Not feeling comfortable on my current data centre Chaos(EU). Thinking of transfering.

[Endeleon]

We have quite a lot of EU players on the NA servers, maybe for this reason? But yeah maybe look into NA DCs! The ping is very doable.

[AnnaRosa]

Hello fellow FFXIV players.

(...)

I am a very sensitive person and I get almost depressive when things like this happen to me. I am just looking for a relatively quiet and kind environment and I have a feeling that, because of it, Chaos does not really suit me.

My question is- Do you happen to have similar experiences on Light data centre? Is it a place where English is used most often? How does the French community look like there? Is it all the same as in Chaos and in the end it does not really matter where I play? I would also be very appreciative of a opinion of someone who used to play on both Chaos and Light.

Have been teaming with players from all servers and both EU DC since 2013/14? and that never happened to me so in advance sorry you had to run into such situation.

There are also NA players among others on EU DCs.

Since all servers have 62k active characters/players you will most likely find many players from different cultures/backgrounds, Europe is a very heterogeneous continent in terms of culture.

As previously mentioned I have been really happy in Ragnarok after did open never had that need to exchange DC and will continue, in fact feel so comfortable that will start streaming in 28th June with voice, so by my stream you will see that persons aren't that bad in their majority.

Curiously when I played WoW found a few reactions as you describe from USA players community irc was in Arcadia server? many years ago.

[Iscah]

edit: i forgot to say... don't go into the JP servers. They can be nasty towards English speaking people. In a very passive aggressive way of course.

Im on a JP data centre and there is little to no unpleasant behaviour - the rare experiences I've had with rude players seem to be English speakers. (That might be to do with the language barrier of course... but players are just unlikely to talk in dungeons, and rarely interact in public.)

Apparently at high-level play (ie. EX/Savage) some dislike English players and will ban or kick them from parties, but it's never something I've encountered in normal play.

[Reinha]

Yesterday I queued for trial roulette and after my greeting I was met with some chatter in foreign tongues and after I asked if they could use English(because it seems natural for me to use English in order to communicate properly and give ourselves tips during a duty), I was scolded by a French player from Ragnarok server, who I previously mentioned, for my request. What is more, he was acting arrogant for the rest of the trial and it was all due to my attempt to be able to speak with and understand my teammates.

I think there is a difference between wanting to communicate necessary tactics with your teammates and wanting to police the language of everything that's being said. The chatter did not prevent you from offering tips or from completing the duty. That said, players shouldn't act rude towards you even if they perceive your request as rude.

Other players' wish to understand each other is not less important than your wish to understand them and a little tolerance goes a long way especially in a game with multiple supported languages. Foreign languages are not typically used to purposefully exclude someone so there is no need to feel insecure when seeing it. If you start chatting in English most people are happy to chat back.

I haven't seen foreign chatter in a duty in the past month in the Light DC so maybe moving here would be a better match for you.

[Ceridwenae]

Hey, OP. I'm on Light, and like everyone else has said, you can run into muppets anywhere. But don't forget that if you get into a group situation like that trial you had, you can just leave it. You can ask them to kick you, and if there's no joy, just up and leave. You don't have to put up with it. You can blacklist and report for severe cases. Yes, it'll leave you feeling down, and I totally empathise. I like to spend time with my cat in such events. The cat does not judge so long as the food bowl is full. Let me state I can count on one hand the amount of times I've felt I've had to leave a group.

But like Schan says, you're not alone. Us people with anxiety and other problems know how we are, and we're happy to talk about it (or not but the feels are there at least!). There's even an FC on my server for people who have such issues, though I don't know if they're recruiting right now, however, so please don't take that as absolutely set in stone as somewhere to make a home. There may be similar FCs or linkshells on other servers too if that feels appropriate. There's certainly a discord server that's been on these pages not long ago called The Nervous Eorzean, so perhaps you should check their thread as somewhere to start if you want to group up with people who will understand you.

Also, if you do pop the way of Zodiark, look me up! I'm an anti-social anxious person it's true (think I've got about three or four accusations of thin-skinnedness from another thread just today! I know how to achieve, it's true) , but people like you will always have shelter under my roof.

