I need help understanding different personality types!

[Amariel34]

I have to admit. I'm still confused! What's the difference between one person's kids, or one person's health issues? Aren't those both personal issues? I mean, kids are a big part of someone's life. They're not just a fluff topic like the weather. Is there a possible disconnect between discerning where the line is between fluff and personal?

There could very well be a disconnect. I admit I don't know all the nuances of the condition. Just what I know about myself.

[Nora_of_Mira]

I have to admit. I'm still confused! What's the difference between one person's kids, or one person's health issues? Aren't those both personal issues? I mean, kids are a big part of someone's life. They're not just a fluff topic like the weather. Is there a possible disconnect between discerning where the line is between fluff and personal?

most people that you are casually social with (coworkers, neighbors, people you run into playing this game,etc) GENERALLY don't want to know your personal details right off the bat, nor do they want to divulge their own personal details. "Kids" is generally accepted as casual small talk that MOST people can relate to, while personal health isn't. Imagine,

me: "Hows it going JackHatchet?"
you: "well I just went to doc and they said I have permanently-sweaty-knee-pits and Idk how im going to live like this"
me: "....big yikes"

the conversation between casual acquaintances (ie, not friends) pretty much ends right there. there is nothing I can really say that isnt a hard left turn from what you said that wont make everything worse.

So I would say, the line between fluff and personal is whether or not BOTH parties are willing to relate over something trivial/forgettable or confide in one another details that require more attention and understanding.

edit: i'm very socially anxious so take that how you will. Also, I love all your questions.

[xLucia]

This is just me, but it's not so much that I "drift away" from people. It's more that I really really suck at small talk. Unless I have something to say or talk about, I don't talk with people. Small talk is hard for me as most of the time I just don't care for it.

Also, in general, people with autism find conversing hard. We tend to not grasp social norms or non-verbal cues. We can ramble on and on and not realize the other person has tuned out or wants us to shut up. We tend to "over share" information. Subtlety is hard to grasp, as can be sarcasm. Our brains work and process stuff differently than those without autism, which is why we're seen as "weird." This causes us to be ostracized from others and, most of the time, bullied in school. Most of us WANT to make friends, we just find it very hard to. And that's not even including the emotional/mental stuff that can come with it, which I won't get in to.

Anyway, I'll hush up for now. Autism is different from person to person, but this is how it is for me. Others may be different.

Jup... All true. I only talk when I actually have something to say that I think is worth saying X_x I do join in with small talk when I'm in the mood for it, but I wouldn't normally start such talk myself. And don't even get me started on sarcasm. I fall for it every time because I take many things that are said literally ^^'

Edit: to the OP, it would be really hard to really understand to be honest, because everyone with autism is so different. I am one of those people who can just "drift off" as you call it. And it's not because I don't care or because I don't want to talk to anyone. But because (and I don't want to speak for anyone else with autism) for me personally, I "drift off" because I can get "sucked up" into my own little world, where all that exists is just me and whatever it is I'm doing. That "phase" can lasts for a few hours, a day, or on rare occassions, it can last weeks. Hell sometimes it's so bad that I literally forget to eat or sleep. And most of the time I don't even realise I'm doing it until someone snaps me out of it (this is based on my own experience, atleast)

I'll give you an example for this; When I was in college, in a full classroom with people chatting and laughing and what not, I was so focussed on doing my homework that eventually I completely blocked out all of that noise. At one point, my classmate, who sat next to me, was calling, and eventually sorta yelling my name like 7 times (or so she told me) And I didn't react. At all. She had to literally push my shoulder to get my attention. I don't even remember her saying my name. I "snapped out" once she touched me. And then she was like "dude, I called your name like 7 times, where were you?"

[Melichoir]

There's online resources about the condition and what to expect and how it varies. Brushing up on that can help with interacting with people who do have Autism. However, there is still a componant to it that is out of your control and isnt autism. Some people are just awkward, or use their condition as a reason not to do things that are part of more normal everyday parlance. Things like this can be helped out with them seeking therapy and what not to help address or adapt to those issues. But it relies on them actually wanting to go get help and work on themselves. If they have no desire to do so, there's not much you can do at the end of the day (without completely compromising yourself, but at that point it's not a healthy relation/interaction).

Just brush up on the info, and be open to people. And if people drift and you know you put in effort and tried to be welcoming, well, thats all there is to it. Shrug shoulders and be your own person. If they come to and try, then be open to that. Pretty simple.

[EmeraldHill]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

[Yllania]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

I'm kind of questioning the intent behind the thread, since information on the matter isn't hard to find if you even try to look.

[JackHatchet]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

It's come up quite a bit in the FFXIV community. It's amazing that you haven't noticed it yet.

I feel like it does matter when it comes to community building. To have positive and constructive discussions on such things. The problem with your solution, is that it actively discourages interactive learning. If I want to learn more about autism--the BEST way to do it is to engage in conversations with people who have autism. Reading a wiki page or a support group isn't going to give me the answers I'm looking for. Especially if I get confused and have questions. A word document isn't an interactive source of learning.

But I also think that's a bigger problem with mental-illness. For those who don't have it--to be patronized for trying to understand just seems to undermine the whole concept. If people like you are going to criticize people like me when I try to learn about mental-illness--then why try? I could just keep doing things my way. As if it matters to my life whether I learn how to handle people are different. But you know what? I'm trying, because I care. And you shouldn't be negative about that.

[SenorPatty]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

Because it's the General forum

Like, really, really, general forum


I'm pretty sure I could start a thread about Dora the Explorer and as long as people kept posting in it, it'd remain on the first page.

This is probably the first game forum I've been in that is actually moderated in such a strange fashion.

[Endeleon]

Because it's the General forum

Like, really, really, general forum


I'm pretty sure I could start a thread about Dora the Explorer and as long as people kept posting in it, it'd remain on the first page.

This is probably the first game forum I've been in that is actually moderated in such a strange fashion.

I think the english mods gave up.

[NoirRen]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

Well we at some point had "share your disability" thread and "I have mental disorder and ppl kicks me out of group content" thread on the first page at the same time.
So for some players it's a an important matter.