"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Izscha]

I think in most of the cases, if both parties keep talking and explaining long enough, and are both willing to listen (not just butting heads over some words and assumptions), most people will find they effectively agree at least 90%. It’s just less interesting as a discussion

I do have to say tho, after having lived for years with someone who was quite a bit more explosive than I am, that I can find it stressful and silly at the same time. Flipping your lid over every minor annoyance life throws at you is just not worth it and intrusive to others. I value self control and being considerate of others, and those experiences reaffirmed the intrinsic value of that for me.

I’m far more strict on myself there than on others tho. I’ve played mmorpg’s for over 20 years and I’ve reported someone maybe 5 times in all that time. I’ve had many more times where someone would be rather… ‘expressive’ and either I just raise an eyebrow and then just pay no attention to them, or tell them it won’t help the situation at hand, and let’s go do this or that. I’ll usually assume they’ve had a bad day or are thoroughly fed up for good reason. Still, I don’t view that as an excuse for it, simply an explanation. The fact that something is ‘human behaviour’ doesn’t automatically mean it’s great behaviour. And people can be called out on that, hopefully consider that that kind of emotional venting can interfere with someone else’s experience, and maybe take some responsibility for their behaviour there. Or not, people are free to dismiss it. But then they should also accept it can have a response in return which they might not like.

While i do agree with most of the things you do say here ppl seems to only get one face of the problem.
Insulting someone wont solve anything most of the time, sure. But if someone has to come down to that it's that others did already bring this person to the point of explosion in the first place, ruining this person experience and they're vocal about it after that.
It's easy to blame the one that do explode, but it's almost never out of the blue either, there is something that someone or several did ( or did not in most cases in this game ) that did creat this situation.
And there is a ton of possible things for that, someone dying again and again and ruining the whole thing alone, and others have to put with it and waste their time until said person finally do things right.
Idk if i'm clear about what i'm trying to say but anger doesn't come out just like that become we want to, it's mostly someone ruining your experience by their behavior.

[NorthernLadMSP]

My experience with this game over the last (almost) 8 years has shown that there are multiple communities with varying levels of toxicity.

The worst are this forum and the Facebook groupies. Trolling, rude comments, insults, condescending behavior abound.

Reddit isn't as bad (IMO) as the forums and the Facebook groupies. Though, I know some people will say Reddit is worse.

Then in-game. When I compare the first group to what I actually see in-game it's like night and day. I almost never experience this toxic behavior in-game.

[MintnHoney]

I find that most players like to believe they're open and friendly, but the reality is that, while they may be open to interactions from some people, they generally aren't friendly or open enough to want to handle interactions from most people. Often times this manifests in either coldly ignoring the interaction and hoping that the scary person runs away, or in lashing out and overreacting to the source of this new interaction.

I'm kind of siding with the OP on this one, but I guess this is what an online community is these days, so perhaps this is normal and I'm just a facsimile of Daria.

[Shin96]

It's a team based game, for the most part. You have to pull your own weight; it's okay to slip up sometimes. Harassing someone is a no-go. It only toughens up both fronts.

The problem is mindsets between players. FFXIV doesn't require you to play moderately well outside of Savage, so it's easy to see why some people don't put any effort in. Raise the difficulty and you have another problem with people saying it might be too difficult. You can blame SE in this aspect for trying to bring people together in content that requires coordination. The trust system is the right step. They only need to expand on it.

As for toxicity, you have no idea what's going on in Discord servers. People might be friendly in-game but they definitely aren't in VC. The ToS does a good job of creating that illusion but ultimately reality looks vastly different.

[KizuyaKatogami]

Shhhh you must put up with everyone's bs all the time, they can run down die 10 times never do any mecanics right / waste your time talking for nonsense all the time you have no right to ever call this out or cuss at anyone.
You got better dps than both ur DPS as a tank ? Have fun dude they're enjoying the game and make your experience as great as possible and you can't say anything about it.

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

Scarily accurate lol. The worst part to me is when you have people unironically defending just…absolutely lazy behavior which is what i like to call toxic casualism and enabling. THAT imo is where most of the toxicity lies in this community and it knows no bounds. A lot of the people in this thread are the ones who support that too so i’m not surprised to see them here xD

[KizuyaKatogami]

Most people AREN'T bad at the game though, and those who do struggle rarely do content that requires high-level playing anyways. So most of the people that get called out are either not doing anything worth being tormented over or those who do are probably still learning and too nervous to ask for help. Then you have your trolls, but they're surprisingly rare in group content in this game and are usually pretty obvious.

So yes, you MUST put up with players that die repeatedly or fail to do mechanics, because they are a minority and you are an adult (probably) and this game supports players at all levels and ages.

Or you can leave the group and find a new one without being verbally abusive, cause that's an option.

I have at least a dungeon run a day where i see someone that can be written off as bad. I’m talking endgame dungeons too IE Paglthan or Matoya’s Relict. People not aoeing,red mages hard casting spells, healers not dpsing, etc etc. The things you’d expect they had learned after 3 expansions. I’ve tried being nice and explaining and all i’ve typically gotten is either attitude/snark or silence.

[TheMightyMollusk]

This thread's a roller coaster. Up and down and all around but always in the same circle.

[KizuyaKatogami]

This thread's a roller coaster. Up and down and all around but always in the same circle.

Isn’t this the forums in general tbh

[MaikoRaines]

Hmmm... this post just got massively edited.

Man... and all of my well thought arguments and retorts just faded away.

Oh well - nothing to see here. Everyone as you were!

[KizuyaKatogami]

Hmmm... this post just got massively edited.

Not surprised. It’s a bit funny to me we have so many rampant troll threads but when there’s an active ongoing fairly good discussion that’s what typically gets mod attention lmao.