Is there a place for me?

[Sasarayu]

I'm honestly not surprised this happened... the replies and 'advice' most people are responding with I mean. Evidently self disclosing we have autism isn't clear enough for some.
They say we lack empathy - and yet it's mostly those with autism who're showing empathy.

I'm leery about trying to give any advice without knowing you better, but some of what you mentioned I've been through myself - it's never fun or easy.

1st, I'm on Aether datacenter - if you were open to hopping centers I'd be down to hang out.
Just came back from hiatus a month ago myself so I have some catching up to do. I can't guarantee you'd get along with most of the people I hang out with - but we're largely a gaggle of 'neets' and abnormal people. If anyone's putting up with anyone - it's at least mutual. (yeah that's a terrible sales pitch, I don't do retail)

I wouldn't be surprised if that's not an option you'd consider, but if you're looking for others in your center, I personally look for this:

• Seek out people who will be honest or candid with you. This usually only works if you self-disclose granted (but we've both self disclosed so I'm guessing that's not an issue?).
  [/INDENT]
• If you're going to try and find people like you - consider people with ADHD too.
• The few autism groups I've seen or visited, referred to folks with ADHD as 'cousins' for a reason - more 'kissing cousins' I suppose.
• People who self describe as 'neets' can be ok to hang out with. No guarantee because people can be a neet for many reasons - but I seem to mesh well with the ones I know.

There's also a variety of autistic gaming communities online - not really been in any myself, but I doubt there won't be at least a couple people in there that play FFXIV.

We could also add each other on discord if you like.

Too bad we aren't in the same part of the world, meaning awful ping etc. I'm at least glad to find one autistic person who doesn't play advocate for the "neurotypical" majority but understand where my anger comes from and why people turn into monsters from bad experiences with the community.

I would try to find people with ADHD too. Some people even have both, more rare though. I once had a friend in FFXIV who is also autistic. Before he lost interest in the game we basically did all minor content smoothly, with no complaints and somewhat high performance but we couldn't find 6 others like that and his ambition level was lower than mine so we drifted apart eventually. He mostly enjoyed being house clown for the more normal majority in the end and didn't like me swinging at them so violently.

[Phenidate]

Too bad we aren't in the same part of the world, meaning awful ping etc. I'm at least glad to find one autistic person who doesn't play advocate for the "neurotypical" majority but understand where my anger comes from and why people turn into monsters from bad experiences with the community.

I would try to find people with ADHD too. Some people even have both, more rare though. I once had a friend in FFXIV who is also autistic. Before he lost interest in the game we basically did all minor content smoothly, with no complaints and somewhat high performance but we couldn't find 6 others like that and his ambition level was lower than mine so we drifted apart eventually. He mostly enjoyed being house clown for the more normal majority in the end and didn't like me swinging at them so violently.

As far as the location barrier - I only realized Odin was an EU server after someone mentioned it.
Understandable if you don't want put up with the ping issues - but if you don't have any luck on your side of the globe; there are some options we might try to help with ping issues - not always perfect solutions but I'd like to help.
Right now I'm rich in free time, so feel free to hit me up if you like. My sleep schedule is off to, so I'm likely to be awake when you are anyways.

I'm Autumn#8679 on discord, throw me an invite if you'd like to chat.

On the ADHD thing - I wonder if it's more a difference between ICD and DSM diagnosis guidelines. Here at least, things have changed quite a bit in the past few decades as far as medical science and diagnosis guidelines go at least. I'm unsure if the relation between ADHD to autism (and several other possible disorders) is the same when reversed - it wouldn't surprise me to hear most people with autism don't have ADHD.
You can say you know at least one more person with both though, something I learned not long ago myself honestly.

[DumdogsWorld]

I would offer to help you, but you're on a different data center than me. And since you're on a European data center, transferring would likely not be a good idea even if you wanted to.

[Driavna]

About WoW vs FF14 raiding: one needs 25 good players the other just 8. In WoW people will deal with you because recruiting for mythic raiding is no joke so guilds a more willing to deal with problematic players because finding a replacement is hard. In FF14 there is no need to deal with anything.

[Nedkel]

Your biggest curse is that, you want to play competitive at high level, but finds out that people doing it are not tolerant for you disability.
This is how it is, to be the top performing you have to be rude and intolerant and very selective as well, because top tier content is demanding and there is no place for a lot of mistakes. My advice for you its to not share your story with them thats it. I would be ostracised as well if i would tell them that i have an ibs and need to take often breaks from the game.

