How to give advice

[ko_]

I think what surprises me the most (actually, no, this shouldn't surprise me) is that the first reaction was to come here and post about this situation, attacking the person who was giving the advice, while ignoring the other side of the problem.

OP could have taken this opportunity to come to the forums and seek the advice that they even admit they're in need of, and I'm sure they would have received said advice.

Because its not about the advice if we are all being honest here. Hes crossed cause he felt the person in question was rude and that's the actual issue. Least that's what I got from it. I'm sure if he didn't feel that way he wouldn't have posted what he did. Remember its not what you say. It's how you say it. Noone is going to listen to you even if you're right if you come at them incorrect.

[MomomiMomi]

Because its not about the advice if we are all being honest here. Hes crossed cause he felt the person in question was rude and that's the actual issue. Least that's what I got from it. I'm sure if he didn't feel that way he wouldn't have posted what he did. Remember its not what you say. It's how you say it. Noone is going to listen to you even if you're right if you come at them incorrect.

But he has the opportunity right now to get advice that isn't rude. Just needs to ask.

That would be a positive result of this whole situation. Instead it's just a post attacking someone.

[ko_]

But he has the opportunity right now to get advice that isn't rude. Just needs to ask.

That would be a positive result of this whole situation. Instead it's just a post attacking someone.

Maybe so. But humans get stuck in their feelings. He might've gotten the info from someone or something. Or maybe he just wanted to vent. I dunno. :c

[Angus]

But he has the opportunity right now to get advice that isn't rude. Just needs to ask.

That would be a positive result of this whole situation. Instead it's just a post attacking someone.

I am actively looking into improving my rotation. I've checked out the DPS forums here and on Reddit. I am upset about the situation, not attacking the player. I could name and shame, but that's a BS move.

[Reylinn]

I'm gonna come off as a jerk here but so be it.
A: You know there's a difference between a multi target rotation and single target rotation and
B: You clearly know where the forums are.
You're in the wrong for not having done any research at all to establish even the most basic of rotations in a dungeon. The guy shouldn't have to tell you at all not to use or use a skill, you should, out of courtesy know the bare minimum of using your MT versus ST skills. You may be levelling but you're at least past 50 and you haven't figured out a bare minimum MT rotation? On a BLM? 100% the guy giving you unsolicited advice was certainly tired of dragging you through said dungeon and that likely justifiably colored his/her tone. No one expects raid tier dps in dungeons, but sweet ginger deity of your choosing, you're being rude just showing up like that.

[Angus]

I'm gonna come off as a jerk here but so be it.
A: You know there's a difference between a multi target rotation and single target rotation and
B: You clearly know where the forums are.
You're in the wrong for not having done any research at all to establish even the most basic of rotations in a dungeon. The guy shouldn't have to tell you at all not to use or use a skill, you should, out of courtesy know the bare minimum of using your MT versus ST skills. You may be levelling but you're at least past 50 and you haven't figured out a bare minimum MT rotation? On a BLM? 100% the guy giving you unsolicited advice was certainly tired of dragging you through said dungeon and that likely justifiably colored his/her tone. No one expects raid tier dps in dungeons, but sweet ginger deity of your choosing, you're being rude just showing up like that.

There was no dragging going on. We were flying through very quickly.

[ManuelBravo]

All this can be solve in a simple manner. They don't ask you don't give. IF 3 wipes then you tell being your now being affected by incompetence and is ruining your entertainment value.

[MoroMurasaki]

All this can be solve in a simple manner. They don't ask you don't give. IF 3 wipes then you tell being your now being affected by incompetence and is ruining your entertainment value.

3 wipes is your line in the sand - cool, but that doesn't mean it's everyone else's. Some people might tolerate even more of their time being wasted and some less, it isn't your call.

Also waiting for someone to ask for advice is nonsense. Most people playing poorly have no idea they are doing anything wrong. If you can tell someone something that might make their time in the game more enjoyable why would you not? For fear some butthurt troll is going to make a Reddit post or an OF thread? Sorry, wouldn't matter to me.

[Bellsong]

The good: OP admits they need to practice, they'll hopefully use their frustration to grow, and the guy giving advice was willing to give a whole rotation.

The bad: OP should have practiced their AOE and single target rotations separately since they knew it was a thing before hopping into grouped content, and opening advice with "Let me school you" Is pretty rude and I can totally understand why it would get to someone.

In the end, I think everyone should practice before they hop into grouped content, it helps a ton, If you don't then be prepared for advice or criticism.
I also feel advice should be given kindly and respectfully, if you can't do that don't complain about people getting defensive or being unreceptive to it because you're a part of the problem to.

[Odstarva]

Just as I don't care to play with someone who's "good" but has a horrid, toxic attitude, I'd likewise not want to play with someone who's "bad" just because they are polite and kind. That being said, if I had to pick? I'd pick the "bad" player.

However, I'm only human however and even I have my pet peeves. When a player does something wrong, I'm always reluctant to give pointers because either A) they'll listen, thank me, and try something different (rare occurrence), B) get angry, spew anger and make the rest of the run even harder or C) ignore chat completely (my personal favorite).


I do try to be polite about it, because I know I wouldn't like it if someone yelled at me what I should or shouldn't do (and at that point, I wouldn't care either). So while I understand your frustration OP, and personally sympathize, I also think you should practice your rotations for your own sake. Black mage isn't the easiest job, but it's far from being the most difficult either - and being a job that offers little to no utility, you really need to learn how to push your damage to that next level.