"Elitism" vs "Casualism"

[Goji1639]

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The positive and negative aren't things outside your control and they aren't things that are interpreted by either person. When point out a flaw that's a negative, and when pointing out good performance that's a positive. That isn't subjective; and in terms of team etiquette in most situations you're supposed to address a negative in private. To do it any other way is confrontational and only serves to single out and embarrass the person you're attempting to communicate with. Anyone who's worked with a team at a professional level will tell you this; it's incredibly basic.

Now the obvious exception is addressing a problem that needs to be addressed with immediacy, where you don't have the luxury of a more courteous approach. That's not just "a problem you see," it's a problem you feel has to be immediately dealt with right then and there. I don't think many of you are very good at making the distinction between "this is important" and "this is just bothering me" when deciding to be discourteous.

Also, as for my extreme example, again you're just playing at semantics. Pretend I'm one of his friends then, thoroughly involved in their conversation, and decided to blurt out some well intended but completely tactless advice about his bedwetting. Maybe the advice would help our "sleepover" be more comfortable for everyone involved. I'd still be a complete dick to do it right in front of all of his friends, who may or may not have noticed his problem.