After reading through this I asked a bunch of friends and no one has ever been in parties where people were kicked because of parsing. The closest I have seen is in a dungeon a dps was complaining about how slow it was and that the other dps was crap. I was the tank I told them to stop and then gave them both advice on rotation. The non-complaining dps was doing more damage even before the advice. From my experience all this fear seems unwarranted sure it sometimes happens. I have been playing since Titan Ex was current, I raid and pug often savages and extremes. The only time I hear about parser abuse is on the forum. If it is so uncommon deal with it then and there, this is no different than any abuse.If you want to use FFlogs to better yourself it is there to be used. That is how I improve, I study better players rotations and learn from them. I do it for personal improvement not to show off to other people in my community or belittle anyone.

TLDR: Don't worry so much about if someone is parsing or if you are being judged on said parses. Most people don't care they are focusing on improving themselves.