Well, this got a lot more response than I was expecting. Glad to see it.
Admittedly, it is comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing problems with df tanks, though I wish there was a better way to fix it. I've only been asked about speed preferences once out of a month's time frame. Most people don't even notice i'm i90 until a wipe.
But here's another question that has been bugging me ever since I heard it in a dungeon.
I really don't understand this mentality. If I cue as a healer, why is it that I should be expected to invalidate my role and deal damage? Isn't that an insult to the dps, just like a dps healing an insult to the healer? So I guess I just don't understand this mentality either, why should healers be expected to deal damage?