Is there a place for me?

[Melichoir]

I'm a misfit. A completely socially retarded freak. I have autism. I've been kicked from raid groups, bullied and blocked from what I really want to do in this game, which is PvE, simply because I don't harmonize with normal people.

I end up alone and bitter.

I will never be able to behave the way others want but I'm not a low performing player on average and I do have a server 3rd on O4S before my raid group told me I was AIDS and kicked me.

I play FFXIV everyday and want to find other freaks and misfits, people who are genuinely retarded and hated by others but with some level of skill in this game, to do content with. I've grown allergic to normal people. I can't stand them and they can't stand me. I need to be with people who are super excentric.

I'm not looking for normal people to have pity on me. I've given up trying to adapt to what others want. I can't change who I am. I'm looking for people as weird and deviant as me to actually enjoy the game with.

Go to Therapy if you arent already.

Sorry if this comes off as blunt, but yeah, you might need to see a specialist if you have a hard time interacting with other people and getting social cues. Part of this could be autism, I can understand that, but some of this (by your post alone) doesnt seem like it's the whole picture. It comes across as "Im different, I refuse to change, so the world needs to change for me." A variance of this is the "Im me, and its everyone elses fault why I have trouble getting along with people." You come across as bitter and refusing to work on adjusting yourself and meeting people half way. It's semi self inflicted. If you want to have relations with people and society at large, then you will have to learn some level of social cues and norms. You will have to work on changing yourself to some extent if you want more meaningful interactions with people at large. That isnt easy. But nothing rewarding in life ever is. Im not saying "Work on yourself to get rid of autism", but you need to learn social cues and norms and how to interact with people, which therapy can help with. If you refuse to change yourself, and use your Autism as the reason you cant change, then you probably will just end up being even more bitter and resentful long term.