20 years of playing MMOs here, most as a tank. The rule, since the beginning, has been 'you pull it, you tank it.' If you die, hopefully you've learned that the puller is the tank.Even if you think it's wrong the dps or healer grabbed some extra mobs, it's just as wrong to stop doing your job at that point because you feel you're the important one to teach them a lesson.
I'll just leave it that. I think I made my point regardless of who agrees and who doesn't.
If a tank wants more groups, he/she will pull them, nobody else.
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