How to give advice

[Nixxe]

Someone might try to call it sugarcoating or hand-holding, but that doesn't change the fact that it's essential that the person maintains control over whether they want to seek out advice or not. If they don't, then you may just need to exit yourself from the situation. Or grin and bear it until the end and then leave, having gotten what you came in for.

Or kick them for playstyle differences.

[Sigma-Astra]

Entitlement attitude? The folks picking apart my posts are thin skinned. It doesn't feel great when someone challenges them and they are making sure to let me know it.

It doesn't feel great when someone talks to you the way you talk to others - but if this is the only way to communicate that to people then so be it.

That's my whole point here - there's a right way and a wrong way to communicate with people and most of the posters in here get that, the other x% have their hackles up because they viewed my tone as mean while posting mean things themselves and swearing that everyone should just have a thicker skin. You can't have it both ways. Folks don't get to be condescending and mean to others and then turn around and get their panties in a bunch when someone does it back. When that happens, that tells me they really *do* agree that the person described in the OP was being a tool and they *know* how to properly behave toward other people to get good results, but they want to feel superior and shred the OP anyway because it's the internet and we all want to have a big epeen and anonymity makes it easy to do that.

It's freaking ridiculous.

You claim that others are thin-skinned, but then tell other people not to run their mouths. You were the very first person to fire back with an antagonistic and condescending tone against Almidia's opinion and took everything that she said as someone being aggressive and rude when she wasn't. If you don't want people to snip back at you then perhaps you shouldn't insult them and call them tools.

Maybe try not throwing stones in glass houses sometimes. You can't have it both ways either. If you didn't have such a spiteful and goading tone with your second post, then no one would have cared what you posted in the first place. You don't get to be mean and disrespectful towards others, calling them entitled and tools, and then cry victim when your negativity is also met with even more negativity.

[XiXiQ]

It's completely pointless to be posting full rotations mid-run - unless you actually expect the person is going to stop, likely adjust their toolbars, get their head around the new stuff with no practice, then be perfect all while you sit about waiting? What? You don't want to sit about waiting for all that? A dose of reality is needed for some.

[JohnSeal]

Can't sympathize. I don't understand the people with your mindset who think they are above criticism and that people need to sugarcoat every little word they say. You already admit you should work on that, so instead of getting upset take the good points and learn from the situation.

Hmmm... I think that everybody need to learn new things, especially if they are not expert player but the way to approach a conversation and try to express a concept MATTERS. Teaching something or give explanations about any topic and for any kind of thing is an ability that not everybody has, you can find people with great knowledge but not able to explain themselves,resume concept or put it in a sentence without sounding annoying. That’s why you need to qualify yourself to be a teacher lol.
We didn’t read the conversation so we don’t know what this person was and how.
People are not suppose to bossy others around anyway, if you want give an advices make it sound like an advice! Start with things like:
hey,would you like an advice? Or...
there is something I would like to share with you. Or...
I would like to give you a suggestion..
Stuff like that.
He admits has to learn better but there is time and opportunity in game o no need to disappoint the OP even more :P

[MomomiMomi]

I think what surprises me the most (actually, no, this shouldn't surprise me) is that the first reaction was to come here and post about this situation, attacking the person who was giving the advice, while ignoring the other side of the problem.

OP could have taken this opportunity to come to the forums and seek the advice that they even admit they're in need of, and I'm sure they would have received said advice.

[ko_]

I think what surprises me the most (actually, no, this shouldn't surprise me) is that the first reaction was to come here and post about this situation, attacking the person who was giving the advice, while ignoring the other side of the problem.

OP could have taken this opportunity to come to the forums and seek the advice that they even admit they're in need of, and I'm sure they would have received said advice.

Because its not about the advice if we are all being honest here. Hes crossed cause he felt the person in question was rude and that's the actual issue. Least that's what I got from it. I'm sure if he didn't feel that way he wouldn't have posted what he did. Remember its not what you say. It's how you say it. Noone is going to listen to you even if you're right if you come at them incorrect.

[MomomiMomi]

Because its not about the advice if we are all being honest here. Hes crossed cause he felt the person in question was rude and that's the actual issue. Least that's what I got from it. I'm sure if he didn't feel that way he wouldn't have posted what he did. Remember its not what you say. It's how you say it. Noone is going to listen to you even if you're right if you come at them incorrect.

But he has the opportunity right now to get advice that isn't rude. Just needs to ask.

That would be a positive result of this whole situation. Instead it's just a post attacking someone.

[ko_]

But he has the opportunity right now to get advice that isn't rude. Just needs to ask.

That would be a positive result of this whole situation. Instead it's just a post attacking someone.

Maybe so. But humans get stuck in their feelings. He might've gotten the info from someone or something. Or maybe he just wanted to vent. I dunno. :c

[Reylinn]

I'm gonna come off as a jerk here but so be it.
A: You know there's a difference between a multi target rotation and single target rotation and
B: You clearly know where the forums are.
You're in the wrong for not having done any research at all to establish even the most basic of rotations in a dungeon. The guy shouldn't have to tell you at all not to use or use a skill, you should, out of courtesy know the bare minimum of using your MT versus ST skills. You may be levelling but you're at least past 50 and you haven't figured out a bare minimum MT rotation? On a BLM? 100% the guy giving you unsolicited advice was certainly tired of dragging you through said dungeon and that likely justifiably colored his/her tone. No one expects raid tier dps in dungeons, but sweet ginger deity of your choosing, you're being rude just showing up like that.

[rswfire]

I didn't insult the OP like you're trying to do to me.

Can't empathize. Sorry not sorry.
(It's really not hard to be kind to people. It costs you nothing.)