Sexual harassment

[Rogatum]

All great advice when you have hindsight, which is always 20/20.

I mean you know what helps in stopping harassment? Not to do it in the first place.

Also maybe some of us would like it so we can trust men and not make them into some kind of thing we have to defend ourselves from.

I am sure most people if they could magic wand away harassment they would do it in an instant, sadly that is not the world we live in. Nor do I think that is a world we will ever live in, certain people will always prey on the weakness of others, be it perceived or otherwise.

[Jojoya]

First line of defense starts with you. If you are victim learn from it and try to ensure it does not happen.

How do you propose we do that when we have no control over what another person chooses to do and usually no foreknowledge that they intend to engage in the inappropriate behavior? Ignoring a harasser doesn't work. They're going to keep it up until they get the response they want. A restraining order will not stop them. Their victim moving will not stop them since they will continue to stalk their victim, nor should their victim have to make a life change when they are not the ones at fault.

Your attitude is the type that leads to violence because the victim has no other recourse since those like you are supporting the harasser's right to engage in that behavior by placing the blame on the victim.

You can google harassment cases all you want but the truth is nothing stops harassers from continuing in their behavior other than their conscious choice to stop, their removal from society via incarceration, their own death or the death of their victim.

What needs to happen is for parents and educators to teach children to respect personal boundaries and to understand that some behavior is never appropriate.

[QT_Melon]

I am sure most people if they could magic wand away harassment they would do it in an instant, sadly that is not the world we live in. Nor do I think that is a world we will ever live in, certain people will always prey on the weakness of others, be it perceived or otherwise.

So you propose that we continue with sexism and treat males as something to be feared.

So much for equality.

[Rogatum]

How do you propose we do that when we have no control over what another person chooses to do and usually no foreknowledge that they intend to engage in the inappropriate behavior? Ignoring the other person rarely works. They're going to keep it up until they get the response they want.

If you're intent on harassing me, nothing I can do will stop you short of resorting to legal action and even that may not stop it depending on your mental state.

As a I mentioned everything comes with an inherent risk factors, and as you said we only have control over the actions we make not others so said I said just do everything you can to protect yourself, learn from others stories or even ones own past experiences. All we can do is try to mitigate the risk factors, and if something were to happen I hope they would seek help. What else can we do? Would it be nice if parents and teachers educated children to respect boundaries, yes. Their will always be those that want to test those boundaries, so I do think people should educate themselves on the signs, and the risks that come with engaging in certain acts and factor them into their choices. Personally I do not have much faith in humanity that we will ever stop those that wish to harm others. Does that mean I do not think we should not try and educate no, but I would hope people still do everything they reasonably can to protect themselves while not closing themselves off from the world.

Your attitude is the type that leads to violence because the victim has no other recourse since those like you are supporting the harasser's right to engage in that behavior by placing the blame on the victim.

May I ask where did you get this from? Is saying that people should do what they can to protect themselves and seek out help when need be really blaming the victim? What else can they do? Take matters into their own hand and kill the harasser? Have people be viewed as guilty until proven innocent when it comes to cases such these? Maybe I am missing something but it seems as if you feel I think those that harasser others should be aloud to do so. That is not the case. I do hope one day we resolve senseless violence, and abuse towards others but until then I think we should still try to info people to do what they can do protect themselves as best as possible that is within practicable reason. If that makes sense. Might have misunderstood what you are saying, if I did I am sorry.

So you propose that we continue with sexism and treat males as something to be feared.

So much for equality.

What else can we do short from living with the fact that their are people in this world that wish to harm others? All we can do is live our lives and understand everything we do comes with risk factors and all we can do is try to mitigate those factors to try and prevent them, and if something were to happen hopefully seek the help needed to resolve the issue. I am more so saying people should live being aware of the fear but not controlled by it. If that makes sense.

[Tranquilmelody7]

Sexual harassment in mmorpg. Lol. Just blacklist ppl and stop being spoiled snowflake. This with all half-nakes miqotes running around looks like silly joke.

Really reminds me of Inotep, Artemisa and Gedran story in wow.

Do you want to know what really bothers me about this post?
The fact that it has 68 likes.

If I'm being genuinely honest, it actually makes me ashamed to play this game.

[QT_Melon]

What else can we do short from living with the fact that their are people in this world that wish to harm others? All we can do is live our lives and understand everything we do comes with risk factors and all we can do is try to mitigate those factors to try and prevent them, and if something were to happen hopefully seek the help needed to resolve the issue. I am more so saying people should live being aware of the fear but not controlled by it. If that makes sense.

