"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Izscha]

Guess there is no point quoting it again then.

Agree to disagree

Btw about your "all tanks" stuff in bozja zadnor, they did think about it with the reduce HP / greatly increase damage item.
Even with full tanks you can have insane damages with the good stuff and that's the whole point of using items.

[Darthgummibear]

I've been in just about every online community there is since the original bulletin board days. I also do primarily PUG content in this game, and I can say with a fair degree of certainty that for me at least this is one of the best overall communities I've seen in a long time.

Every community out there has it's bad apples, that's just people in general. But here that's seemed like the exception, not the rule. My interactions in ffxiv have been almost 100% positive. My first week playing the game someone gave me a free mount. We talked for a bit and they seemed like a genuinely nice person. You might say "that's just one person and most people aren't like that" and I would have been inclined to agree with that if most of my interactions with people hadn't been pretty much the same. Just normal people being decent to each other and having a good time. The general sense of mirth and whimsy is really strong around here and it has been a serious breath of fresh air.

Like I alluded to earlier, even the PUG content has been more relaxing than others I've played. In dungeons or even raids, everyone always seems to be having a good time and wanting to help others learn, etc. People almost always greet each other at the beginning, with usually having some commentary along the way. When someone messes up or doesn't do well, people don't start raging at them calling them a terrible person with various epithets, etc. Quite the opposite.

Even the little things like Leap of Faith at the Golden Saucer with people cheering others on at the finish line with dances and glow sticks. It really has been a good time for me.

If all you see is negativity wherever you go, you'll be naturally drawn to it and you won't find anything else. This is coming from someone who was an extremely angry person for more than half his life. I get it, I've been there.

[Dewslam]

OP, for several years of my playtime in this game I was in the same boat as you. I felt insane! I played this game, I loved this game, but I thought I was playing a radically different game to everyone else. While everyone I knew said the game was full of cool, friendly, people and an open and fun community; I only seemed to find people who constantly harassed others, screamed about parsers and optimal strategies even in casual content while the community at large heavily gatekept pretty much anything they could, while simultaneously harassing anyone trying to make progress. It was terrible and led to me quitting the game for a long period of time, coming back; finding nothing had changed, and quitting again when I ran out of story content to do.

And then a good friend of mine started playing and I made a character on their server. And let me tell you; it was night and day. People weren't calling eachother slurs in chat! People were being friendly! People actually did fates out in the wild, and most of the party finders weren't locked and gatekept behind having max item level for even basic things, and I only saw one or two people ever even talk about parsers let alone spend an entire raid or dungeon harassing people for not parsing higher! So when server status changed and free transfers to that server were open, I took the chance, jumped ship and never looked back.

I used to play on Cactuar. You can not pay me to ever go back there. People blame Asmongold for its community, but no dawg. It was awful before, "wow refugees" are just a convenient scapegoat for people being forced to face the fact that their server has a really hostile and caustic attitude and always has.

[KizuyaKatogami]

people were having a civil discussion about various aspects of the community and experiences of it, but apparently that was worth removing? nothing that was said by anyone that took part in it was against the rules, there was no name calling, no one was insulted, people were just writing their experiences and/or observations down
though, one could certainly argue that one of the mentioned aspects of the community is either very report happy when directly mentioned or worse, the moderation wants people to not talk about it a la reddit

It is a bit funny isn’t it? That one of the very things mentioned in this thread ended up occurring? XD it’s like a fulfilled prophecy.

[Kozh]

The community is only nice to you until you go against the mainstream opinion or God forbids, be disappointed with the devs. It's more obvious in community outside the game (reddit, Twitter, etc). But I've also encountered rude players that can't take any criticism against them or the game, at all, when playing. And gods, the amount of passive-aggressiveness is way off the chart.

If I were to use example, I would say this community as a whole is like Gridania. Cheerful and peaceful on the surface, but beneath it not so much.

[Rinhi]

congrats on being the one person in the world who somehow never gets frustrated in their life?

[Krotoan]

congrats on being the one person in the world who somehow never gets frustrated in their life?

Is this directed at me?

Who says I don't get frustrated?

I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

[FusiaRain]

Is this directed at me?

Who says I don't get frustrated?

I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

Well to your edit not everyone wants kids and avoids them. So honestly its easy just avoid and do your own thing.

Also to add onto what I have said there are things that prevent that. When your having mood swings, manic episode even when you take your meds people poking at you.

Sometimes things dont enter my brain at all I type/talk with my heart often times not even knowing what I type until I press enter. When your angry rush typing is to be expect as well.

I believe this is the issue is people dont seem to realize not everyone writes, creates or types with logic or brain running it some or more emotion based which is a huge difference. Some people also are more sensitive than others.

[AlyaNimfa]

Most times you wont even know the age of people you're talking to, so no idea how one would avoid them.

Also, game is PG13, 13 year olds know more swear words than you, trust me.

[Krotoan]

Well to your edit not everyone wants kids and avoids them. So honestly its easy just avoid and do your own thing.

Not necessarily your own. I personally don't have kids either but I do have to go places where kids are, like.. outside. However kids are just one of many examples. Another being work, yet another super frustrating environment sometimes. How do you stop swearing at work? Hitting people? Lashing out in any way?

Also to add onto what I have said there are things that prevent that. When your having mood swings, manic episode even when you take your meds people poking at you.

While of course actual dysfunctions or chemical imbalances are somewhat examples but like managing anything else you should not put yourself in the situation if you understand you could "lose control".

Sometimes things dont enter my brain at all I type/talk with my heart often times not even knowing what I type until I press enter. When your angry rush typing is to be expect as well.

... maybe work on that. Self control is a skill to be exercised.

Most times you wont even know the age of people you're talking to, so no idea how one would avoid them.

Also, game is PG13, 13 year olds know more swear words than you, trust me.

Y'all are focusing too much on the kids part. It's the control part that I'm asking about. You think up your own example and I'm sure you know of at least one: "what do you do when you're in a frustrating situation where you aren't allowed or just shouldn't swear?". Or is your life entirely structured around NOT being in those situations? I'd be impressed. The point being playing FFXIV is one of those situations we've ALL put ourselves in. It's known we probably shouldn't swear in anything other than secure interactions between known quantities. Is it really that hard to limit ones self? Is the rest of everyones lives just full of outbursts and structured around never putting themselves in a place they can't do it?

I believe this is the issue is people dont seem to realize not everyone writes, creates or types with logic or brain running it some or more emotion based which is a huge difference. Some people also are more senstibe than others.

It's obvious others are going to be different. However the rules will not bend to them. You either can work within the rules and guidelines or realize what your limitations are and work to make sure they don't accidentally get you in trouble. I suppose never saying anything in "say" is a way to do it. Maybe it's the gap I have where typing is a conscious action for me and not what I grew up from a baby communicating in. I'm not sure what your last sentence is supposed to say.. sensitive? Sensible?

Either way, yes.. but just because you're more passionate or have a short temper or take words to heart easily shouldn't mean you get to skirt rules.