Is there a place for me?

[Fellgon]

It's real nice to see a fellow schizophrenic on here. ; v ;

My current medicine makes me feel extremely tired and zombie-like, but I'm on what seems like my 8209380921th try and I'm scared of trying anything new or better out of fear that it'll make me worse or the side affects (which is why I had to shuffle medications in the first place, mostly).

i changed only once, last one the med make me have a infinite hungry debuff that was making me be in bad mood, so i asked him to give me a better one that dont give me that side effect.

[Inuk9]

To be honest, if people are telling you you have AIDS, either you pissed then of or they are pure evil. (I don't believe that people are just evil out of nowhere) Maybe is something that you said or is something you do that annoy other people. I know 2 autists IRL and one of then is annoying and have a really bad attitude with others but he dont even realize that.

[Ronduwil]

Who do those troublesome women think they are, invading our games and causing drama?

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

[Akonyl]

Who do those troublesome women think they are, invading our games and causing drama?

Thank you for quoting this gem, because I wasn't about to read that whole post.

[Lauront]

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

Yes, all fine and good, but let's not pretend that this does not have negative manifestations, which is what that poster was alluding towards.

[Ronduwil]

Yes, all fine and good, but let's not pretend that this does not have negative manifestations, which is what that poster was alluding towards.

But that poster seemed to be blaming women as a whole for causing drama when he really should have been a little more introspective. There are bad actors on both sides, but most of the "drama" blamed on women, in my experience, is caused by men who have no clue as to how to interact with others. Here's a quick primer on avoiding drama.

1. Don't view your guild mates as potential love interests. Running instances together does not make you soulmates.

2. Some people, when they end a relationship, completely trash their former partner in order to rationalize that they are now better off. Don't be one of those people. If you were really better off without that person, you'd be enjoying your newfound liberty. You wouldn't feel compelled to trash them every chance you get.

3. When a guild mate ends a relationship, the last thing they need right away is a new one. Don't expect any emotional support that you provide in such trying times to blossom into a romance. In fact, providing emotional support during a break up is a great way to get friend-zoned. That's not to say that you shouldn't provide emotional support. See #1.

4. Sometimes people just click, and despite their attempts to follow rule #1, they find themselves mutually attracted and hook up anyway. Don't be jealous. Be happy for them. If you had been meant to be with one of them, you would have been with them.

5. Be courteous to your guild mates, regardless of their skill level. Most criticism between guild mates is well-intentioned, so give it and take it that way. Helpful suggestions are usually appreciated. Pointing out failures without an accompanying prescription for success is basically bullying. If your guild mates didn't understand your criticism the first time, then shouting it the next time won't help them understand it any better. If criticism is incorrect or unfair, wait until the current run finishes before calmly discussing why you think it was incorrect and/or unfair. If someone feels bullied, point out a couple of things that they're doing correctly, and encourage them to continue doing those things. I have yet to see a player who was 100% a failure unless they were intentionally trollling.

[Phenidate]

While I haven't looked into it myself, apparently a lot of autistic/Asperger's people don't like Autism Speaks and disagree with how they present it as something needing to be cured.

I hadn't had an feeling like that - but I've mostly been looking at their adult resources for working and accommodations. They've also helped me get in contact with several people - doctor, lawyers, etc. in the past.

I suppose I'll have to look at what else they have before I recommend it again though - there isn't any real cure for most disabilities like autism, just training and coping skills. Couldn't say for sure if that's a part of this though. I could link some of the other things I've looked at myself - but those are generally published papers on research and studies, which I understand not many people are interested in.

[Ryaz]

One of my FC mates has autism. He also suffers from headaches, seizures and white outs. He's also one of the best tanks I've ever had the pleasure of playing with. The people who play with him don't care about his autism, they care about his performance and attitude.

The thing is, with any kind of group content there has to be a compromise. I have a feeling if people don't want to play with you, it isnt because you have autism (people wouldn't even really know unless you told them yourself), but because of how you, as you said, rant. Kicking people for being overly negative is a pretty normal thing. We had someone in our NN swearing and cursing at SE and Yoshi-P for making him work to get MGP and triple triad cards and screaming at people for not jumping up and down to help him at that instant. He was booted from the network multiple for that reason, no other.if you're going to continue being negative and refuse to change, there isn't much we can do for you.

[Penthea]

Op's post is fairly long but manages to not give enough information that can be used to help them.

I play FFXIV everyday and want to find other freaks and misfits, people who are genuinely retarded and hated by others but with some level of skill in this game, to do content with. I've grown allergic to normal people. I can't stand them and they can't stand me. I need to be with people who are super excentric.

I'm not looking for normal people to have pity on me. I've given up trying to adapt to what others want. I can't change who I am. I'm looking for people as weird and deviant as me to actually enjoy the game with.

"Freaks" and "misfits" can be very ambiguous terms, and they certainly are in this case because you have given very little context other than autism. Do you mean to say you want to play with other autistic people? Do you mean you are actively just seeking odd people in general?

If the intention behind your post is to find a place where you can be happy, then you need to be far more specific about the sort of people you want to meet. What you may consider to be a misfit, someone else may not. Also make a list of the sort of things that interest you in the game and why, and some of your interests outside the game too. This would make it easier for like-minded people to spot you.

I see you made another similar post in your server's forum section about this, also try the following if you have not already:

General FC forum
FFXIV subreddit

I did notice in your post in the Odin forum you said "The vision I have for my group is: slow and steady learning, high top performance but no need to learn mechanics instantly, quiet, focused and loyal, no bantering or loud voices and never behaving as if we're more elite than we actually are with e-peen and flexing unnecessarily." And you also said "I guess people just dislike my personality but I don't know what to change."

I just want to make you aware that stating that you want a super quiet raid environment with no banter would be a turn off for a lot of people. I understand that you have autism and maybe this is something you need, but you had said you don't really know why people dislike you so I am pointing out that this might be something that causes some people to not want to raid with you.

If you cannot stand hearing much chit-chat due to your autism then I suggest trying to find a raid team that does not use voice chat. They are rare, but they exist. I have come across a few deaf people who have complained about difficulty in finding raid teams due to voice chat being mandatory for most. Maybe seek out these people if you would prefer to raid without using voice.

[Crystal_Raven]

O4S before my raid group told me I was AIDS and kicked me.

If people actually called you that and kicked you, I suggest you take a very good and long look at your behaviour.

Not to mention that you get kicked, "bullied" and blocked by others. You are doing something VERY wrong to say the least.