"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Nishira]

These types of threads always make me wonder what kind of real-world experiences / background people have had, because people on both sides of the equation always seem so extreme.

Sure, being pointlessly abusive on a video game is gross, particularly if it's just for the satisfaction of harming others.

But on the other hand, frustration is a really common thing, and you run into people venting their frustration in pretty much all aspects of daily public life. It's a fairly normal part of human interaction, so it's weird to hold people to such a bizzarely contrived high standard around it on a video game of all things.

I think in most of the cases, if both parties keep talking and explaining long enough, and are both willing to listen (not just butting heads over some words and assumptions), most people will find they effectively agree at least 90%. It’s just less interesting as a discussion

I do have to say tho, after having lived for years with someone who was quite a bit more explosive than I am, that I can find it stressful and silly at the same time. Flipping your lid over every minor annoyance life throws at you is just not worth it and intrusive to others. I value self control and being considerate of others, and those experiences reaffirmed the intrinsic value of that for me.

I’m far more strict on myself there than on others tho. I’ve played mmorpg’s for over 20 years and I’ve reported someone maybe 5 times in all that time. I’ve had many more times where someone would be rather… ‘expressive’ and either I just raise an eyebrow and then just pay no attention to them, or tell them it won’t help the situation at hand, and let’s go do this or that. I’ll usually assume they’ve had a bad day or are thoroughly fed up for good reason. Still, I don’t view that as an excuse for it, simply an explanation. The fact that something is ‘human behaviour’ doesn’t automatically mean it’s great behaviour. And people can be called out on that, hopefully consider that that kind of emotional venting can interfere with someone else’s experience, and maybe take some responsibility for their behaviour there. Or not, people are free to dismiss it. But then they should also accept it can have a response in return which they might not like.

[Izscha]

I think in most of the cases, if both parties keep talking and explaining long enough, and are both willing to listen (not just butting heads over some words and assumptions), most people will find they effectively agree at least 90%. It’s just less interesting as a discussion

I do have to say tho, after having lived for years with someone who was quite a bit more explosive than I am, that I can find it stressful and silly at the same time. Flipping your lid over every minor annoyance life throws at you is just not worth it and intrusive to others. I value self control and being considerate of others, and those experiences reaffirmed the intrinsic value of that for me.

I’m far more strict on myself there than on others tho. I’ve played mmorpg’s for over 20 years and I’ve reported someone maybe 5 times in all that time. I’ve had many more times where someone would be rather… ‘expressive’ and either I just raise an eyebrow and then just pay no attention to them, or tell them it won’t help the situation at hand, and let’s go do this or that. I’ll usually assume they’ve had a bad day or are thoroughly fed up for good reason. Still, I don’t view that as an excuse for it, simply an explanation. The fact that something is ‘human behaviour’ doesn’t automatically mean it’s great behaviour. And people can be called out on that, hopefully consider that that kind of emotional venting can interfere with someone else’s experience, and maybe take some responsibility for their behaviour there. Or not, people are free to dismiss it. But then they should also accept it can have a response in return which they might not like.

While i do agree with most of the things you do say here ppl seems to only get one face of the problem.
Insulting someone wont solve anything most of the time, sure. But if someone has to come down to that it's that others did already bring this person to the point of explosion in the first place, ruining this person experience and they're vocal about it after that.
It's easy to blame the one that do explode, but it's almost never out of the blue either, there is something that someone or several did ( or did not in most cases in this game ) that did creat this situation.
And there is a ton of possible things for that, someone dying again and again and ruining the whole thing alone, and others have to put with it and waste their time until said person finally do things right.
Idk if i'm clear about what i'm trying to say but anger doesn't come out just like that become we want to, it's mostly someone ruining your experience by their behavior.