Is there a place for me?

[Averax]

So like, do you also shop at hot topic to get away from normal people?

OP needs a lot more help than people on a video game internet forum can give them.

[Krotoan]

... is this thread still full of people trying to "fix" OP? They're not asking for that. They're asking for people to play with who won't try to change them and where to find those people.

[Vahlnir]

... is this thread still full of people trying to "fix" OP? They're not asking for that. They're asking for people to play with who won't try to change them and where to find those people.

People want to help them figure out how to find a group to do things with. At the same time, the OP doesn't seem to understand why this will be difficult, yet for the rest of us it is plain to see by their various responses riddled with denial and misinformation. They don't want to acknowledge it either. So people are trying to take another approach that is, imo, way more important to all of this than simply "keep looking!" No one is necessarily asking them to change. At the end of the day, people are who they are. They are simply suggesting that they could fit in a bit better if they made a concession or two.

[Krotoan]

People want to help them figure out how to find a group to do things with. At the same time, the OP doesn't seem to understand why this will be difficult, yet for the rest of us it is plain to see by their various responses riddled with denial and misinformation. They don't want to acknowledge it either. So people are trying to take another approach that is, imo, way more important to all of this than simply "keep looking!" No one is necessarily asking them to change. At the end of the day, people are who they are. They are simply suggesting that they could fit in a bit better if they made a concession or two.

I totally understand people are trying to be helpful in any way they can and that's admirable. But the OP specifically said they were unwilling to change which conceding personal standards kinda is. ... saying anything probably isn't going to help either but I figured I'd try.

[Vahlnir]

I totally understand people are trying to be helpful in any way they can and that's admirable. But the OP specifically said they were unwilling to change which conceding personal standards kinda is. ... saying anything probably isn't going to help either but I figured I'd try.

You're probably right, but people still want to try. I have said my piece and I hope the OP finds a group to do things with. I just hope that they come to realize that it's going to be fairly difficult if they keep to their current path.

[SenorPatty]

Reminds me back in SWTOR, we'd have guys like OP too in our core group but only after we were done progging new raids completely. We would just put them on mute and let them do their thing because we just wanted the weekly clears and all that matters in clears are knowing mechs and knowing your rotation.

But yeah, prog phase? Nah, extreme behavior wouldn't work with our group because at the very least, you'd need to be someone who can discuss strats, revisions and improvements calmly and/or civilly. It's okay if once in a while you get heated, that's normal but like consistently? Oof.

[MrKusakabe]

I'm a misfit. A completely socially retarded freak. I have autism. I've been kicked from raid groups, bullied and blocked from what I really want to do in this game, which is PvE, simply because I don't harmonize with normal people.

I end up alone and bitter.

I will never be able to behave the way others want but I'm not a low performing player on average and I do have a server 3rd on O4S before my raid group told me I was AIDS and kicked me.

I play FFXIV everyday and want to find other freaks and misfits, people who are genuinely retarded and hated by others but with some level of skill in this game, to do content with. I've grown allergic to normal people. I can't stand them and they can't stand me. I need to be with people who are super excentric.

I'm not looking for normal people to have pity on me. I've given up trying to adapt to what others want. I can't change who I am. I'm looking for people as weird and deviant as me to actually enjoy the game with.

My antennaes are having trouble to detect whether this is a trollpost or absolut sincere, as I have got to know how depression and autism finds an outlet in such wording. So even if I might fall for a bait, I give you a honest answer:

It will be tough. I have been in the same spot as you from 2013 to 2015, when I quitted. Heck, I even tried "suicide by cop", eh, "suicide by GM" - I went AFK often on purpose until being locked up into Mordion Gaol... I lost everything: I riled up my FC, my linkshells. But it was not intentional, and that feel really drove me mad even further, a typical spiral.

The problem is that FF14 seem to attract many people with a thinner skin, and many females, that often cause a different set of drama as we, the mostly masculine gamer community, know. So you, with a short temper and more aggressive language, are usually on the very opposite of that group. You are the lighter, and these people are the dry straw. This won't go well often.

Now, 4 years later, I love this game so much and appreciate the community for what it is. I want harmony, I want people that don't make fun of you after a Lalafell wedding (I cried my eyes out a week ago^^). After 9 years of League of Legends, where you can find the people you look for in SoloQ with a 90% chance and some nice, but still superficial GW2 relationship, FF14 is balm on my soul. My life changed and I am glad, even proud, to be here. Self-destructive people - may it be on purpose or by a mental state - are simply not welcomed for that reason. While in the aforementioned community of League of Legends, it would fit perfectly as no-one really cares about each other. This community does care. And reacts accordingly to a mindset that you describe. As said, I went trough that.

I can't give you any advice apart from "It will be difficult", but then, I am also just honest. My mom has given me some depression streaks so I know verbal expressions and behaviour are like walking on eggshells, but it will be tough for you. There are many anxiety-related FCs out there that create their safe space and run stuff together with like-minded people, but they appear to be on the other side of the spectrum of what you are looking for. You must think of you as magnets bouncing off of each other. Because if you approach like-minded people, they will be irritated in return I guess. I am not even sure how you think such a difficult player-to-player relationship is going to work when you all are equally excentric....

In real life, I have a weird mix of "dark casual", "gothic" and "aristocrat" going on with lace and jabot (that's why I love the Red Mage duellist attire so much!). I listen to country music, doo-wop and neo-classic while wearing jabot and leather trench coats, I have no smartphone despite being born 1990, I don't care about big boobs and enjoy education. You won't find me on social media as I hate those. I had a strong depression in 2008 with fantasies of getting myself electrocuted at our local 20,000V powerline (no fence around it!). I know how it feels, and how it is to be a misfit. Still I am a department manager, people invite me to parties, my boss likes my performance at work and I've been promoted last yera - and I live a good life. Being a misfit can make you stronger once you realize it's not an obstacle; you have certain abilities "normal" people don't have - for me it happened to be like that at least. Maybe you realize one day that many of "the others" are in the wrong and lack your speciality (you maybe haven't figured your personal strength coming from autism yet!), and you are just living out your very self, your very own soul. As all sentien beings are supposed to instead of being mainstream sheeples and cookie-cutters...


Sincerely,

[Skivvy]

. The problem is that FF14 seem to attract many people with a thinner skin, and many females, that often cause a different set of drama as we, the mostly masculine gamer community, know.

Who do those troublesome women think they are, invading our games and causing drama?

[Ronduwil]

Who do those troublesome women think they are, invading our games and causing drama?

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

[Lauront]

To put it in more realistic terms, men, especially younger men, are relatively oblivious to others' feelings. We often say the most ignorant things because we lack the capacity to perceive them as such. Women, on the other hand, are emotional prodigies. The typical thirteen year old girl, for example, has about the same level of emotional intelligence as I did at age 25. Many of us eventually acquire a rudimentary sense of empathy. Some of us remain stubbornly and proudly ignorant for life. These are the people who typically accuse women of "causing drama." That's because they're blissfully ignorant of their own part in precipitating said drama. Please forgive him, for he knows not of what he speaks.

Yes, all fine and good, but let's not pretend that this does not have negative manifestations, which is what that poster was alluding towards.