I'm gonna say something unpopular: I don't like to rush.

[Nestama]

You are so incapable of understanding a rule of politeness (which seemed standard / normal when I was new) as one, that it's outright baffling to me.

If I'm the tank, I decide how much is pulled. If someone else is the tank, they decide the amount of mobs. It's as simple as that.

This philosophy has nothing to do with dictatorship (and you even going that far to put it that way makes me wonder several things); it's all about how much a tank has the courage to hold larger groups and / or if they trust the present healer.

If people find it amusing to willingly mess with that just because they are in a rush or whatever reason they may have, they deserve to get the aggro they provoked. Rushers can tank themselves or pick a friend to do so if they aren't able to cope with different kinds of tanks.

Mate, if you're choosing to do small pulls even after the Healer (and/or DPS) says you can do big pulls, then you absolutely are being a dictator. You're saying "I'm a tank and I alone decide how things are done." That is more impolite (heck, I'd even go as far as saying that's pretty damn rude) than a DPS/Healer pulling ahead and grabbing mobs for you.

There's no I in Team.

Here's the rest of what I said in what you left out in your quote (and I just don't feel like repeating myself):

Just tell them not to pull for you once everything is dealt with, or adjust to bigger pulls if the extra mobs didn't cause a wipe.

The only time small pulls > big pulls is if the DPS and healer are bad (don't AoE, don't DPS, undergeared, etc). Everyone controls the pace of the run. Not just the tank.