Personally, I expect the tank to set the pace and I don't have an issue with the odd slow run in DF. Random groups are random. If you want a consistent experience you need to make friends and use PF or go with Trusts.
Stepping out of your role as healer and pulling is rude. I'm not surprised people don't respond well when you do it. I know it's common in other games (eg WoW) to treat the rest of your party like a bunch of npcs but that doesn't mean it's right.

Quote Originally Posted by SamRF View Post
Being nice and careful about other player's feelings seems to be the standard, which is a good thing, until we get to the point where everybody gets too sensitive about negligible stuff and treats everybody like some kind of entitled snowflake.
... I obviously have efficiency on my side in given situation that most other gaming communities would take my side...
The thing is, everything has a price. You say you appreciate that we have a nice community, you've noticed people are generally polite and treat others with consideration, but at the same time, you want to go around treating others with no consideration whatsoever. Of course you are getting push-back. If enough people behaved like you, our nice, friendly community would cease to exist.
Ask yourself, is it really behaving like an 'entitled snowflake' to treat others with consideration while expecting a degree of politeness in return, or would that label be more appropriate for someone who goes against the generally accepted conventions and insists that everyone ought to adapt to them?