Expectations are ruining this game

[Delily]

I can relate to the fiance. I want to try my hand at tanking, but I know I'll get shat on for fucking up in trials or alliance. Dungeons, so far, haven't been so bad but in alliance or trials? People can get really nasty if a tank messes up. I know most dungeons and raids like they're the back of my hand at this point, and I'm typically OK with running any dungeon as tank provided I have my favourite healer, otherwise I only do ones I'm very comfortable with, like Wanderer's Palace. But Alliance? Even though I know those ones so well, I'm not confident about tanking with multiple tanks, knowing tank mechs, etc. So, I really can't bring myself to do those.

You're overthinking this. Seriously. You join a raid, a trial, or a random dungeon, and what's the worst that happens? Some people will call you means names and vote kick. In 4 years of tanking, I can count on one hand how often that has happened to me. Even now, I'll commonly forget mechanics. I just tell people "my bad, I forgot" and we move on.

[Awha]

You're overthinking this. Seriously. You join a raid, a trial, or a random dungeon, and what's the worst that happens? Some people will call you means names and vote kick. In 4 years of tanking, I can count on one hand how often that has happened to me. Even now, I'll commonly forget mechanics. I just tell people "my bad, I forgot" and we move on.

I agree 100%. If people want to try something they try it, just go in understanding that you have the chance to run into many different types of players some will understand, others will not. If as a new player you run into someone that you view as overly harsh take just chalk that up to a random chance encounter, now if you run into the same reaction many times then maybe it is time to take a look at how you are doing things.

I get it negative experiences tend to leave a lasting impression but generally I do honestly believe if people really thought long and hard and tallied up each negative experience against the positive / neutral ones unless as a player your behavior or play is not substantially below the standard deviation of the general population of players the positive and neutral experiences would be far greater. This community is far from as "toxic" as some make it out to be, if unless by "toxic" people mean apathetic.

[Vahlnir]

I agree 100%. If people want to try something they try it, just go in understanding that you have the chance to run into many different types of players some will understand, others will not. If as a new player you run into someone that you view as overly harsh take just chalk that up to a random chance encounter, now if you run into the same reaction many times then maybe it is time to take a look at how you are doing things.

This is something I've had to do while easing myself back into tanking after like, 10 years. I've done enough content in this game through the years that I generally have an idea as to how most fights work, even though I've been a dps up until Shadowbringers. Honestly? The best way to get over this is to jump in with both feet without hesitation, and keep doing it. I know I may mess up, and I also know that some people will be more or less accepting than others, but that's part of the learning process and part of playing an MMO. If I do mess up I just apologize, shrug it off and not repeat the same mistakes twice if I can help it. I don't think I'm doing too bad. Haven't had any complaints, anyway, which I see as a good thing.

[Awha]

This is something I've had to do while easing myself back into tanking after like, 10 years. I've done enough content in this game through the years that I generally have an idea as to how most fights work, even though I've been a dps up until Shadowbringers. Honestly? The best way to get over this is to jump in with both feet without hesitation, and keep doing it. I know I may mess up, and I also know that some people will be more or less accepting than others, but that's part of the learning process and part of playing an MMO. If I do mess up I just apologize, shrug it off and not repeat the same mistakes twice if I can help it. I don't think I'm doing too bad. Haven't had any complaints, anyway, which I see as a good thing.

Yeah generally most people do not care much either way, and for the most part those that are annoyed just vent via discord or FC chat. Have not ran into many that will even bother to bring up something unless it completely derails the entire run and cases like that are few and far.

Glad you have not let it stop you from trying new things.

[Edax]

So I started playing this game about 6 months ago with my fiance. Neither of us knew much of anything about it and that was a huge part of why I was so excited to play it.

But now, the expectation that you're supposed to look up and know everything about a dungeon before doing it is literally ruining it for me. I understand being frustrated when someone doesn't know the mechanics, trust me. But getting pissed off at someone for not knowing when it's their first time going through is so stupid.

Literally my fiance feels like they CAN'T tank a dungeon without memorizing the mechanics completely before going through because they know people who've done it before will get pissed off and yell at them for it.

I absolutely hate this bullshit. Let people learn as they go. You shouldn't have to research things before doing them.

I can only speak for myself, but I once did a run in The Keeper of the Lake as part of a roulette. I had done it many times before and was leveled synced to it so it should have been easy. Instead this was one of the most grueling experiences of FFXIV I ever had. The tank got us all killed on the first boss 4 times because he absolutely did not understand the fuel tank mechanics. Then at the last boss, after 5 more wipes I had to give up on this group because the healer could just not stay alive and this run was taking well over 75 minutes and the other DPS had ditched. There are hard limits to how ignorant some players should go into duties. This is why I take care to watch a 5 minute guide before any new run so I don't ruin it for the rest of the team.

MSQ duties are not that hard and the "let people learn as they go" flies out he window after 9 wipes. I don't have unlimited patience and the duties do have a time limit on them. For a cooperative game, a basic level of competence is expected and you should not look down on players who study a duty beforehand. They are putting in the extra effort to ensure the smoothest experience possible which is to be commended.

[SerLuke]

When I started playing there was a person in my first FC that would pressure me into watching videos before dungeons it stressed me the heck out and almost ruined the game for me, I go in blind now and things are fine =)

[whiteblade89]

I'm telling you, party finder is your friend. Just today I joined an Innocence ex blind run party finder group. It filled rather quickly. We didn't clear it, but everyone left that group ready to clear it. You'll be very surprised at the amount of like-minded people you will run into if you just A.) Take the initiative to find said people, or B.) Keep your eyes open for it. Also, none of that is a stab at the OP, it's just a suggestion to help them out.

[Kolsykol]

The most important thing to me is that people are at least trying.
I have more respect for someone who's at least trying to figure things out and someone who knows and just doesn't bother or tries to min-max when they're too bad and end up getting hit when they were trying to get that last attack in.

Tbh I never look up dungeon mechanics beforehand either and I can only remember dying to them because of that once last expansion and the healer was very rude to me and gave me shit for it, but then the healer died three times at the last boss lol.
Things is tho, that I actually asked about it before the boss pull that time.
I said that it was my first time in the dungeon and asked if there was any special mechanics and no one answered, and then the healer gave me shit for it when the healer was also quiet and didn't tell me anything...
That's kinda bullshit imo, luckily one of the dps was friendly and marked themselves just in case so that I could follow.

[Hydrium]

"Hey guys, first time running this!"

Boom, probably completely solved in less than 7 words.

[Hash_Browns]

I'm telling you, party finder is your friend. Just today I joined an Innocence ex blind run party finder group. It filled rather quickly. We didn't clear it, but everyone left that group ready to clear it. You'll be very surprised at the amount of like-minded people you will run into if you just A.) Take the initiative to find said people, or B.) Keep your eyes open for it. Also, none of that is a stab at the OP, it's just a suggestion to help them out.

I have to agree with this right here.

Did a farm learning party with a group to clear Titania. Pretty much all of us were first timers. At the end of it, we got the clear. No salt at all from anyone. Even when I got ahead of myself and cleaved the entire group, no one was salty.

Next day I joined a farm party. Zero salt again. We farmed it, a lot of people got weapons. Everyone left happy.

I can totally understand being nervous when joining new EX/Savage content, but I don't having the mindset that the Party Finder is a toxic area is the right mindset to have. People are in there trying to be helpful, learn mechanics, and have fun - just like yourself.


As far as normal dungeons go, people don't really expect anyone to know anything going into the Duty Finder. As long as you update your gear, you will golden in most poeples eyes.