Sexual harassment

[Rogatum]

Just imagine you have a car accident because you sadly drove a bit faster than what is allowed. You land in hospital, barely survived it and maybe you will even be permanently hurt. And the thing that your family says to you is: Why could you not have driven slower? You should have been a good adult..Probably totally "helps" the person that already realized their mistake and paid for it the most.

The same with abuse. The person in question is probably already beating themselves up for it because that who suffer of the after effect are those that realized that they were abused. Thus imo the best that family could do is to support them without any negative comments...because the person itself will know the best what went wrong and now need all the help and support they can get, to get through this. (I mean abuse is whole different level than a child throwing a tandrum or doing something bad.)

@Aria: If your child has been sexually assaulted on the street would you really scold them for "mistakes"? Because hey she wore that short dress, its surely her fault and not the one that assaulted her.

I think the key factor is age here or the cognitive ability of the person in question. For example if someone forced themselves on a sleeping person scolding them would be wrong. So say if someone is a small child, has limited cognitive ability (due to age) or is mentally handicapped, and or asleep placing blame on them serves no purpose since they either will not be able to comprehend / be respective to what is going on, or had any control over their actions. It is a different case if someone left their drink unattended and was drugged. Really comes down to how doing what we can to protect ourselves far as is possible and practicable. So yes certain cases placing the blame on the person does not make sense, but in cases like the kidnapped child because the parent was inattentive, mugged due to in short not reading the situation probably, or in the case of someone got into an accident due to driving above the speed limit. They should be told what they did, because this is not just about them. I was guilty of this when I was mugged, I thought oh it is 2016 who mugs people anymore. That was my arrogance showing. In your example with the car, what happens if the family in question does not have good insurance and now because of their reckless driving the burden is placed on the family, or if they happened to hit another car while driving above the speed limit. The sad thing is rarely do any of our actions have an impact solely on us. Like with the cops I thought my actions impacted only me, never thought what weight my actions truly have. I could have died all because I executed poor judgement, I can tell you in that moment I did not think I could die because I withdrew money from an ATM in a deli around people late at night. Granted you can die doing anything, but as people we should enforce and encourage people protect themselves far as is possible and practicable to mitigate risk factors. Something could still go wrong, but at the very least you tried. Guess what I am trying to say is right to excuse inaction and poor judgement because someone's feelings may get hurt?

I hope what I am trying to say makes sense, not the best at explaining things in text.