Tips on being a mentor but not sounding bossy

[Miste]

I am simply saying that the way you word your advice is absolutely important in getting the best response you can - because you don't know the personality of the other person.
Your original post had the general tone that the way you word it didn't matter and it was all on the interpretation, which I definitely can't agree with.

I disagree that wording is the problem. I feel the problem is the players who get defensive at the drop of a hat, because I've tried every which way to word things as best as I am capable of and it still gets me insulted as a result half the time. So I never said I don't try to reduce the chances of someone misinterpreting my intentions, but my issue is it doesn't seem to matter even if I do.

Even using smiley faces more than once someone accused me of being condescending. Not sure how much more I can sugar coat everything beyond spamming heart symbols maybe... I haven't tried going quite that far yet.

The fact that you can word something perfectly and still get harassed as a result basically shows that wording things isn't the problem. The problem is how others deal with someone asking them something or making a suggestion. Some are too defensive where anything you say ends up getting them pissed at you. I am not saying this is what happens all the time, but in general someone open to advice or questions wouldn't care if you worded it one way or added smiley faces they would still be okay with it.

If someone isn't ok with your advice or questions they have options. Either they can ignore you or they can politely respond "Thanks, but I want to figure it out on my own" (sadly I've never seen this response ever). Instead I've gotten a lot of insults when all they had to do was tell me that one sentence and I would have been like "sure np".

So yes I am advocating that people think before getting defensive over something simple like a question and that if they are unsure of the other player's intentions they can simply ask for clarification. I mean I understand you think it is useless to try to spread this ideal, but I was just trying to explain how this community could end up a nicer place overall. People advocate for a better world all the time so why not? It doesn't always accomplish anything but people still do it.

I don't think you need to defend that point to anyone. No one should have the idea that harassment is ok.

Well some people really don't care. I mean I had a O3N run earlier where one of the DPS kept calling the healers "stupid" and "bad" over and over and making fun of them for every mistake he saw them make. So in a perfect world you would hope you don't have to defend that point, but sadly it isn't.

PS. I wasn't telling OP not to give advice, I was explaining why wording isn't the main problem when it comes to how other players react to what you say (again minus if said person is using rude language themselves), and saying that harassing someone simply for asking a question is silly no matter if they used "this wording" or "that wording", and shared my personal experience on it and how I rarely give advice anymore because of people reacting badly so often even to nicely worded suggestions. It is better that people know this can happen instead of going into mentorland and expecting things to be all rainbows and sunshine. You can get people who will verbally harass and insult you for trying to help them no matter if your intentions were completely innocent and no matter how well you word your help.