I never completly understood the pronouns problems tbh. Pronouns are not here for feelings, it tells what you are born with. I think intersex ppl are different (born with both male and female part if i'm not wrong), i heard they could choose but even then it's not there to say how they should be or how ppl should see them.

Making pronouns choices avaidable is not a great idea imo. It's a complex subject and i'm sure SE doesnt want to end up fucking up, so keeping the usual female called "she" and male called "he" is okay. You can play a female character if you want a more feminine pov and a male if you want a more masculine pov. But tbh it changes almost nothing in the story and your friend has probably played at least 1 game where you can't even create your character, it's not that bad.