Sexual harassment

[Rubiss]

You aren't groomed from an online game, and 18 is an adult. You know better at 18.

This part is very important.

[jameseoakes]

You aren't groomed from an online game

I don't get what you mean by this

[Melichoir]

Opinion is all good and dandy but maybe a few here should sit down and think first before actually typing a response, especially considering the sensitivity of the topic.

Or you know, you could jsut say "Hey,thats your opinion man," and leave it at that if you disagree.

Some people are just expressing t heir views. Not every view is great. But I take issue with this sentiment of "Think before you speak about sensitive subjects' as of late because it gets used as a means to stop people from expressing their views. It comes down to "Oh I dont like what some people are expressing. They shouldnt say anything unless they think it through (aka, they shouldnt say anything unless its closer to my world view)."

But hey, thats just my opinion, man.

[Corfish]

This part is very important.

Are you serious? Obviously FFXIV isn't doing the grooming. But the people you meet behind the characters CAN. And while the technical term for adults doesn't seem to be "grooming," it can still happen. It just has more defined steps. The victims may be different ages, but the overall strategies and consequences are still the same.

[Solarra]

I honestly don't think victim-blaming is helpful.
It takes the spotlight off the abusers and places responsibility on everyone else not to be abused. That seems backwards to me.
Of course people should take steps to protect themselves, but people have varying degrees of experience and may not always see the danger signs, especially in a social situation where the person doing the harassment has lots of friends, a good reputation in the community, or is in a position of power.
In my experience abusers often choose people who are vulnerable in some way and exploit that vulnerability.

When dealing with issues like this as a FC leader, the first thing I do, without exception, is encourage people to report and then use all the tools they have at their disposal to put distance between them and the person harassing them. However, it's not always enough, the tools we have are not perfect and since it's relatively easy to find someone in-game, even if they change their name, the abuse may not stop.

I think the most helpful response to the issues raised by The Moogle Post would be to:
- consider if we as a community (both players and Square), are doing enough to send out the message that sexual abuse will not be tolerated and to support the victims.
- look at the tools available to people experiencing harassment in-game and see if we can add to them or improve what is already there.

[AriaFairchild]

Poor Square, having to deal with balancing the game, creating new content, policing people who dare hurting other's feelings...now having to deal with players' shenanigans that happen outside the game.

[Rubiss]

Poor Square, having to deal with balancing the game, creating new content, policing people who dare hurting other's feelings...now having to deal with players' shenanigans that happen outside the game.

Square's involvement should begin and end and enabling players to block each other and having GMs who will look into players who harm the community. Anything else is just silly. Sexual harassment alerts? Movements? Unnecessary.

[Bourne_Endeavor]

When I was 18, I would not have listened to them. I was certainly old enough to understand what was going on. She knew he needed to be blocked. You don't make decisions, based on social status.

FC leader should have kicked whoever was needed to be kicked, rather than leave. Barring that the 18 year old should have left the FC. You shouldn't want to be in a FC that doesn't have your back. We all had 'friends' that weren't really friends. You drop them like a bad habit, no matter how much time you spent together.

Operative word being "I". They aren't you nor do they have the same confidence, experience or thought process you do. I, too, wouldn't go along with it, however that is far easier said then done. Someone with a poor upbringing, bad past experiences, depression and all sorts of other possibilities will not be equally equipped to handle the same scenario. You have to view this from their perspective, with their personality, not your own.

[Alleo]

You aren't groomed from an online game, and 18 is an adult. You know better at 18.

Thats completely ignoring that people in online games can feel like real life friends too and can turn into great friendships and more. So I am not really sure how this cant happen in a game? Also not everyone is completely stable. Come from a bad family and suddenly that nice guy that compliments you looks like a beacon of hope. Have low self esteem, mental problems like depression or aniexty or just generally have gone throught something bad and feel down. Its exactly those that this guy went to. And we are not talking about a few sentences and they did everything he wanted.

Stuff like that takes months. Months full of being friends with someone, being worshipped and yet slowly also isolated from the rest. So yes you can be groomed throught online means because friendship cant just happen in real life.

[Zsolen]

Thats completely ignoring that people in online games can feel like real life friends too and can turn into great friendships and more. So I am not really sure how this cant happen in a game? Also not everyone is completely stable. Come from a bad family and suddenly that nice guy that compliments you looks like a beacon of hope. Have low self esteem, mental problems like depression or aniexty or just generally have gone throught something bad and feel down. Its exactly those that this guy went to. And we are not talking about a few sentences and they did everything he wanted.

Stuff like that takes months. Months full of being friends with someone, being worshipped and yet slowly also isolated from the rest. So yes you can be groomed throught online means because friendship cant just happen in real life.

I never said people could not feel like friends. That does not impair a person's judgement. She made the correct judgement, intially.