"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Exosapien]

I did not in fact, just pointing out that it's easy to say this to "the mean guys with anger" but if you have this kind of comment on anger i do hope to see you saying the exact same thing to anyone else that brings up their feelings on anything and you'll come just like here like "Hey stop whinning control yourself like anyone else".
Something do tell me that you wont do it, because it's mean when it comes to anything that isn't anger and that's my point.

I'm confused as to why you think I'm saying you can't communicate your feelings at all. What I'm saying is that people should be emotionally mature enough to not flip their lid and start harassing other people because they were inconvenienced in a video game. At no point am I saying, "You're angry so you don't get to speak your mind whatsoever."

If you're not able to communicate when something upset you without vitriol, then that's when it is a problem.

[Izscha]

I think in most of the cases, if both parties keep talking and explaining long enough, and are both willing to listen (not just butting heads over some words and assumptions), most people will find they effectively agree at least 90%. It’s just less interesting as a discussion

I do have to say tho, after having lived for years with someone who was quite a bit more explosive than I am, that I can find it stressful and silly at the same time. Flipping your lid over every minor annoyance life throws at you is just not worth it and intrusive to others. I value self control and being considerate of others, and those experiences reaffirmed the intrinsic value of that for me.

I’m far more strict on myself there than on others tho. I’ve played mmorpg’s for over 20 years and I’ve reported someone maybe 5 times in all that time. I’ve had many more times where someone would be rather… ‘expressive’ and either I just raise an eyebrow and then just pay no attention to them, or tell them it won’t help the situation at hand, and let’s go do this or that. I’ll usually assume they’ve had a bad day or are thoroughly fed up for good reason. Still, I don’t view that as an excuse for it, simply an explanation. The fact that something is ‘human behaviour’ doesn’t automatically mean it’s great behaviour. And people can be called out on that, hopefully consider that that kind of emotional venting can interfere with someone else’s experience, and maybe take some responsibility for their behaviour there. Or not, people are free to dismiss it. But then they should also accept it can have a response in return which they might not like.

While i do agree with most of the things you do say here ppl seems to only get one face of the problem.
Insulting someone wont solve anything most of the time, sure. But if someone has to come down to that it's that others did already bring this person to the point of explosion in the first place, ruining this person experience and they're vocal about it after that.
It's easy to blame the one that do explode, but it's almost never out of the blue either, there is something that someone or several did ( or did not in most cases in this game ) that did creat this situation.
And there is a ton of possible things for that, someone dying again and again and ruining the whole thing alone, and others have to put with it and waste their time until said person finally do things right.
Idk if i'm clear about what i'm trying to say but anger doesn't come out just like that become we want to, it's mostly someone ruining your experience by their behavior.

[Izscha]

I'm confused as to why you think I'm saying you can't communicate your feelings at all. What I'm saying is that people should be emotionally mature enough to not flip their lid and start harassing other people because they were inconvenienced in a video game. At no point am I saying, "You're angry so you don't get to speak your mind whatsoever."

If you're not able to communicate when something upset you without vitriol, then that's when it is a problem.

And i do agree with that that's not my problem here, all i'm saying is since it seems so easy to you to say such thing on anger it must be the same with any other feelings.
Your "it's a video game" argument isn't relevant either, because like anger there is a ton of ppl even here that will say that they're stressed / anxious or feel sadness over a videogame, and not once i've seen someone say something like you did on anger.
If anyone do say something like "i'm nervous and i panick and die" no one will say "Wth it's a videogame dude keep your nerves up" while at the same time it seems totally ok to say such things about anger and frustrating situation, while it's the same thing, ppl feeling stuff.
That's the kind of double standards that do amuse me nothing more than that.

[Snorky]

The thing I am observing here is people mixing up the difference with being frustrated with a thing verses a person. There is very much a difference with saying 'OMFG we just wiped again WTF f@#$f@#$ then someone saying 'OMFG Timmy YOU WTF wiped us again f@#$F@#$ moron! There is very much a difference there. The first statement anyone would know the person is frustrated with the situation, the second is a insulting diatribe directed at Timmy who is probably feeling like they are now a inch high. It's okay to be frustrated it's not okay to turn Timmy into a punching bag. The rules are fine, just don't turn your fellow players into punching bags. You can explain to Timmy calmly or kick Timmy from the group or you can just leave the situation yourself. Controling one's self is a learned behavior otherwise emotionally people would all act like two year olds having tantrums. You are being asked by the rules to act maturely.

[Izscha]

The thing I am observing here is people mixing up the difference with being frustrated with a thing verses a person. There is very much a difference with saying 'OMFG we just wiped again WTF f@#$f@#$ then someone saying 'OMFG Timmy YOU WTF wiped us again f@#$F@#$ moron! There is very much a difference there. The first statement anyone would know the person is frustrated with the situation, the second is a insulting diatribe directed at Timmy who is probably feeling like they are now a inch high. It's okay to be frustrated it's not okay to turn Timmy into a punching bag. The rules are fine, just don't turn your fellow players into punching bags. You can explain to Timmy calmly or kick Timmy from the group or you can just leave the situation yourself. Controling one's self is a learned behavior otherwise emotionally people would all act like two year olds having tantrums. You are being asked by the rules to act maturely.

