Sexual harassment

[MoroMurasaki]

You have no right to decide if I have any understanding of it or not. I was emotionally abused once and I learned from it instead of letting myself be a victim. And no, it would not. If you treat me like dogshit then you have no right to stay in my life anymore because I value my rights as I have stated before.

The point Cass is making is that not everyone has such an easy time cutting people out of their lives. It's great that you have the confidence and determination to protect yourself, I am glad to hear it, but expecting everyone else to be able to handle situations that may be similar to yours in the same way is very narrow minded.

[Alleo]

I find it horrible that people are finding that one article funny or say that people should just get over this. This stuff does not happen over night. People that want to take advantage of you will take their time to build trust and in the case of that article that person even searched for people that are in a bad situation or suffer from depression. They are masterful in creating a situation were you are depentant on them and most of those seem to be really nice and charming. And then you make one mistake like telling them too much and suddenly its getting harder to just let go...and its even worse since you will have people that are just seeing this as creating drama or that its overblown which will put the victim in an even worse place.

Its always easy to say that people can just end it when you have enough experience or are emotional stable right now.

Edit: I thankfully dont have experience with sexual harassment but I did have someone in my old FC that tried to turn people against me with lies (even after that player left the FC) because I was not amused by his behaviour. If you have never been in such a situation you cant really know how it feels. If you are not playing with rl friends its really easy (sadly) to turn people against each other without having direct contact to that person. So what does blacklist do if they go around and slander your name? If they have friends that try to befriend you on their behalf and then tear you down? Thankfully I am a private person thus the player knew nothing about me in RL thus its was truly just centered in the game. But if you have someone as a very good friend for months, shared things with them and then they suddenly show their true face..well good luck by just black listing them.

[MoroMurasaki]

I would rather be narrow minded than pretend I like someone who treats me horribly, just so he'll stay. That's my solidified opinion. Maybe before, when I was afraid of being alone. Talking to someone who doesn't feel the same way sucks etc. Cutting people out of your life is never easy, either. It goes away eventually, though. A few years later and they'll look back on it and be like "wow, can't believe that happened." I still tell myself that and it's been a long time now.

To each their own. I think some of the women were a bit wrong in regards to decision making but past is the past. It is time to move on from it because the guy is gone, and he left in the dumbest way possible.

I think you may have misunderstood me. I'm not saying you're narrow minded for the way you've responded to abuse, I'm saying it's narrow minded to expect every other person who is abused to be able to respond the same way. There are always going to be varying circumstances/personalities and just because someone doesn't find it as easy as you do to cut ties with an abusive friend doesn't mean they in any way deserve what happened.

I understand that some of the culpability for these situations lands on the women involved for making poor choices but it sounds like this guy did everything he could to limit their ability to move away from him. He solicited nude photos and videos to use as blackmail ffs! I get that they made the dcision to give him those things and it was clearly a bad decision on their part bht as much as I may talk about protecting yourself and cutting abusive people out of your life if I was faced with the idea of someone sharing those sorts of photos of me online (especially if they could tie them to my irl identity) it would definitely give me pause at least.

The final note is that he isn't gone. Even if he caves to pressure and deletes his character there is nothing stopping him from making a new one somewhere else and continuing the same pattern. I'm sure he isn't even the only person to behave like this in the game. Rather than "move on" I hope this story gets exposure for a long time if only to serve to further drive home the idea of smart choices and caution with new relationships. Its a good message to send.

[Aerori]

I was actually worried about getting too deep into MMOs for the longest time because of an incident in an MMO when I was lured and baited into ERP when I was twelve, which, being twelve, I was naively and blissfully unaware of. My gut instinct was to run away, and I listened to it, but the fact remains that it's easy to prey on the vulnerable (something a few of the victims brought up in the article), doubly so over a screen, where you can easily hide or build a different identity. Due to the nature of MMOs, and other online games, there's not much you can do to prevent harassment other than to block the aggressor, report to the GMs, share your story, and hope for the best.

Mercifully, I have not personally experienced harassment since starting FFXIV, although I have seen a (male) friend chased off-server, and later off-game by a (female) stalker.

[Redname]

Its weird when i read about this cause im too much of a loner so people would never care enough to harrass me sexually.
It would be different maybe in some other places. But this game dont make social interaction easy unless you look for it. So i understand when people say this is no a big deal since it can be pretty impersonal sometimes.
But if it comes to the point where a relationship is developed and you give real life info...then it becomes very dangerous.
This is no a reason no to trust anyone ever again. We cant blame the victim for having "poor judgement" when choosing friends. But you have to be very careful

[Redname]

Also its kinda hypocrite how people pretend they would never masturbate or sext with someone they met in game. Yes, it can be stupid. But everyone want to feel loved and desired. And everyone feel horny.
You can do something that can affect your real life and ruin your reputation. And dont say "I will never do this" cause its more easy than you think

[Calibur097]

Just a question: Has this case been sent to the proper authorities? Is there a lawsuit against the abuser so a court of law can see the case and determine the proper judgement? If it only stays in a game news article and the case not handled by the authorities, then in my opinion, it will do little to nothing in stoping this behavior.

[BillyKaplan]

Just a question: Has this case been sent to the proper authorities? Is there a lawsuit against the abuser so a court of law can see the case and determine the proper judgement? If it only stays in a game news article and the case not handled by the authorities, then in my opinion, it will do little to nothing in stoping this behavior.

That's debatable and really up to the particular case. Oftentimes the culprit won't receive an appropriate sentence because maybe he's white, from a good upbringing, a guy to start off with, has some sob story in his past, straight A college student or what not... and the fact this was all done over the internet likely won't help.
Public shaming and the tarnishing of one's reputation are much more effective forms of punishment when it comes to that sort of thing, even if I agree that not all cases are such cut and dry when it comes to evidence like this case.

[Alleo]

Just a question: Has this case been sent to the proper authorities? Is there a lawsuit against the abuser so a court of law can see the case and determine the proper judgement? If it only stays in a game news article and the case not handled by the authorities, then in my opinion, it will do little to nothing in stoping this behavior.

I am not 100% sure but I did read on the reddit thread that maybe some of them are planning to go to a law court with this. In the end this might not be so easy depending on the evidence, the costs and so on. But maybe if they can all get together they might stand a chance.

[Kerwin]

I am not 100% sure but I did read on the reddit thread that maybe some of them are planning to go to a law court with this. In the end this might not be so easy depending on the evidence, the costs and so on. But maybe if they can all get together they might stand a chance.

There's not enough evidence and a lawyer would never take up the case. Physical hard evidence is needed. Not chat logs from a discord.