1) The way FFXIV fights work, it's very hard to clear them with an inexperience party. Look at Titan, you either know the fight, or you don't. You either know the rotation, or you don't, You can't expect every experience player to jump in and wait as all party members learn Titan. FFXI got a lot of shiet for being "hardcore" and "unfriendly", but since it's fight didn't rely on one hit=KO mechanics, they were much more friendly to new players and groups. The only fight I can think people can learn together is Mog Exe.

2) Just because people don't help you, it doesn't mean they don't help. People help their friends, you can't expect everyone to jump in for the first stranger they know. It's similar to in RL.

3) Because the game is easy (levelling is fast, echo buffes) this leads to a lot of awful players. Why does it matter? Because you try to help a group of people that has problems with DPS checks in iLevel 90.