[Driavna]

The problem is not his/her performance as a player, people just don't like to be around him/her.

[Nedkel]

The problem is not his/her performance as a player, people just don't like to be around him/her.

Its them thinking he is defective as a player because of it, i am not saying it.
He should not share his story with anyone online unless he knows a person really close so he could share it with them, world is not fair and will never be, especially in places where people judge everyone over all the time.
Online world requires different approaches.

I would never turn to a psychiatrist ever. Especially not to "fit in with others".

When I was a child my parents were threatened by authorities who compelled them to take me to psychiatrists and force a bunch of medication and crap on me or they might lose custody. They had to do all kinds of humiliating stuff like apologizing for me in public and the medications ranged from schizophrenia drugs to strong antidepressant and nowadays banned medications that could cause sudden heart failures in some. All along, "society" thought my parents did it because they were ashamed of me since they didn't know school and social authorities used legal paragraphs to force them into accepting this.

To even suggest I should seek psychiatric "care" to "help change my behaviour" is one of the greatest insults imaginable. I hope to see the day when psychiatry is abolished and the people behind it and working in it severely punished by a legal system.

Forget about it and seek for a medical care.
Not all psychiatrists are bad, most of them are there to help you. The way they may treat you is a part of medical procedures on someone with mental health issues. I had in my family few cases of schizophrenia and they were hating psychiatrist because of the similar reasons thinking they are fine and all the world around them want to control them and change them, but end up being tied up and closed for few months, and became a normal functioning persons after few years of medical treatment, without anxiety without nothing.
All medications are coming with side effects, especially those for mental health, but they are still developing them and they are helping people to the point where someone not being able to function could find a job while taking them.
Dont be so biased and try it again, psychiatric medical care is developing really fast and is helping a ton of people, you may only get worse if you refuse to treat yourself.

[Fellgon]

Its them thinking he is defective as a player because of it, i am not saying it.
He should not share his story with anyone online unless he knows a person really close so he could share it with them, world is not fair and will never be, especially in places where people judge everyone over all the time.
Online world requires different approaches.




Forget about it and seek for a medical care.
Not all psychiatrists are bad, most of them are there to help you. The way they may treat you is a part of medical procedures on someone with mental health issues. I had in my family few cases of schizophrenia and they were hating psychiatrist because of the similar reasons thinking they are fine and all the world around them want to control them and change them, but end up being tied up and closed for few months, and became a normal functioning persons after few years of medical treatment, without anxiety without nothing.
All medications are coming with side effects, especially those for mental health, but they are still developing them and they are helping people to the point where someone not being able to function could find a job while taking them.
Dont be so biased and try it again, psychiatric medical care is developing really fast and is helping a ton of people, you may only get worse if you refuse to treat yourself.

I Agree. Not all pychiatrics are bad. I have squizhofrenia but i been living a normal life for more that 15 years, i have a girlfriend and we been togheder for 10 years. I work and also graduated in university like everyone else. I have ADD too.

Ive found a serious doctor that helped me with the right medication with the right amount (new medication, like zargus) i dont feel doped and tired, and my family helped me too. I never used drugs, i dont drink beer, so my condition its pure DNA. Its been realy long i dont go in another crisis, and i never forget to take my medication daily, for me its like using glasses. But most important is that i acepted my condition and acepted be helped. also be sure to find good therapist, a good psychologist that can compreend your perspective.

*Maybe ill regret the post but **** ill post anyway*

[Gihwezi]

snip.

It's real nice to see a fellow schizophrenic on here. ; v ;

My current medicine makes me feel extremely tired and zombie-like, but I'm on what seems like my 8209380921th try and I'm scared of trying anything new or better out of fear that it'll make me worse or the side affects (which is why I had to shuffle medications in the first place, mostly).

[Fellgon]

It's real nice to see a fellow schizophrenic on here. ; v ;

My current medicine makes me feel extremely tired and zombie-like, but I'm on what seems like my 8209380921th try and I'm scared of trying anything new or better out of fear that it'll make me worse or the side affects (which is why I had to shuffle medications in the first place, mostly).

i changed only once, last one the med make me have a infinite hungry debuff that was making me be in bad mood, so i asked him to give me a better one that dont give me that side effect.