They have a stance on it that is pretty much a looser dont ask to dont tell policy. You could for example go put a youtube video up detailing where and how to use a parser, and then go use it in game, with your name and server brazenly visible - and nothing will happen. Include something else like harassment though and you'll be in trouble. In game you can even be found saying you use a parser (at least /one/ case with someone I talked to who was reported for it) and they'll just lightly tap your wrist and say bad dog and give you a bad doggie treat. Parsing itself is not really the crime here and will mostly lead to finger waiving (from reading reddit and other spaces on how things have gone); however, you start to use the parser to be a determent to other people's experience through griefing and harassment and you'll face more significant issues. I wouldn't go test the in game parser thing, GM to GM would vary how they respond to the same exact issue but many big timers have their names behind or suggest using parsers without issue (including major raid groups). Yoshida is aware people use them, has watched raid clears that have the parser open on screen, and said they will not hunt those people down.
The issue is not the parser, the issue is what people do with it. Which is why my stance on parsers has been generally pro getting them into the game legitimately (even if its personal/mutliplayer details delay released and made anon): "we already suffer, and all the bad things people don't like about parsers would still be banned anyways if we allowed them, like harassment". Of course there is one final significant issue on the topic and that is SE doesn't have a first party parser, so you must use third party tools, and SE would have to be incredibly delicate, and specific with the detail on what a parser is in their EULA / ToS and even then it is iffy.. so their ToS / EULA is much easier to manage if they just say all third party tools are banned regardless of what it does.
So, imo, the point SE allows parsers is when they make addons to FFXIV and while I'd be okay if they ran a Apple like application process for addons to prevent DBM, I really want to see the QoL from addons - so I push for parser because I see it as the path to addons.
I would just add, because I'm not sure what you consider hand holding exactly, that giving players tools to learn their job in a safe environment (proving grounds, relevant tutorial fight, better tuned job quests, appropriately difficult content that ensures proper play is learned) is the right kind of hand holding, and should be done. Even Dark Souls is built to hand hold (to an extent), more like spiritually hand push you - the order of enemies, traps, items you obtain in the beginning are all there to teach you the basics without saying "HI I AM TUTORIAL PRESS X PLEASE". They plan when you're meant to fall on your face, and I agree falling is part of learning, but I just want to make sure this isnt a "we don't need any information, just pour the pain onto us, it'll be fine" - because for a lot of people it wont be lol.
I personally dislike poorly designed tutorials or obnoxiously long ones but cleverly designed tutorials is never a sin, and since the Souls is one of my favorites and stereotypically known to be difficult I like to reference it as they absolutely did a tutorial but a lot of the tutorial was on how they unfolded the game to you. To add to this last bit SE doesn't get the luxury of making a beautifully paced unfolding game, they're an MMORPG and people who join now or even more so a few years from now will want to be joining for the content they just got interested in. People don't go buy FFXIV (most at least) because they want to go fight Nael Van Darnus, they go buy it because OMG DID YOU SEE RED MAGE? DID YOU SEE WHAT LEGION HAS? Furthermore the few who get drawn in from all the hubhub but didnt buy the expansions will quickly be drawn that direction because A. SE wants the money and B. most of the community will either be there or be heading there. So, making Halls and ensuring people don't get lost in the torrent of information that players and SE will both want them to ride.. I strongly believe is the right kind of hand holding but if you're major gripe against hand holding is "the content doesn't teach you bcause it's face rolled" then I would agree, even if SE wants them to ride the torrent there should still be specific opportunities of falling, scrapping your knees, and being able to get back up. All of that will take clever design, or feel really clunky though.
What I wish was they went back to their job quests and made them require you to use the spell they're going to let you use outside of that quest (like an introduction quest), or help you learn to use the previous one. There are specific job quests that do actually have an element of "if you didn't turn this on, you're probably not going to win" but most are pretty face roll easy and don't actually teach you the new mechanics (I've been able to approach nearly all the ones so far in a "whatever I want" way). For example there are a few that I thought were not "easy" but at the same time didn't teach me a single new thing about my job, which I felt was a significantly lost opportunity.
Hope to see the Halls continue to be made (even into expert, savage) and be something that is both fun and educational, as well specific tests could be convenient way to help the DF. Maybe you can't queue for savage content without either unsync or by completing a specific set of Hall tests, nothing impossible but if you can't finish them then it means you're most likely going to be a detriment to your party in DF. Story mode content being a lot more lenient of course, I know some people just want to be along for the ride and that's it - doesn't really bother me, but something like the test would help divide out people who are unwilling to try harder (which is not a sin, this doesn't make them bad people) and it will separate them out in a way that reduced community interaction (you don't yell at them and then vote kick, they just don't play with you lol).
It also might be helpful to work on a flex system like WoW has and aim for three modes, or more, as well so that you get easy, normal to moderately hard, then epic hard, and that few pieces of face melt self torture. Which would help give everyone something to do even when divided out a bit, and help be a cost effective way to do it too (design a few extra mechanics, trash changes, mini bosses, and other changes that are more interesting that just a simple HP/Damage buff as the difficulty ramps up, maybe introduce optional areas and separate paths as well for the harder contents).