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  1. #41
    Player Seraphor's Avatar
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    Feb 2018
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    4,620
    Character
    Seraphor Vhinasch
    World
    Zodiark
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 100
    Quote Originally Posted by Kolaina View Post
    You conflated them. At me. Called my part “bs” saying it’s used to justify the other. This is all on you making a mountain out of a molehill. Trying to fight multiple fronts. Point the finger at yourself
    Please, re-read my posts. I never once said your part was bs. Please clam down.
    (1)

  2. #42
    Player
    DPZ2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,614
    Character
    Dal S'ta
    World
    Gilgamesh
    Main Class
    Bard Lv 97
    Quote Originally Posted by Kolaina View Post
    But people need to grow a spine. Get thicker skin. Not every criticism is a personal attack or life ending. But the community, at least the vocal community is starting to swing their reactions in that direction. Simultaneously acting with a behaviour they claim they are fighting against
    I pity the son or daughter who is taught that "a spine" or "thicker skin" is the answer to verbal abuse. "Just ignore it, it will go away" is very poor advice.

    If one truly believes in that nonsense about "thicker skin", a negative reaction to criticism should be brushed off as well. Yet, a negative reaction to what one might consider a valid point appears to wound the critic.

    While it is true that "not every criticism is a personal attack", not every reaction to criticism is unwarranted. In the same manner one advises others to "grow a spine", perhaps they should be taking that advice to heart. Except that it is poor advice to begin with.
    (12)

  3. #43
    Player Kolaina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,070
    Character
    Hazy Dreams
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Marauder Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphor View Post
    Please, re-read my posts. I never once said your part was bs. Please clam down.
    Reread it. Found it for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphor View Post
    All of this "you can't say anything anymore" bullshit is actually a thinly veiled attempt to censor people who disagree with backwards views. It's telling 'the woke' to shut up and put up with bigotry.
    (3)

  4. #44
    Player Seraphor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    4,620
    Character
    Seraphor Vhinasch
    World
    Zodiark
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 100
    Quote Originally Posted by Kolaina View Post
    Reread it. Found it for you.
    And where did I say that's directed at you? It's actually directed at the TC, and the argument I was countering. The argument I was saying you shouldn't conflate with constructive criticism.

    If you're only arguing about constructive criticism, then that doesn't apply to you.
    Are you saying it does?

    You've misunderstood and misrepresented me, several times now, and got offended every time.
    You're right. You really do have to walk on eggshells around here.
    (2)

  5. #45
    Player Kolaina's Avatar
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    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,070
    Character
    Hazy Dreams
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Marauder Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by DPZ2 View Post
    I pity the son or daughter who is taught that "a spine" or "thicker skin" is the answer to verbal abuse. "Just ignore it, it will go away" is very poor advice.

    If one truly believes in that nonsense about "thicker skin", a negative reaction to criticism should be brushed off as well. Yet, a negative reaction to what one might consider a valid point appears to wound the critic.

    While it is true that "not every criticism is a personal attack", not every reaction to criticism is unwarranted. In the same manner one advises others to "grow a spine", perhaps they should be taking that advice to heart. Except that it is poor advice to begin with.
    Not everything is verbal abuse. That’s a key part of this. Criticism is valid and can be used to grow. Just because it hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable doesn’t equate it to abuse.

    People don’t like being made feel negative. But it’s how we handle it and what we do with it. Treat all criticism as abuse and let it consume you, then what you were criticized on will always be there. Instead learn from it. Grow from it. As per my earlier example; stop standing in the bad in duties and the team progresses easier. Or keep standing in the bad and blame the healer for your own shortcomings you aren’t mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with
    (15)
    Last edited by Kolaina; 02-06-2023 at 02:19 AM.

  6. #46
    Player Kolaina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,070
    Character
    Hazy Dreams
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Marauder Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphor View Post
    And where did I say that's directed at you? It's actually directed at the TC, and the argument I was countering. The argument I was saying you shouldn't conflate with constructive criticism.

    If you're only arguing about constructive criticism, then that doesn't apply to you.
    Are you saying it does?

    You've misunderstood and misrepresented me, several times now, and got offended every time.
    You're right. You really do have to walk on eggshells around here.
    I pulled the quote from your response to me. Swallow your pride
    (3)

  7. #47
    Player Seraphor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    4,620
    Character
    Seraphor Vhinasch
    World
    Zodiark
    Main Class
    Gunbreaker Lv 100
    Ladies and gentlemen, the true villain; Miscommunication.
    (4)

  8. #48
    Player Nyxs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    660
    Character
    Koyuki Himekawa
    World
    Malboro
    Main Class
    Conjurer Lv 52
    Quote Originally Posted by Seraphor View Post
    There's a world of difference between taking offence at someone trying to help you with constructive criticism, and taking offence at a blatantly racist joke.

    The fact is, if people don't like what you're saying, they're allowed to disagree with you.
    All of this "you can't say anything anymore" bullshit is actually a thinly veiled attempt to censor people who disagree with backwards views. It's telling 'the woke' to shut up and put up with bigotry.

    Meanwhile players who get constructive criticism for their performance, and take it badly, are likely that way because they've become used to other players being aggressive and judgemental. As I said, these are actually entirely opposite issues. Players get defensive about their performance because of aggressive, highly competitive players who try to police everything.
    They shouldn't get defensive about constructive criticism, but they shouldn't have to get defensive either.
    Nah people are snowflakes if constructive criticism upsets them that much. Also weird you say people are policing performance and you are here trying to police how people talk. You,nor anyone can control what people say so no point in trying.Perhaps try not being offended at every little thing. Shrug it off and move on. Most people in life you will have limited interactions anyways.
    (12)
    Last edited by Nyxs; 02-06-2023 at 02:21 AM.

  9. #49
    Player
    DPZ2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,614
    Character
    Dal S'ta
    World
    Gilgamesh
    Main Class
    Bard Lv 97
    Quote Originally Posted by Skiros View Post
    Back in Heavensward and Stormblood you can insult people and mock them and they'll just insult and mock you back. Banter, friendly or unfriendly, was the norm.
    Not my experience. At all. Insults and mockery are reportable offenses. That the OP did not experience a ban for such behavior probably speaks more against the players they associated with. I have observed that behaviors such as described above do tend to be the norm for First Person Shooters and MOBAs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kolaina View Post
    Not everything is verbal abuse ... Or keep standing in the bad and blaim the healer for your own shortcomings you aren’t mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with
    A classic example of ignoring the fact that what one says is verbal abuse. At least we know exactly what the writer thinks about people who do not follow their advice.
    (4)

  10. #50
    Player Kolaina's Avatar
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    Sep 2013
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    1,070
    Character
    Hazy Dreams
    World
    Balmung
    Main Class
    Marauder Lv 90
    Quote Originally Posted by DPZ2 View Post
    Not my experience. At all. Insults and mockery are reportable offenses. That the OP did not experience a ban for such behavior probably speaks more against the players they associated with. I have observed that behaviors such as described above do tend to be the norm for First Person Shooters and MOBAs.



    A classic example of ignoring the fact that what one says is verbal abuse. At least we know exactly what the writer thinks about people who do not follow their advice.
    It’s not about how they follow advice. It’s about their reaction to anything non positive. You demonstrated part of the problem. You misrepresented the comment.

    If you melt down over criticism, you aren’t equipped to deal with it.

    Had nothing to do with not following orders
    (12)

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