I havent played any of the old MMOs (being one of those filthy mid-20s people), so maybe I cant really understand what the OP is missing. Right now I dont understand why they're so salty about this game simply appealing to a larger group of people? (you have to keep in mind here that one target group is that of people playing Final Fantasy in general - and except for FFXI those are all solo-RPGs, so its no surprise this is targeted more towards someone playing their game solo)
A game that isnt appealing to a larger group of people just isnt the greatest idea from a buisness point of view anymore.

When it comes to challenges and building friendships though... the game still offers a challenge, if you wish to have one! (For example running content with minimum ilvl) If the majority doesnt want that, maybe it wasnt that great in old MMOs either? We all tend to clinge onto nostalgia and believe that things from years ago were far, far better than what we're having now - because we forget all the terrible stuff about them (playing certain childhood games again is just sad and painful today, because they cant live up to what we "remember" about them, sicne that memory is flawed).
While I wouldnt mind more difficult content for the sake of more difficult content/a challenge, we have to consider that a lot of people probably just want to enjoy the game for fun and fluff content aswell (looking at Savage clear rates and such) - why cant both be fine?
I for once am happy that the game isnt forcing me to always stick to the same group of people and gives me the CHOICE if I want to spend time with someone else right now or not.

Ultimatly, creating meaningful friendships is very possible within the game as it is - if you wish to have them. And not having the NEED to have those (and being practically screwed if you're more of a lone-wolf-type... or the other way round: if one of your group doesnt show up) is a good thing, at least for me... You cant force friendship after all.
Hardships can make AND break friendships - we used to raid in 2.X and at the end of T12 our static pretty much broke - even though it was a major challenge for us, we couldnt do it, people left and left the game and I havent talked to two of them since.