"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[Alleluia]

OPs like this make me feel like I've been playing an entirely different game than everyone else for the past 8 years. I can count my memorably bad experiences on 1 hand, and that's with PUGing the (slight) majority of my content. Every 6-12 months or so, there might be some FC drama btwn two or more members.

Are you sure people aren't just being passive and you are taking it as passive-aggressive b/c you're expecting a negative response? And if they are truly being passive-aggressive to the point where its annoying you, just calmly and maturely call them out? Or block and move on? No one thinks that there aren't jerks who play this game, but I think its silly to say the general impression of the community as friendly and helpful, or at least quiet and inoffensive, is a lie. In my several years of experience, it accurately describes the majority of the playerbase. Maybe you've just had a run of bad luck.

[Riastrad]

Just make new friends. If it becomes too much of a problem that people don't want to talk to you after awhile, well then the answer is in the mirror.

[TheMightyMollusk]

I tend to be standoffish and overly sarcastic, and yet I've never run into these passive-aggressive rude people that everyone complains about, or gotten a warning about it. How odd.

Maybe it's because when I feel like it, I can actually converse like a reasonable person, and if the other person doesn't reciprocate, I can just walk away and let them stew in their own salt instead of wasting my time and energy on it. Probably comes from working in retail for so long and knowing when it's not worth trying to talk to people who clearly just want drama.

[MaikoRaines]

I tend to be standoffish and overly sarcastic, and yet I've never run into these passive-aggressive rude people that everyone complains about, or gotten a warning about it. How odd.

Consider yourself lucky. Dime a dozen for me. I either ignore it or choose to engage if it bothers my itch any. Call me aggressively passive - which is a definition that doesn't exist but if it did, I assume it'd be someone who doesn't put up with garbage but doesn't go out of their way to be an insulting jerk about it.

[Krotoan]

I'm sorry you can't be mean to other people in this video game because they actually enforce the rules.

[Rinhi]

idk why people are intent on proving the OP right with their passive aggressive responses, but I guess it's supposed to be funny?

[Juzjuzz]

Yes toxicity can happen everywere. I think ppl who say "FFXIV best community ever" have either very good experiences or just have seen worse. I don't think the game as the best community ever but it's not the worse.

Saying that the community is great is either copium or really pretentious (or arrogant idk the correct word and i'm lazy) or naive. Everyone can become toxic at some point, sometimes without even noticing it.

The passive-agressive way is not always the best one, often it's worse. Getting angry and actually showing it without using insults is not impossible it's actually easy : don't insult and say what you think that's all.

The fact that ppl use passive-agressive is just another proof that this community is not a place where everyone are nice and open minded. If that's not enough how about the eternal dj discussions about tanks not pulling enough? Glare spammers? Healers who don't dps? DPS who don't even know théorie rotation? Players not listening? Players failling several times? "You Don't pay my sub"? "Don't make me loose my Time"(alias "you don't pay my sub" 2.0)? Creepy players?

If that doesn't show that listening to ppl too fast is not a good idea, idk what will.

[Alleluia]

*snip about toxicity contest*

lol I like you.

[Alleluia]

Saying that the community is great is either copium or really pretentious (or arrogant idk the correct word and i'm lazy) or naive. Everyone can become toxic at some point, sometimes without even noticing it.

Well that's a silly sentiment. How should we describe the community then? "Awful"? That's inaccurate, to say the least. "Just okay"? Also inaccurate. Its not "meh"; its good. This community is a good one, usually. And "great" and "good" are used interchangeably by many people depending on one's mood and outlook on life at the time of typing. There's absolutely nothing inaccurate with saying its great if your experience with it is such. Saying its great doesn't mean its without flaw, it means its intrinsically good and lives up to that most of the time. Something can be great without being perfect, you know.

EDIT: Reread your post. You do say you don't think the community is bad, just you're seen worse. So perhaps the issue I have with what you're saying is you and I view the connotation of "great" vs "just okay" differently?

[StriderShinryu]

As is generally the case with complaints like this, it really generally comes down to the person making the complaint. Is it possible that the majority of the player base who have mostly positive experiences and embrace the community feeling are all lying and making stuff up? Sure. Truthfully, though, it's much more likely that the person who somehow, randomly, always seems to find themselves in bad situations with negative community experiences is actually the negative common denominator. I mean, if you come into an interaction with someone you may not see eye to eye with looking to "fight and argue" then I'm not really sure what sort of response you're expecting to get. Either they'll fight back, which doesn't really solve much, or they'll choose not to directly engage and just get labelled as being "passive aggressive." "Fighting and arguing" is generally the result of a communications breakdown, not communication between two mature human beings. And, like it or not, interactions in FF14 are just that. Hyurs, Miqote and Lalafells aren't real. Eorzea isn't real. The people you interact with online are real, actual people, and should be treated that way.