Don't ask, don't tell - Relationship Thought Experiment

[Azurymber]

I mean, if I ever were interested in dating via this game, how would it make me transphobic to be angry at someone who lied to me and said they were a male, but it came out that they’re actually a female after I had invested a lot of time in a relationship that was more than just friendly? While I don’t really care about sexuality, I usually tend to consider myself heterosexual. Being angry that they lied to me is not the same as being transphobic, especially if the person isn’t actually a transgender individual but just a liar with regards to their real life gender.

If the person isn't actually trans and just lied to you, then yeah you have a right to be angry.
But if the anger is specifically about the fact that they aren't the gender you thought (and not that they lied to you about something important) that's kind of transphobic.
Because if you're only angry about their gender, you're essentially saying who they are never mattered.

Basically it's the difference between:
"I'm upset because a person I cared about was dishonest"
and
"I'm upset because this person no longer adheres to my fantasy"