Is there a place for me?

[Ronduwil]

Who do those troublesome women think they are, invading our games and causing drama?

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

[Lauront]

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

Yes, all fine and good, but let's not pretend that this does not have negative manifestations, which is what that poster was alluding towards.

[Ronduwil]

Yes, all fine and good, but let's not pretend that this does not have negative manifestations, which is what that poster was alluding towards.

But that poster seemed to be blaming women as a whole for causing drama when he really should have been a little more introspective. There are bad actors on both sides, but most of the "drama" blamed on women, in my experience, is caused by men who have no clue as to how to interact with others. Here's a quick primer on avoiding drama.

1. Don't view your guild mates as potential love interests. Running instances together does not make you soulmates.

2. Some people, when they end a relationship, completely trash their former partner in order to rationalize that they are now better off. Don't be one of those people. If you were really better off without that person, you'd be enjoying your newfound liberty. You wouldn't feel compelled to trash them every chance you get.

3. When a guild mate ends a relationship, the last thing they need right away is a new one. Don't expect any emotional support that you provide in such trying times to blossom into a romance. In fact, providing emotional support during a break up is a great way to get friend-zoned. That's not to say that you shouldn't provide emotional support. See #1.

4. Sometimes people just click, and despite their attempts to follow rule #1, they find themselves mutually attracted and hook up anyway. Don't be jealous. Be happy for them. If you had been meant to be with one of them, you would have been with them.

5. Be courteous to your guild mates, regardless of their skill level. Most criticism between guild mates is well-intentioned, so give it and take it that way. Helpful suggestions are usually appreciated. Pointing out failures without an accompanying prescription for success is basically bullying. If your guild mates didn't understand your criticism the first time, then shouting it the next time won't help them understand it any better. If criticism is incorrect or unfair, wait until the current run finishes before calmly discussing why you think it was incorrect and/or unfair. If someone feels bullied, point out a couple of things that they're doing correctly, and encourage them to continue doing those things. I have yet to see a player who was 100% a failure unless they were intentionally trollling.