Second part to this rant

Then I joined my third FC, which was made up of a small group of more casually geared players. This FC was a lot like my last one, with events, great people, etc, etc. Though after a five or so months after I joined, people started to take breaks. Then more people started to take breaks, and then I was the one of the few people logging in every few weeks. Even the FC discord because a desert, with only a few people bothering to send messages once every few days. It went quiet for a while, until the discord had more activity when people started to play another MMO, though I didn't really like the game, I decided to join just because I haven't done anything with them in a while. I should mention that I had join another FC in xiv during the deserted period of my third FC, since I'd accepted that they just weren't gonna get on anymore. Anyways, during a particularly tough dungeon in the MMO we were playing I had a complete meltdown because I wasn't preforming well enough on this one encounter, and thought they wouldn't wanna do anything with me after that, so I left the discord. After I got some sense back into my body, I tried to apologize but the leader of the third FC said that I simply wasn't meant for the discord due to me leaving and joining the discord as well as the xiv fc multiple times.

Then came the fourth FC, the one I'm apart of now. This FC that I'm apart of right now is a combination of the previous two FC's that I was apart of. What I mean by this is that there's a bunch of great people who I loved doing things with, but now I'm facing similar situations from my previous FC's. Before I get into what's going on with my fourth FC, I should state that one of my best friends (irl) got into raiding around last November, and I haven't been able to do much with him since then. Back to my fourth FC, recently the leader of the FC along with some really good friends have gotten into raiding. Not only have the pretty much only been online to raid, but they're becoming less and less active on the discord as well. Not to mention some of my other casual friends on the discord are becoming less and less active, to the point where its been almost a month since they've really said anything. Everything that's that's going on has made me gain a bizarre sense of dread that I just haven't been able to shake these past few weeks. On one had, I don't wanna worry because maybe this is just natural and I shouldn't get too upset over it. On the other, I feel like they're all getting ready to stop talking to me, and become another name on my friends list that I just look at on my friends list for 5 minutes, remembering the fun stuff we did.