Sexual harassment

[Enla]

It make laugh to hear people talking about sexual harassment IN GAME,like,the dude being to explicit ? blacklist it,he do other caracter to do it t? tell support he will get ban.

But then if the "victim" prefer to not talk because it would start a drama,they deserve it,they have the choice to talk,and they don't.

No one /deserves/ to be abused. Period. What an absolutely disgusting sentiment.

[Gleipni]

No one /deserves/ to be abused. Period. What an absolutely disgusting sentiment.

i see that taking only 1 word of my whole sentence to make something out of context is a thing.
Imagine this,that personn did not talk,the abuser continue to abuse that personn,and then will abuse other people because no one spoke,but if someone would have speak,people would have not be harassed,the abuser would have stop,and the victim may have the satisfaction to have his abuser stoped

[Mahri]

anything linked to women gets linked to feminism

Coooooooooooooool.

Let's take the flipside.

Let's make it all politics.

Don't like political talk? Bye.

[Corfish]

i see that taking only 1 word of my whole sentence to make something out of context is a thing.
Imagine this,that personn did not talk,the abuser continue to abuse that personn,and then will abuse other people because no one spoke,but if someone would have speak,people would have not be harassed,the abuser would have stop,and the victim may have the satisfaction to have his abuser stoped

The abuser isn't some rando. It was someone they trusted, who then used that trust in order to manipulate them into doing what he wanted. He then got contact info outside of FF (thus making it much harder to just blacklist), and blackmailed many of the women, threatening to release videos and photos they had either trusted him with, or than he coerced them into making.

If you're not actually informed on what happened, why post?

[Enla]

.

I've been the victim of abuse and have had many friends who have been in similar situations to what actually was being described in the article, which wasn't some random person appearing out of the blue but a long term abuser who isolated his victims. Speaking up doesn't magically change anything and often can cause only more hardship for those involved if the accusations aren't believed. Which can only further hurt and isolate the victim and cause them to lose friendships and their self worth. So yes, it's /very/ much disgusting to me that you paint such a complex situation with such broad strokes and place all the blame on the victims for not coming forward sooner. Life isn't some TV movie where things magically get better because someone took a stand. Abuse isn't that simple and no one deserves to be subjected to it. Period.

[KaivaC]

It make laugh to hear people talking about sexual harassment IN GAME,like,the dude being to explicit ? blacklist it,he do other caracter to do it t? tell support he will get ban.

But then if the "victim" prefer to not talk because it would start a drama,they deserve it,they have the choice to talk,and they don't.

The issue with comments like these ignores the fact that yes, it does happen. The OP brought up the situation that has been the main topic of this thread, and there is nothing funny about this. Yes, these are pixels, but there are real people behind those pixels and some behavior can be very disturbing. But the thread isn’t talking about just in-game stuff. This was a situation that bled out into the real world. I dunno where you hail from, but anybody that says that anybody deserves their abuse because they wouldn’t speak up is lacking in morals and human decency.

As the poster above me said, NOBODY deserves to be abused. Not in game, not in real life. One of the victims from the original article that this was linked to, if everything presented thus far is truthful, was trapped for a period of two months, with no easy way to get back home. Because she didn’t speak up prior to this about feeling uncomfortable, she deserves that? If something terrible happened, she would deserve that because she didn’t speak up?

That’s a disgusting statement to make.

There is a reason that situations like these are still so prevalent. Some of the comments in this thread happen in real life, people who mock victims in similar situations, who say they deserve it because they didn’t speak up or involve law enforcement, but when you’re in an emotionally compromised state of mind, or don’t have that strong will that some of us seem to have, it’s not a simple task at all. Some may take years to finally build up that strength, some may never find the strength to get it. I said it earlier, real lives are being negatively affected because of the drama that occurred out of this – if law enforcement gets involved, or God forbid it continues to spiral out of control, real lives are going to be destroyed. How in the world in that amusing in any way? No matter which side is telling the actual truth, this is not an amusing situation. If anything, this should be a call to the community to take care of one another if something like this is happening in your respective servers, discords, FCs, websites, real life, etc. The article is linked to FFXIV, yes, but things like this happen more than they should in real life. There’s nothing in a situation like this that deserves somebody laughing at victims in it.

Want to know how to avoid sexual harassment? You'd be surprised to know that telling someone to fuck off and blocking them shortly after comes in handy. Don't give them time to retort or sweeten you into making you stay. It's the internet. They can't do anything to you. Don't know why it's so hard.

Not everyone is capable of being able to say no in the first place, especially if the person comes to you during a time when you (general) need emotional support and don't necessarily recognize this. It's easy to say that this is what these folks should have done when looking at this situation from the outside, but the truth is, we aren't in their exact shoes at the exact time that this happened. A running theme that I noticed with the story is that a lot of the victims were in a fragile state of mind at a time when they needed that emotional crutch.

There are sick people out there who will prey on that.

It's not so easy to break out once the abuser has sunk their claws in someone during a very emotional period of time. It's far more worse when it occurs in real life, when you physically see this abuser. Trust me...breaking free and getting out of a situation like this is harder than you would think.

[Enla]

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Except it spilled over into real life, which is outlined pretty clearly in the article?

https://www.pcgamer.com/prominent-fi...a-dozen-women/

[KaivaC]

@zale Assuming that this story is 100% true, did it not occur to you that perhaps they probably do know each other's real names and maybe some history? It's clear in at least one of the stories that there were pictures exchanged. This goes beyond gaming. Should pictures have been exchanged? Probably not. But hindsight exists because you can't take it back.

[Bourne_Endeavor]

Want to know how to avoid sexual harassment? You'd be surprised to know that telling someone to fuck off and blocking them shortly after comes in handy. Don't give them time to retort or sweeten you into making you stay. It's the internet. They can't do anything to you. Don't know why it's so hard.

Spoken like someone who has little to no understanding how emotional abuse works. People like this don't show their hand immediately. They befriend you, make you believe their own sob stories. Imagine a good friend of yours suddenly being a jerk; not overly aggressive at first, just moody and combative. Would it still be as easy to cut ties instantly? You seem to still be living in the last decade where online relationships, be they friendships or romance are somehow less impactful than real life ones.

[Enla]

Well, I mean... was still her decision to live with him in the first place after being emotionally abused lol. Not much else to it broski. I feel for her, but a lot of it could've been prevented.

Emotional abuse is often hard to see when you're in the thick of it. It took a family member actively walking out on his wife for her to finally clear through the fog and start seeing what we all could see plain as day. That same wife still refuses to see another family member as abusive in spite of being hit, emotional abused on the weekly over the phone, and having wine bottles thrown at them when they're in contact. It's /not/ that simple to get out of it, and while I very much applaud you for escaping your own abuser, you really have no right to decide what other people can and cannot take either. Everyone is different and everyone has different thresholds that can be exploited. You can criticize them all you like, but at the end of the day they /aren't you/ and you /aren't them/.