The "teaching them a lesson" by intentionally not grabbing aggro is petty behavior that tanks try to pull off. It doesn't teach anything other than showing us you can't tank.For me it's very simple you either ok with someone pulling for the tank and I am ok if the tank screws you or they don't like people being rude and pull for the tank and they won't blame the tank.
You can't expect people not to pull and at the same time expect the tank to take aggro and not teach them a lesson.
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