I need help understanding different personality types!

[JackHatchet]

Allow me to provide ample insight on the "condition" known as autism. As for my credentials - I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder, 10 years ago when I was 23 and this led me into the field of psychology and immediately obtained my Bachelors degree in the field and am now getting my Masters in counseling where I frequently use autism as the subject matter of papers. Needless to say, I have a relation to and knowledge on the condition.

First off, I want to thank you for your post. It was well worth reading!

Secondly, I had no freaking clue that autism was that common. I thought it was like a 1 in 10,000 thing. It's just never been an issue at all in my life. At least not that I'm aware of. None of my family, nor my friends have every been diagnosed with autism. So my exposure to autism (and mental-illness) has been extremely lacking. Heck, I didn't even know depression was a legitimate thing until in my 20's when I went through the learning process of why "telling them to just feel better" wasn't a viable solution. Because honestly, if you've never exposed to that stuff, and you only know normal--it can be a challenge to understand different. And unfortunately, people can be extremely critical when asking questions. As was seen in some of the earlier comments in this thread.

I guess if there's any part of me that wants to rant about something. Because it's not all about learning, although that's the part I appreciate the most. As an extreme extrovert. Anytime I want to feel accepted or participate. I eagerly force my way into a situation. And that's my normal. So it's incredibly challenging for me to comprehend people who feel neglected or left out. I know people want to feel accepted. But I've never been the kind of person to seek acceptance. Rather--I do me (being an extreme extrovert), and acceptance has just been part of the package. So when I see people wish for acceptance. I don't quite know how to give it to them. I'm willing to be anyone's friend, but they have to meet me half way. And If they don't. I just assume they're doing other things, and I let them move on.

But because I only know me. I often get stuck in the trap of just assuming people are as ambitious, social, or extroverted as me. So I don't always recognize when they need a helping hand. For example initiating conversation. If I want something--I'll just boldly blurt it out (like this forum post). I wanted to know something, and so I asked. Even though I knew people would think I was a troll. I just HAD to know, so acted the way I act.

And a lot of times I think other people will do that. And when they don't initiate. I often mistake their failure to initiate as a purposeful action. As in they chose not to initiate because they were bored, didn't care. Or just had no desire for a conversation. I struggle to remember that 'they want to, but are held back." Because man, I'll gladly extend a bridge. But I can't always read people, and I've learned the hard way too many times that imposing just makes people angry!

[Ceridwenae]

But because I only know me. I often get stuck in the trap of just assuming people are as ambitious, social, or extroverted as me. So I don't always recognize when they need a helping hand. For example initiating conversation. If I want something--I'll just boldly blurt it out (like this forum post). I wanted to know something, and so I asked. Even though I knew people would think I was a troll. I just HAD to know, so acted the way I act.

Don't make the mistake of thinking if someone is introverted (if we're using that intro vs extro analogy) that they're not social; as in, don't mistake introversion for shyness. I'm a really sociable person, one-on-one, but only if they take a heap of time to get to know me well. If I get to know people one-on-one first, and then there's grouping up - say for a dungeon if you will - it's great! I will likely have a lot of fun. Otherwise, it's just hell. I also will need solo time in amongst that, because the interactions take an emotional toll. It's hard work, it's not that I don't want to do it (though some days it is that too, because we all have those days), it just comes from a different place.

It's funny reading what you've written here, as it comes across like you have a condition too (social anxiety cue: please don't take that the wrong way!). If you take that bit where you're saying you don't recognise when someone needs a helping hand, or mistaking the lack of conversation starters for disinterest, you could flip it on its head and perhaps you'll start to understand why, say, someone like me (social anxiety), doesn't get your behaviour either. Though, it will vary from person to person.

I think it's very much worth your time to read some decent peer-reviewed medical papers on this stuff in your leisure time. A framework of understanding, if you will, a bedrock to build upon then (which is where the anecdotes you've asked for will help fill in gaps). And bugger me, this thunderstorm is ridiculous, and though I'd love to write you six pages more and gabber about social interactions all day, I should probably go. I may edit later if it feels necessary.

Quickly though! I'm proud of you for starting this topic. The more people seek to expand their knowledge in this way, the better.