[JackHatchet]

Some advice that I didn't see covered.

If you're going to impose on other people--you should be prepared for them to push-back. You asking them to speak your Language is no more different than them asking you to speak theirs. So you have to be aware that there's a 'cost' to your request. You weren't just giving advice--you were actually asking them to change their behavior to accommodate you. And while that request doesn't seem very taxing--it comes with a price regardless. And sometimes people don't want to change, and you'll have to have the backbone to deal with that kind of rebuttal if you're going to impose. Otherwise, I suggest just never impose on others. (also note, you're under no obligation to give advice or tips to other people. You can absolutely be a mute and enjoy a duty).

If you don't want to deal with confrontation--you need to either adapt to your environment--or move. So I think you're on the right track there!

--------------------

Anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general is a tough topic in gaming and otherwise. I've always found the best experiences to be finding friends and sharing in some mutual benefits. For example, I'm a loud extrovert, so I'll eagerly join into confrontation on behalf of my quieter friends. And they'll help me do my taxes or something. There's a lot in this world anyone would struggle to do solo. But teamwork is where experiences really shine! I hope your new server works for ya!

[JackHatchet]

You can ask them to kick you

Don't do this. This is a great way to get a verbal lashing from strangers. Because you're imposing on their time and energy by holding a party hostage. It's also reportable.

[Schan]

If this is some kind of attempt to make me quit my hobby and go crying in the corner of my room, because of your comment, then I am sorry, but you have miserably failed.

Now we just need more of that

I'm a lone person too. I'm hoping that you will eventually bump into people you will get along with but there needs to be a bit of effort coming from you. Just be aware that you won't click with everyone.

To reinforce what Reinha said: In Moogle I normally type in English even if people are asking questions in French. Even if that has got me labelled as a French hater lol. Rarely they reply back in English to say thanks or just merci. Don't really care. It's polite either way xD

[Ceridwenae]

Some advice that I didn't see covered.

If you're going to impose on other people--you should be prepared for them to push-back. You asking them to speak your Language is no more different than them asking you to speak theirs. So you have to be aware that there's a 'cost' to your request. You weren't just giving advice--you were actually asking them to change their behavior to accommodate you. And while that request doesn't seem very taxing--it comes with a price regardless. And sometimes people don't want to change, and you'll have to have the backbone to deal with that kind of rebuttal if you're going to impose. Otherwise, I suggest just never impose on others. (also note, you're under no obligation to give advice or tips to other people. You can absolutely be a mute and enjoy a duty).

If you don't want to deal with confrontation--you need to either adapt to your environment--or move. So I think you're on the right track there!

--------------------

Anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general is a tough topic in gaming and otherwise. I've always found the best experiences to be finding friends and sharing in some mutual benefits. For example, I'm a loud extrovert, so I'll eagerly join into confrontation on behalf of my quieter friends. And they'll help me do my taxes or something. There's a lot in this world anyone would struggle to do solo. But teamwork is where experiences really shine! I hope your new server works for ya!

Actually, yes, I agree. I was thinking when typing up my other response about the language thing - I think I could eke out some French if I had to, but it's mostly been supplanted by Norwegian by necessity. I actually had a duty with a French speaker once and I was looking at what they were writing, and whereas some words I remembered, there were key words I didn't. It's awkward, but if they're talking to me, they're going to have use a Scandinavian language (preferably Norwegian), or better yet, English. I was thinking I don't know if I'd be able to help them if they needed it (perhaps those emotes we've talked with each other about from that other thread would be useful! ).

[Kalise]

I'm on Chaos DC and I've never encountered such issues.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've been in a party where people didn't speak English (When they were talking French it was just stuff between friends who'd grouped for the duty together anyway... The wonders of being taught French at school and it actually being relevant in later life! xD)

Of course, there are occasionally not nice people, but they're easy enough to blacklist because they're few and far between (Though, you'll find them on any DC you go to. It's just a part of the internet, people will be butts because they can...)