Then it should be massively obvious that making adding an even greater imbalance to that checklist does not solve the damn checklist. It's like you're acting in retaliation rather than trying to fix anything. Well NIN has a lead on rDPS in perfect comps, so let me have 400% his lead in an even more gimmicky manner -- and with no required skill, to boot -- so that parties are almost explicitly required to have me. Problem... solved?
"Selfish" damage-dealing IS as rDPS efficient as indirect contributors so long as they produce the same rDPS. It doesn't matter -- at all -- where that rDPS comes from. If a SAM would bring even just 1.5 to 1.8% of the NIN party's raid DPS more in personal damage than that NIN, he is an rDPS increase.
Reasonable external changes to a given class would include things like Brotherhood affecting ALL damage, or the previous buffs to Dragon Sight or the change to Foe Requiem and Hypercharge to affect all damage rather than (either just physical or) just magical, each allowing for greater versatility and reducing compositional niching. They do not include stripping other classes of their core skills in order to force them to take another to even have (what used to be) a full rotation. They do not include a 50% more powerful skill that is balanced around the assumption of use (due to having 3 identical appliers), which can affect up to 50% of the raid each a relatively huge portion of their damage each.
NIN remains very nearly balanced reasonable because of how little its personal damage contributes; it's no laughable amount, and certainly right up there, but the difference in having or not having Trick Attack contributes similarly small numbers. Even assuming the best possible use of Trick Attack for the given NIN's comp, its rDPS typically carries only a very small lead.
The best possible Samurai, on the other hand, generally falls behind not just the best possible BLM, but also often the best possible SMN or MNK, both of whom provide some additional 2 to 4% of their value as rDPS not included in their individual parses. That's your problem, and it doesn't mean that Samurai needs raid support; it just means it needs more rDPS, in any given way.
It's not that raid (de)buffs are inherently strong. They're only as good as the damage dealt during its windows. It's just that SAM is undertuned, just as RDM is slightly undertuned. That's it. Any inherent fault in "selfish" dps is owed only to their mention in regurgitated secondhand information. The resultant fault, however, does actually exist, but is small.
You're again badly overestimating indirect damage. You've given almost a 12% advantage to the latter through vacation time. The reality of it would be barely a week with the best possible comp and timings (Trick Attack; nominally 1.6% rDPS, closer to 1.9% in actuality). Only DRG in a double-ranged party would make your analogy sensible. And the only benefits any remotely meta job past clears have outside of the damage itself are Shadewalker and Mantra, neither of which amount to much (except for add speedburns).
They will be "top" when their DPS (yes, the sum of personal and indirect -- which for SAM would be solely pDPS) is top. No if's and's or but's. Hopefully that will never occur, seeing as there is technically less risk and therefore skill on the part of the party involved in reaching that level of contribution from an independent source than from a dependent one. But hopefully it will one day be far closer.