Tips on being a mentor but not sounding bossy

[Saiah]

Honestly, everyone is talking about this subject like theyre diffusing a bomb. Just cut a cord and if it starts ticking, push it off a pier and replace it with a new one.

[Darkobra]

So you were in a level 50 MAIN STORY dungeon, and felt the need to pick apart gear? Level 50! In a game where the downscaling is so horrible that 4 level 70s can finish a dungeon that 8 level 50s can!
MAIN STORY where most of the game gives you no rewards useful in the jewellery department, mainly armour and weapons.
MAIN STORY dungeon and you're checking gear.

If you're that concerned about how a new player gears up, give them money and tell them where to buy stuff. If you're actually skilled, actually experienced and been around as long as I have? You'll damn well remember how poor our options are at that level and realise you CANNOT LOSE this game.

[Mavrias]

So you were in a level 50 MAIN STORY dungeon, and felt the need to pick apart gear? Level 50! In a game where the downscaling is so horrible that 4 level 70s can finish a dungeon that 8 level 50s can!
MAIN STORY where most of the game gives you no rewards useful in the jewellery department, mainly armour and weapons.
MAIN STORY dungeon and you're checking gear.

If you're that concerned about how a new player gears up, give them money and tell them where to buy stuff. If you're actually skilled, actually experienced and been around as long as I have? You'll damn well remember how poor our options are at that level and realise you CANNOT LOSE this game.

NPC vendors are a thing.

[Mycow8me]

If your afraid of helping people out of consideration for them or fear of backlash, you won't ever help anyone. Even if you could phrase it in a nice way, even if they do lash out at you, somewhere down the line they might try or think about what you said so its probably better to say something even with repercussions.

[SenorPatty]

Also stick to the point. Don't be a classpedia. If they want you to be one, you can do it after the dgn's cleared.

[Altena]

"Hi there xxxxx, would you like a few pointers? I can see a few things that might help you improve."

"Sure" or no response?
--> "Well it's a good idea to use AoE skills on 4 or more monsters."
--> "You should always try and keep your gear relevant to your level and class. You can find vendor gear at {insert place here}." etc etc

They respond with No.
-- > "Ok no worries."

Can't help people that don't want to be helped. Even if it is genuine advice that would make them a better player.
If they don't respond, just give it to them anyway. They may not want to admit to needing advice, but will take it - or they will just ignore you anyway. Might as well try.

If they say "yes" and they start doing what you suggest - then make sure to follow that up with a commend at the end of the dungeon. Positive reinforcement.

Finally, if they start harassing you, just shrug it off / ignore it. No point on getting into a big argument in the duty and disrupting the other people in the party.

[Endeleon]

I'm not a mentor but my biggest tip on giving advice/fixing mistakes is to /tell the individual instead of doing it on a group setting, as this takes away any shame or embarrassment they may have from having their laundry out to dry so to say.

[Ilenya]

Usually when I want to offer advice I start with "Name, may I ask you something?" More often than not they are okay with me doing a follow-up and having a conversation on it, or just say nothing, where I won't bother. I think the only time I don't ask is with a tank with a badly underleveled weapon (Read, 15-20 levels below. Not ilevel, actual level) since it affects their abilities to do things so much. I can't recall ever having someone complain at me, and have actually made a few friends just trying to help.

[Aomine1992]

Yea starting off with "why arnt you ____" will most always get a retaliation or a "you don't pay my sub" I usually try to tell them that this skill may help them better in different situations and never get an attitude so it leads me to wonder how some of you word your "helpful advice" and are you being narcissistic about

[XiXiQ]

The words you use certainly are important.

Why aren't you doing XYZ??

Why ask this when it's already obvious the person doesn't know what XYZ does or how to use it? It is pointless, accusational, and invites the other person to either admit ignorance or tell you to get on your bike. unsurprisingly, some are going to choose the latter. Either way, you aren't making any friends that way.

There's no need to challenge other users in this manner, it's counter-productive. You can make a general statement about what works/what doesn't - and don't expect an immediate reply, you also need to give the player time for it to sink in, maybe change their hotbar, etc. Just firing off challenges and expecting the other player to immediately fall into line and thank you profusely is a problem of your own expectations. What you will never know, is if that player took your comments on board and used them in their next dungeon.