Is it necessary to advertise "LGBTQ+ friendly"

[Mikey_R]

I would say it is not necessary to label your FC as LGBTQA+ friendly and I would say it could potentially be a detriment, of which I will explain why.

Throughout this thread, there has been numerous times that people have joined LGBTQA+ friendly FCs, only to see hatred and insults etc. Whilst I do not remember anyone being specific as to what insults are being used, I would postulate that it did not necessarily start as LGBTQA+ hate, it just went in that direction, as is what is generally portrayed. You do not agree with me, you must be wrong on everything mentality.

By labelling your FC as LGBTQA+ friendly, you are likely to attract more people that fit into that labelling, the problem is, that is all you could potentially have in common. There could be a discussion on something completely unrelated, someone disagrees, gets the whole things of, you aren't a true LGBTQA+ speech (Not true Scotsman Fallacy) and it explodes from there.

Another line it could go down is some people get offended by the smallest things, say something they do not agree with, you offend them and they have a tantrum.

Whilst I am not part of the Alphabetti Spaghetti, I would still rather be around people who have similar interests and a similar sense of humour. By finding people that you do get on with, are friendly with etc. you are more likely to find out that, if it does come out that you fit a label, they are going to be more accepting of you.

To add to this, if someone was to come up to me and introduce themselves as 'Hey, I'm X and I am LGBT', I would instantly think, I really do not care, I just want to know what your personality is like and straight away, it is not looking good. This might be my biased opinion, but noone actually cares....until you start shoving it down our throats. People put too much importance on their gender identity and how it shapes their life when, in reality, noone really cares.

I will say again, this is mainly pure speculation, feel free to correct me if you feel the need.

[Cyd3l]

People put too much importance on their gender identity and how it shapes their life when, in reality, noone really cares.

I mean if no one cared would there even need to be a LGBTQ+ movement? It would be great if no one cared. But many people obviously do care, that's the problem.

[IkaraGreydancer]

I mean if no one cared would there even need to be a LGBTQ+ movement? It would be great if no one cared. But many people obviously do care, that's the problem.

I think having the movement is fine. I just feel that separating yourself is counter to wanting to be treated like everyone else. That's why I opt to just treat people as people. The moment I see that label being tacked on I know it's time to nope out as those groups tend to want to be treated special which again, is counter to what they're fighting for imo.
And before thats twisted I have zero issues with those people as people. Just feel they aren't doing themselves any favors

[AziraSyuren]

People put too much importance on their gender identity and how it shapes their life when, in reality, noone really cares.

The thing a lot of people don't realize is that you don't get to not make your sexuality and gender identity/expression a large part of who you are. It's one of the most flagrantly visible things about a person from the moment you realize you can develop a crush on someone. You have pretty much every societal expectation heaped upon you at once, and the only time it doesn't cause significant strain is if you're both cis and heterosexual. And the more strain you feel- the more mental bandwidth your identity takes up- the bigger a part of your personality becomes. It's like a muscle. A big, gay muscle.

Not to mention that people alter how they treat you based on your identity whether they realize it or not. Societal expectations cannot be so easily dodged. The fact that anyone in this thread could ever feel weird when a queer person is visibly queer is proof of that.

This applies even more strongly to things like race but I know in saying that I'll get a symphony of people who even more feverishly deny their implicit biases lmao

I think having the movement is fine. I just feel that separating yourself is counter to wanting to be treated like everyone else. That's why I opt to just treat people as people. The moment I see that label being tacked on I know it's time to nope out as those groups tend to want to be treated special which again, is counter to what they're fighting for imo.
And before thats twisted I have zero issues with those people as people. Just feel they aren't doing themselves any favors

Sometimes queer people don't want to be treated "normally." They just don't want to be treated worse. The two are not the same.

[IkaraGreydancer]

The thing a lot of people don't realize is that you don't get to not make your sexuality and gender identity/expression a large part of who you are. It's one of the most flagrantly visible things about a person from the moment you realize you can develop a crush on someone. You have pretty much every societal expectation heaped upon you at once, and the only time it doesn't cause significant strain is if you're both cis and heterosexual. And the more strain you feel- the more mental bandwidth your identity takes up- the bigger a part of your personality becomes. It's like a muscle. A big, gay muscle.

Not to mention that people alter how they treat you based on your identity whether they realize it or not. Societal expectations cannot be so easily dodged. The fact that anyone in this thread could ever feel weird when a queer person is visibly queer is proof of that.

This applies even more strongly to things like race but I know in saying that I'll get a symphony of people who even more feverishly deny their implicit biases lmao



Sometimes queer people don't want to be treated "normally." They just don't want to be treated worse. The two are not the same.

Define worse

[PrimordialParadox]

It's only annoying to me when you got the people shouting advertisements in chat constantly.

I personally feel like it's a waste of time. If someone needs to be validated, more power to them. As for me personally, I'm here to play a video game, not care what someone identifies as or is attracted to.

Be civil to me, and I'll be civil to you.

[Oopsy]

Quote edited to cut large portion of the text do not take out of context please.

To add to this, if someone was to come up to me and introduce themselves as \\'Hey, I\\'m X and I am LGBT\\', I would instantly think, I really do not care, I just want to know what your personality is like and straight away, it is not looking good. This might be my biased opinion, but noone actually cares....until you start shoving it down our throats. People put too much importance on their gender identity and how it shapes their life when, in reality, noone really cares.

I will say again, this is mainly pure speculation, feel free to correct me if you feel the need.

Mostly a note, not a criticism of your post. It gets my head, turning and I think furthers the conversation. What you said is mostly neutral and should not cause offense.

I don't know many that will say, " hey, I am LTGBQIA+" as their initial introduction UNLESS the activity specifically involved such topics.

But I do think it will be pretty common now to see people say "Hello, I'm Sam, and my pronouns are She/Her/They" and this would be a normal introduction that may or may not inform you that they are part of the LTGBQIA+ community.

If you were to brush off this or ignore this it could be offensive to the individuals. Depending on how you say it. Kind of like when you introduce yourself as Dr. or Pastor, these are titles that take a lot of work, you maybe proud of the effort and struggles you put into it. Having some one acknowledge it can make or break your day. Pronouns are not to dissimilar.

I'm going to shove things in these LTGBQIA+ Friendly FC potential rules and expect them to use proper nouns until their members identified their preference, maybe even in their fc comment. But we all know about when we assume...

[Coletergeist]

People put too much importance on their gender identity and how it shapes their life when, in reality, noone really cares.

You'd actually be surprised at how many people do care and get offended that such people exist. Being trans myself, I come across people that get offended at my mere existence and try to go out of their way to make a point that they don't like me. So, I mean, take that as you will. And I don't even say anything like "hey I'm trans", sometimes you can just tell, and folks come up to me asking "hey are you trans?" As if it's their personal business to ask personal information like that. It gets annoying to be treated like I'm not "normal". Like, yeah, I am...and? I really don't understand why it matters. Tbh, folks get way too curious, and then when I answer "yes" I get treated instantly different.

Edit: I'd say my gender identity is pretty important to me, although I don't go around announcing it as if it's my only personality trait. But as said, folks get too curious and go about asking personal questions, and I'm not going to straight up say that I'm not. It's nice to sometimes find groups of like-minded individuals so that I can avoid folks that would go out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.