Things to think about before you call someone "Bad"

[Tint]

You really are friendly and tactful when approaching someone? Cool. But know many aren't. So do not act surprised when people raise the alarm when someone approaches to tell them they could play differently a 10th time when the other 9 times they got insulted and mocked.

You can be the most friendly person ever, but you are still shaming that underperforming person in front of the rest of the party.

[JohnSpawnVFX]

You can be the most friendly person ever, but you are still shaming that underperforming person in front of the rest of the party.

We can always go back to kicking them silently and letting them continue to underperform, since pointing that out is "shaming" them.

Sigh if we tell them about their shortcomings, we're mean and shaming them. If we kick silently, we're mean because we're not giving them a chance to improve. If we tell them about their shortcomings and kick them, we're mean and toxic raider filth.

Then you don't want us to say people here like to coddle bad gameplay...

[Tint]

We can always go back to kicking them silently and letting them continue to underperform, since pointing that out is "shaming" them.

Sigh if we tell them about their shortcomings, we're mean and shaming them. If we kick silently, we're mean because we're not giving them a chance to improve. If we tell them about their shortcomings and kick them, we're mean and toxic raider filth.

Then you don't want us to say people here like to coddle bad gameplay...

Yes you are correct, there is no right way to handle this. It all depends on the person in question, how they react to being called out for bad gemplay in front of the party. It's understandable when they go into their defense in that moment instead of taking the advice and maybe try to improve. Understandable, since they are bascially backed into a corner, but maybe not the right move in that situation ^^

But actually improving is nothing you can do from one moment to the next one aynway, so I think the best way is to apologise for the bad gameplay (deescalation) and either somehow finish the content / getting carried or leaving the party / getting kicked.


But all I wanted was to point out why people sometimes become toxic over a friendly advice with good intentions: Pointing with the finger at them in front of other people can be enough for that.

[Penthea]

Yes you are correct, there is no right way to handle this.

There is a right way. You can tell someone they're underperforming without being rude about it. There is a massive difference between "sorry we have to kick you, your dps is too low" and "l2p noob dps".

If a person can't handle any criticism even when it's politely given then that's something they need to address. Not the people dishing out the criticism. Just because you don't like what someone said doesn't mean what they said was wrong or unprovoked.

But all I wanted was to point out why people sometimes become toxic over a friendly advice with good intentions: Pointing with the finger at them in front of other people can be enough for that.

Unfortunately without being able to send tells in instances the only way to inform someone as to why they're getting kicked is to say it in front of everyone. Some hate getting kicked silently, some hate being publicly criticised...you can't please everyone. The best you can do is be polite.

[Deceptus]

There is a right way. You can tell someone they're underperforming without being rude about it. There is a massive difference between "sorry we have to kick you, your dps is too low" and "l2p noob dps".

Then they report you because the only reason you can tell if someone's DPS is too low is if you're using a parser which is against the TOS.

[van_arn]

Then they report you because the only reason you can tell if someone's DPS is too low is if you're using a parser which is against the TOS.

Nobody uses parsers, though. They just sense this by feeling it.

[Vahlnir]

Then they report you because the only reason you can tell if someone's DPS is too low is if you're using a parser which is against the TOS.

If you're paying attention (and you know the class mechanics yourself) it's not hard to see when someone isn't doing what they're supposed to, and that's without actual numbers. It's made more clear by how slow something is dying.