Sexual harassment

[Solarra]

If you think telling your kid they are being irresponsible is being insensitive, and that their irresponsibility is affecting others, you are doing a poor job raising children.

*Jawdrop* You're taking ad-hominem to a new level, too.

My point was that if a younger member of your family is abused and all you can offer is a lecture on how irresponsible they were to let it happen and how it's affecting you then you are basically throwing yourself a 'pity party' and making their problems all about yourself. A bit of support and practical help might be more appropriate.

If you had read my earlier posts in this thread you would have seen that I am absolutely in favour of giving people the knowledge and tools to minimize their risk of being harassed and to cope with it if it happens.
However, putting all the emphasis on 'how not to be a victim' does send out the message to potential abusers that if a person doesn't respond to them in a certain manner then anything they do is at least partly excused.

[AriaFairchild]

If you had read my earlier posts in this thread

all you can offer is a lecture on how irresponsible they were to let it happen and how it's affecting you then you are basically throwing yourself a 'pity party' and making their problems all about yourself

*Jawdrop* You're taking tunnel-visioning to a new level.

I'll show her compassion, after chastising her for her immaturity/foolishness.

Take your own advice man. You are the only one who zeroed in on the 'pity party' aspect, when no one did such thing. All that I had said is that the kid needs to know how its action had affected others, and that showing compassion is a given in this case.

For example:

"You know what, Junior, what you did was very foolish. You left without letting me or your mom know. You made us worried sick about you. Now that you are here, you are safe. That's all that matter. But promise us to always tell mom and dad whenever you go, alright? We love you more than anything in this world."

cue jaw drop sound for dramatic effect

How can this example be used when someone was sexual harassed? Your example sounds more like a young child that went too far away from their parents, not someone that was abused or sexual attacked. Also what would you say to someone that went through that on the internet? For something that went on for months?

This is just used to illustrate that reprimanding (if the person did actually do something stupid) and showing love can happen at the same time. For a particular case, you can phrase it in a similar spirit. And also:

And 18 years is still a child. You don't become an adult until your early to mid twenties. Just because the state might consider you an adult for the purposes of the judiciary, it by no means indicates that you are an adult where it really matters. Neuroscience is the authority on this, not arbitrary legal thresholds.

There's this consensus that 18 is still a child, so I am doing exactly that, treating them like a child. In this particular case, the child did just that "went too far away from their parents" without telling the parents even.