So timmy can ruin 7 others ppl experience alone and no one can say it ?
Seems legit, better save timmy feelings over 7 ppl sanity.

[linayar]

others are more impulsive than you (or I for that matter, unless you count 'damns' as a swear word :P), and considering that a simple 'frick' or two can apparently net you visit by a gm, I do think that posts like yours and others about how "easy" it is to not swear aren't helping and feel more like you're poking fun at people who lose their temper in some way or form, sometimes not even aimed at anyone in particular or even themselves

Being impulsive might make you swear in real life, but if it's to the point that you can't help but type it out in in-game chat, then that goes beyond being mere impulsive.

Cause TOS indirectly censor you from being to hostile. Wherever that's a good or bad thing is a different discussion for a different day.

That's always a good thing. In fact, deterrence of unwanted behaviors is one of the main purpose of any laws/rules/regulations/ToS.

I will say one of the things i find kind of weird is the fact that a game that has a built in censor has a really weird stance when it comes to “profanity.” Like….you literally have a built in censor filter that people have to actively turn off. If they turn it off is it not their fault at that point? If there’s a censor filter with a toggled feature then i think at that point some profanity should be allowed lol.

The censor does not invalidate the rule. The censor is there as extra protection for those who do not want to be exposed to certain words, but the offense can still be made even while censored.

they explicitly asked for the ability to directly disagree or even challenge someone else's viewpoint like an adult in order to settle their differences.

If that's what they're asking, then they can already do that right now, so this thread is pointless unless they're not asking for simply that.

[Exosapien]

And i do agree with that that's not my problem here, all i'm saying is since it seems so easy to you to say such thing on anger it must be the same with any other feelings.
Your "it's a video game" argument isn't relevant either, because like anger there is a ton of ppl even here that will say that they're stressed / anxious or feel sadness over a videogame, and not once i've seen someone say something like you did on anger.
If anyone do say something like "i'm nervous and i panick and die" no one will say "Wth it's a videogame dude keep your nerves up" while at the same time it seems totally ok to say such things about anger and frustrating situation, while it's the same thing, ppl feeling stuff.
That's the kind of double standards that do amuse me nothing more than that.

I have no idea how you're applying this to "other feelings besides anger" except maybe that you're talking about all negative feelings.

If you're generally, let's say, "happy" with other players then you're not inclined to lash out at them, are you?

I genuinely do not understand how it's a "double standard" to say a person's anger is their own problem.

And it is absolutely relevant to say, "it's a video game" when the real world exists and there are real problems besides someone not dpsing as hard as possible.

I guess I can clarify that I'm talking about negative feelings in general and not "just anger" are something that individual people need to work through, and having "feelings" at all does not give you the right to harass and verbally berate other people.

I really don't know why I need to clarify that, but the point is that your negative feelings are not an excuse to be a toxic person.

[Oscura]

If that's what they're asking, then they can already do that right now, so this thread is pointless unless they're not asking for simply that.

Their join date is Nov. 2021 and their viewpoint or opinion could be influenced by an outside party. We already had a thread where people assumed that the change in ToS simply means you could not disagree with anyone ever, not unless you want an infraction or a suspension.
Not everyone who has an opposing or differing viewpoint on how the game or its community works is a bad actor or someone trying to incite controversy. Instead of immediately assuming the negative in someone you literally do not know maybe try hearing them out properly first. People in this thread were so focused on telling OP they were wrong they didn't even bother to show it.

[Snorky]

So timmy can ruin 7 others ppl experience alone and no one can say it ?
Seems legit, better save timmy feelings over 7 ppl sanity.

You absolutely misses what I said about talking to Timmy calmly and you are assuming Timmy is doing it on purpose. Please read everything because you are missing the point.

[linayar]

Their join date is Nov. 2021 and their viewpoint or opinion could be influenced by an outside party. We already had a thread where people assumed that the change in ToS simply means you could not disagree with anyone ever, not unless you want an infraction or a suspension.
Not everyone who has an opposing or differing viewpoint on how the game or its community works is a bad actor or someone trying to incite controversy. Instead of immediately assuming the negative in someone you literally do not know maybe try hearing them out properly first. People in this thread were so focused on telling OP they were wrong they didn't even bother to show it.

I think you're giving the OP too much credit. They only have two posts and never bothered to clarify if people were wrong about them.

In fact, they argue against passive aggressiveness, but is entirely silent in this thread other than those two posts (unless their additional posts got deleted in a supposed purge I wasn't aware of).