Not feeling comfortable on my current data centre Chaos(EU). Thinking of transfering.

[JackHatchet]

Some advice that I didn't see covered.

If you're going to impose on other people--you should be prepared for them to push-back. You asking them to speak your Language is no more different than them asking you to speak theirs. So you have to be aware that there's a 'cost' to your request. You weren't just giving advice--you were actually asking them to change their behavior to accommodate you. And while that request doesn't seem very taxing--it comes with a price regardless. And sometimes people don't want to change, and you'll have to have the backbone to deal with that kind of rebuttal if you're going to impose. Otherwise, I suggest just never impose on others. (also note, you're under no obligation to give advice or tips to other people. You can absolutely be a mute and enjoy a duty).

If you don't want to deal with confrontation--you need to either adapt to your environment--or move. So I think you're on the right track there!

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Anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general is a tough topic in gaming and otherwise. I've always found the best experiences to be finding friends and sharing in some mutual benefits. For example, I'm a loud extrovert, so I'll eagerly join into confrontation on behalf of my quieter friends. And they'll help me do my taxes or something. There's a lot in this world anyone would struggle to do solo. But teamwork is where experiences really shine! I hope your new server works for ya!

[Ceridwenae]

Some advice that I didn't see covered.

If you're going to impose on other people--you should be prepared for them to push-back. You asking them to speak your Language is no more different than them asking you to speak theirs. So you have to be aware that there's a 'cost' to your request. You weren't just giving advice--you were actually asking them to change their behavior to accommodate you. And while that request doesn't seem very taxing--it comes with a price regardless. And sometimes people don't want to change, and you'll have to have the backbone to deal with that kind of rebuttal if you're going to impose. Otherwise, I suggest just never impose on others. (also note, you're under no obligation to give advice or tips to other people. You can absolutely be a mute and enjoy a duty).

If you don't want to deal with confrontation--you need to either adapt to your environment--or move. So I think you're on the right track there!

--------------------

Anxiety, depression, and mental illness in general is a tough topic in gaming and otherwise. I've always found the best experiences to be finding friends and sharing in some mutual benefits. For example, I'm a loud extrovert, so I'll eagerly join into confrontation on behalf of my quieter friends. And they'll help me do my taxes or something. There's a lot in this world anyone would struggle to do solo. But teamwork is where experiences really shine! I hope your new server works for ya!

Actually, yes, I agree. I was thinking when typing up my other response about the language thing - I think I could eke out some French if I had to, but it's mostly been supplanted by Norwegian by necessity. I actually had a duty with a French speaker once and I was looking at what they were writing, and whereas some words I remembered, there were key words I didn't. It's awkward, but if they're talking to me, they're going to have use a Scandinavian language (preferably Norwegian), or better yet, English. I was thinking I don't know if I'd be able to help them if they needed it (perhaps those emotes we've talked with each other about from that other thread would be useful! ).

[Amariel34]

Some advice that I didn't see covered.

If you're going to impose on other people--you should be prepared for them to push-back. You asking them to speak your Language is no more different than them asking you to speak theirs. So you have to be aware that there's a 'cost' to your request. You weren't just giving advice--you were actually asking them to change their behavior to accommodate you. And while that request doesn't seem very taxing--it comes with a price regardless. And sometimes people don't want to change, and you'll have to have the backbone to deal with that kind of rebuttal if you're going to impose. Otherwise, I suggest just never impose on others. (also note, you're under no obligation to give advice or tips to other people. You can absolutely be a mute and enjoy a duty).

This is something I don't understand. The OP said they ONLY had English checked in the duty finder. Which means the other people had to have had that checked as well. They had to know they would get paired with others that didn't speak the same language as them. So why not speak English if someone else in the party ONLY knows that language? They had to check it to get paired with the OP. I'm not trying to be nasty or all "everyone speak my language." I'm honestly confused and curious.

[Hugowulf]

This is something I don't understand. The OP said they ONLY had English checked in the duty finder. Which means the other people had to have had that checked as well. They had to know they would get paired with others that didn't speak the same language as them. So why not speak English if someone else in the party ONLY knows that language? They had to check it to get paired with the OP. I'm not trying to be nasty or all "everyone speak my language." I'm honestly confused and curious.

People use all languages for df to get faster ques. Granted I don’t exactly know how much faster it is.

[BothFawn]

This is something I don't understand. The OP said they ONLY had English checked in the duty finder. Which means the other people had to have had that checked as well. They had to know they would get paired with others that didn't speak the same language as them. So why not speak English if someone else in the party ONLY knows that language? They had to check it to get paired with the OP. I'm not trying to be nasty or all "everyone speak my language." I'm honestly confused and curious.

Yes, I think this is the biggest issue you pointed out. What is the point of me checking only "E" in the language settings if I am getting paired with people who cannot even say a word in English, but they checked that "E" anyway, because of the queue times.

My example in this post shows how flawed this is. It is like people become mentors, not to actually become helpful to players, but to gain that crown next to your nickname. This is too idealistic to actually work in real life.

If not for the argument that has been said here, I do not think I would be ever in need of writing this post.

[Vidu]

This is something I don't understand. The OP said they ONLY had English checked in the duty finder. Which means the other people had to have had that checked as well. They had to know they would get paired with others that didn't speak the same language as them. So why not speak English if someone else in the party ONLY knows that language? They had to check it to get paired with the OP. I'm not trying to be nasty or all "everyone speak my language." I'm honestly confused and curious.

Depending on the duty, thats not true (anymore). A while back they changed at least the roulettes to pick just anyone. So even if a french or german person had the good intention to only check D or F and not E, they could end up with the OP. (Also: at least the german version of the game encourages you to check all DF-languages if queues take to long)

There is also the matter of how well someone knows english - I had occassions when we got through a dungeon just fine with little communication (in english) and people ended up not understanding the english explantion for a boss-fight because that was beyond their limits.
And sometimes its really just easier and quicker to give an explantion in ones native language. Personally I'm making it a point to always sum up what I just said in german if any non-german-speakers are present, but if it benefits the outcome of the run I'll defenitly speak/explain in german for people who dont understand enough english to be able to understand a more or less complexe strategy.

[Amariel34]

Depending on the duty, thats not true (anymore). A while back they changed at least the roulettes to pick just anyone.

Ahhh, I didn't know this was a thing. Thank you for telling me. Explains a few things.