Might need to fess up and realize that we're the old dogs now. Gaming has been trending towards more casual for well going on a decade and those who were playing just FFXI this entire time have pretty much only been moderately effected by it, in comparison to the huge sweeping changes that's hit the gaming culture in general.
Those who enjoy a tough challenge is in a minority, and therefore we need to recognize our position as a niche. It shouldn't be hard, we've ALWAYS been a niche audience. That hasn't change. Gaming however is popularizing and the games are changing to fit the larger audience. That means it's no longer an exclusive club just for us hardcore geeks.
Do you remember when we first encountered hard games? We whined and moaned and complained just like they did. (Oh GAWD Battle toads. And who here's beaten Contra without the Konami Code?). We need to step back and realize, hey, they're in the position now, that we were at as kids - and give a little patience when it comes their complaints.
We grew up when games where harder than this, but that doesn't mean their concerns are wrong or invalid. The market is flooded with people new to the gaming scene and have a completely different perspective on it than we do. If we're going to guide the new generation of gaming into prosperity, we need to prove as veterans that we can lead the community into a positive and inclusive environment, not a bicker like grumpy farm grannies about days gone by.
This air of continual resentment - this isn't what we as gamers desired when we were kids. We were fans feeling awkward that we couldn't share our excitement and have a conversation with the 'outside world' about our favorite hobby.
Now that our numbers as gamers are growing, we have to accept the fact that hey, we need to understand their views are different, and try to incorporate them as best as possible. Incidents like theses just show that they're not as involved as we are yet. We need to remember that our tolerance (and eventual apatite) for difficulty grew over time, and teach them that patience.
To the OP: Reassure your friends that the fight is worth it. Get them impassioned that this battle is one they will remember for a lifetime if they manage to get it together and win. Never before has a game gone through this much of a reform with this much at stake, and the fight here represents the climax of all of that. It's been a struggle for the developers to make it this far and to push through both heavy critisim and long work hours to produce both a present and a future we will grow to love?
What is a little struggle on our part to focus on video game a bit harder so we can look back on this event when it's ancient history and say "We came, we struggled, we triumphed!"
The developers can't take all the legwork in getting people motivated to play, not given how strong a mark they bear on their past failures. Help em out and tell your friends to give it another go. Push until you win and I guarantee you that you won't regret it.