Yeah, the short term isn't working. Hasn't been working for decades now. It just bred a culture that women should fear men. Sorry if you know I'd like it stopped where we stop looking at men as possible rapists. As I said before a lot of this advice so after the fact it's ridiculous. You tell pregnant women "well don't have sex" Instead of looking to see what avenues to look at for the future of a possible child?

So you'll excuse my general frustration on rhetoric that does nothing when the damage is done, and keep asking people to talk about how we can change what to do about it. "Well it's hard, so I'm gonna go back on my *insert hindsight* excuse" Then try to claim "hey you're trying to shut down my speech" No, I'm asking you to think outside the box for a bit and talk about solutions going forward instead of dwelling on the past. Is it hard. OF COURSE but I'd like to believe you're an intelligent enough person to engage in this.

[QT_Melon]

However, due to the nature of the situation, the guy being accused has been given very few options to refute the claims towards him. Mind you that this doesn't make him innocent. Honestly, I think both sides handled the situation very poorly which limited the scope for discussion.

Oh he made his own blog and people are already jumping on the bandwagon of shaming the women.

The problem was, the women came forward because it became about using the same logs he's trying to use against them now to blackmail. I mean no matter how much you sorry for the word "Slut shame" as I said before he didn't bother refuting any of the other complaints - which far goes beyond the more solacious bits... because he was worried more about refuting revenge porn even when it came to light one of the women also did something as bad in terms of privacy. Unfortunately, yes this whole thing is a mess because unlike when media breaks about these things, these women don't have a PR agent to properly put forth the information.

[Rogatum]

Yeah, the short term isn't working. Hasn't been working for decades now. It just bred a culture that women should fear men. Sorry if you know I'd like it stopped where we stop looking at men as possible rapists. As I said before a lot of this advice so after the fact it's ridiculous. You tell pregnant women "well don't have sex" Instead of looking to see what avenues to look at for the future of a possible child?

So you'll excuse my general frustration on rhetoric that does nothing when the damage is done, and keep asking people to talk about how we can change what to do about it. "Well it's hard, so I'm gonna go back on my *insert hindsight* excuse" Then try to claim "hey you're trying to shut down my speech" No, I'm asking you to think outside the box for a bit and talk about solutions going forward instead of dwelling on the past. Is it hard. OF COURSE but I'd like to believe you're an intelligent enough person to engage in this.

The past is what will help mitigate issues in the future until we can find a solution that removes the problem completely. Why must it be one or the other? WE can easily do both and that is what I am saying. Maybe I am not expressing myself clearly, but not sure why you seem as frustrated as you do. I am not undermined or belittling the experience of those who have been impacted by such things. Is telling people to protect themselves so wrong? As for your pregnant example, like I mentioned everything we do comes it an inherent risk factor and only you (general you) can determine if that risk factor is worth it, and see what you should do to mitigate the risk factors. Still understanding that something could go wrong and you could end up pregnant. Is that really so wrong?

[QT_Melon]

The past is what will help mitigate issues in the future until we can find a solution that removes the problem completely. Why must it be one or the other?

Again, I think you're an intelligent enough person. However, I don't think you are stating what I'm getting at. The past is not mitigating the future when there is a problem now. Again, how is telling a pregnant woman who needs help now for example, "don't get pregnant" It's basically hand washing. I'm asking you again what steps now can you think of instead of clamoring to the that excuse that we can do to help victims now. We just ignore it and cling to a past excuse?

Let's put this in another way using this comparison on how this dialog with you at its current state is frustrating.

Two people are renting a place, turns out one of them is a bit short on rent.

Person A: I'm going to come up a little short on rent this month.

Person B: What? Why didn't you save enough to make sure this didn't happen.

Person A: I know, but right now can you help me come up with ideas on what I can do for this month

Person B: Well you should save enough money to make sure it doesn't happen.

Person A: Well, what is it that we can do now to make sure rent is paid off now?

Person B: Well to mitigate this problem you should have saved enough money to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Person A: Yeah okay, but again what can we do about paying rent now?

Person B: Why is it wrong for me to tell you that you should have saved money so you could have paid off rent this month.

Person A: Look, I'm asking what can we do about NOW.

[hynaku]

It's only happened to me once so far. I just had a GM take care of it. After that never had another problem.