Is there a place for me?

[Sanctify]

Just do like a lot of us and raid/play w.o talking in voips. Personally, I wouldn't care how weird/shitty of a person someone is if they play and know their job if they just keep their head down and never bring it to light.

If keeping quite isnt an option Idk how much luck you'll have lol.

[Krotoan]

Taking the thread literally :

There are likely people out there who will "accept" you as long as you are competent at the game. The problem is finding them. Is this thread asking people to come forward or asking for methods to find those people?

[Linadae]

Only thing he said was that I was ranting too much.

This might have been the issue. People don't like to be around others who tend to remain in extremes. No one wants to be around someone who is always angry or always sad. And while I know you said you don't want to have to alter your behavior to try to fit in with people, unfortunately...that's how fitting in works. We all have to alter our behaviors in one way or another in order to get along with others. Often we're not aware we're even doing it. If one is incapable or choose not to make the minor changes necessary to fit in with a group, then perhaps a group based game isn't the sort of game one should consider playing?

[Sasarayu]

Bit of a funny thing to say when you're the first post, 8 minutes later. :P


Anyway, to respond to the thread, there might be a place for you, but it'll probably be hard to find. It probably isn't enough to just find a group of "misfit freaks", because the more eccentric the people are, the more varied their behaviors are, basically by definition. So even if you do find a bunch of eccentric people, you might hate them and they might hate you anyway, because you might have different brands of eccentricity that rub each other the wrong way. Like, I'm an anime nerd, but if I meet a train nerd who talks about nothing but trains 24/7 I'm prob not gonna keep hanging out with him just because we're both nerds, since I just don't wanna hear about trains all day. If you're a (self-proclaimed) ranter, you gotta find people who would want to listen to the things you're ranting about.

You might not want the approval of the "normal" people in this thread, but if you want to find a group of misfits willing to accept you, you'd probably have to advertise your brand of misfitness some way or another, whether that's talking about it here or putting up a PF with a strange message looking for a static, to make sure the people who you want to see you actually see you. Otherwise, the only thing people really know about you is that your last group disliked you enough to boot you, which isn't a great look for finding a group to join. So knowing a bit more about what you're like in raiding might help in determining whether or not you're likely to find other people.

I could write 200 pages about myself but that would be deemed self indulgent nonsense and few would read it so I started this thread so people can see for themselves what I'm like.

Taking the thread literally :

There are likely people out there who will "accept" you as long as you are competent at the game. The problem is finding them. Is this thread asking people to come forward or asking for methods to find those people?

Both since I'm approaching FFXIV from many different angles and playing it for many reasons. There is no one solution.

"A complete socially retarded freak" describes 75% of the MMO community by normal standards. Describing yourself that way in the context of this game indicates that your behavior is extreme. Most of us have no idea what that would look like. Without concrete examples, we have no idea how extreme.

This sums it up nicely. I'm apparently too extreme for people with various strange behaviours. It's difficult to describe exactly how but I suppose it might come down to limited theory of mind or whatever that I simply don't understand myself just HOW extreme I am when others seem to doubt if I'm even real.

[Krotoan]

Both since I'm approaching FFXIV from many different angles and playing it for many reasons. There is no one solution.

In this case I would most definitely suggest also posting in the server subforums if you have not already. That's all I have though. Best of luck.

[Rocond]

Is there a place for me?

No. /10char

[RyuuSkyez]

This might have been the issue. People don't like to be around others who tend to remain in extremes. No one wants to be around someone who is always angry or always sad. And while I know you said you don't want to have to alter your behavior to try to fit in with people, unfortunately...that's how fitting in works. We all have to alter our behaviors in one way or another in order to get along with others. Often we're not aware we're even doing it. If one is incapable or choose not to make the minor changes necessary to fit in with a group, then perhaps a group based game isn't the sort of game one should consider playing?

I agree with this post, Social deviance is not acceptable even in the real world, you can go to jail for doing so. Its important to learn how to get along with others, no matter your mental capabilities, or else you will find it hard to get anyone who wants to be around you.

[Barraind]

"A complete socially retarded freak" describes 75% of the MMO community by normal standards. Describing yourself that way in the context of this game indicates that your behavior is extreme. Most of us have no idea what that would look like. Without concrete examples, we have no idea how extreme.

I've had 2 people in guilds with me describe themselves that way.

One just never shut up and had a volume permanently set on 11. Permanent scream. Regularly muted for the entirety of raids. Regularly muted by everyone outside of raids.

The other just spewed the most nonsensical crap. Have a joke? He'll tell you 5 right after. Casually mention something you enjoy (or dont)? Enjoy the 3 hour diatribe about how you're right. Or wrong. Usually wrong. Be prepared to defend why you think a philly cheesesteak sounds good right now. Be prepared to explain in detail any opinion you have on any topic ever, and defend it over a constant string of interrupting objections.


Gonna say his is the second type.

[Gihwezi]

I have autism and I guess I would qualify for at least five so called "personality disorders" (made up nonsense imo though, a personality is never a disorder regardless of psychological mechanisms).

Nah that's definitely not how it works. I mean, you can have autism and a personality disorder, that's totally possible, but having autism doesn't mean you definitely have a personality disorder. Autism is it's own thing. Also getting diagnosed with 5 personality disorders is absurd.

I have npd and aspd--both diagnosis were rigorous and took a very, very long time to diagnose. You gotta chill out a bit--saying people's mental illnesses don't exist is pretty heavy, especially when you made this thread about being ostracized for yours.

EDIT: Actually yeah, after reading your out of pocket addendum, you really come off as a self-diagnoser with pds who has no idea what they're talking about. :T You really shouldn't be spreading this sort of talk around when it's definitely not your place to speak on it.

I mean, you're like, 'a personality disorder is just nonsense'--meanwhile I can't even type a simple forum post without using modifiers like 'definitely' and 'literally' and 'very' because one of my symptoms is using extreme language and speaking in hyperbole because I'm really dramatic, but okay I guess.

[Kelani]

My son has a rare genetic disorder "KBG Syndrome" and he has many issues including Autism. He is very abrupt in manor, is quick to get angry, has very extreme bursts of temper tantrums, and also can become very violent. As I said in another topic I am undergoing an assessment to see if I also have autism (something I find hard to talk about because of the way my parents bought me up and made me ashamed of myself). Actually it was my son that urged me to go and see someone because he "recognised" himself in me. And yes we are very alike in personality I admit!

Anyway, the point of this post is because for years I've been worried that my son had no friends due to his personality, his abrupt nature and the fact that he likes to be in control of everything. Since the age of 11 he's attended a very good school for children with ASD and he'll be leaving in around 3 weeks. I still thought that he hadn't made any friends with anyone but a couple of weeks ago he met someone who had left his school the previous year, and they exchanged a hug, their phone numbers and added each other to whatsapp. You wouldn't believe, as a parent, how happy that made me.

So as to whether you "fit in or not" there's going to be someplace that you will do. My son found a group of friends (like me 2 to be precise) that will keep in touch, and when my son has more confidence about travelling independently, he's hoping to arrange to meet them socially. There's going to be people, albeit, maybe only one or two, that will understand you, get you, and want to remain in touch with you! So please don't lose faith and think you're a complete outcast. Good luck on your journey