Sexual harassment

[Melichoir]

snip

Maybe I was a bit blunt and tactless in the headslap, but I wasnt saying "Tough love, sucks to suck!" and not give support or help. I was attempting to illustrate that yeah, you need to be ensuring when people make mistakes that they know the lesson. Cause Trauma, often enough, distorts peoples perceptions of the situation, and can leave people fixating on the wrong aspects.


This is not only why people who get help dont just get told "Its all better and its not your fault," but help people unpack the entirety of the situation. To not only understand yeah, theyre a victim of something, but also what actually lead to the situation. Getting to that isnt easy, cause you cant just say "Welp, this is why. Youre a dummy." Getting htem to look at something and be like "Ok, this was a bad judgement call, and heres why I made that call, and what can I do with it going forward" is what is necessary. That doesnt happen overnight or instantly, Nor is it getting the person to say "Its all my fault. " Its a tricky dance between understanding what lead to what and self blame. Its the appropriate way to go rather than the current option I see far to often. The "You did nothing wrong, youre a victim, you dont have to change or evaluate your actions, the world needs to change so you dont have to."

Its a fairy tale way of looking at the world that relieves all responsibility from the victim. They dont have to learn, or change, or address something. No, its the world who has to be nicer. This doesnt help victims or potential victims.