You pull you tank question.

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Not always a DPS, just the majority. Most healers aren't stupid enough to draw aggro before a tank. Most of them learn this problem when they cast too strong of a heal and adds the tank even tagged already go to them thus making the tank turn around and slow down the pull due to them being mobbed out early.

If the YPYT didn't result in 1 death, it's because someone else skipped the tutorial in hall of novice and tagged things they shouldn't have or were blind and didn't adjust to the tank.

- Tank has tank stance.
- Tank grabs 3 adds.
- DPS and Heal target 3 adds after.
- 2nd DPS grabs 3 extra adds.

Tank AFK's -> Don't attack or heal to avoid generating enmity that's going to rip it away from the tank. If he dies, that's on him. Whether it was a purposeful AFK, a keyboard/controller disconnect, etc. doesn't matter. You'd treat the situation the same way. If I see my tank not moving for a good second and he's looking even remotely close to death, I'm already running away back toward home base for his respawn. I'm not going to sit there and I already know what's going to happen 10-15s down the line. In most situations, iirc, they de-aggro after a certain range and won't follow anymore regardless.

Tank turns off tank stance -> Doesn't matter. You still see the enmity button indicating when you're about to pass the tank. Stop dealing damage/healing before it gets to that final stage.

Tank goes to single target -> You switch to single target the same as Hall of Novice.

You could have just posted "Bend over backwards to satisfy my ego trip" and it would have conveyed the same meaning. Have you tried acting like an adult and communicating with your party instead?