I'm a bit in the same boat OP.

I guess, for me, this community just doesn't 'fit' with me.

I’ve played MMO’s since around 2005, my first one was Guild Wars 1, later in 2007 I also started with World of Warcraft (those 2 are still my most played games), I have also played RIFT, Star Wars: the old Republic, The Elder Scrolls Online & Bless Online.
Destiny 1, Destiny 2 & Tom Clancy’s The Division as well (I list those separate as they are not like the traditional MMO’s but they all are online only and you also have ‘raids’ where everybody has to do certain mechanics).

In all these games I’ve had friends and/or clan or guilds. I was constantly doing group content and had a lot of fun and made some good friends.
Back in Destiny 1 I was an organizer for one of our EU divisions (we were a big international clan), I leaded 5 runs / week, sometimes joined on other organizers their run if they needed a hand and whenever there were no run or anything happening I would get frequent PM’s from people If I wanted to do stuff together.
In the other games I’ve never been in any organizer or leading position (apart from Guild Wars 1 were I was an officer in a pretty successful guild), but there was always something going on that I could join or ask others if they want to do content X or if they want to help me with something. Or just to play together just so I wasn’t alone.

I joined FF XIV pretty late, my account is back from 2013 somewhere but I only played the first month back then, then I played again for a bit in 2016 where I made a new character on the Moogle server and then finally since early 2017 until like a month ago.
Despite my weeb side being hyped by SB I really didn’t liked it and found the story so much better in HW. I finished up the HW stuff just before the EA of SB.
The start of SB was quite ok but soon after everything I was hyped about in SB was a total disaster like the swimming and diving …

Anyway, I’ve constantly read how an amazing community FF XIV has and how toxic WoW was and other game communities are but for me it’s been the total opposite. I’ve played WoW for 11 years and I have over 15K hours in it (that’s only my main) and I have 3 people on my ignore list.
I have around 2.3K hours in FF XIV and I have 80 people on my ignore list … and I cleaned it out 4 times already.

I’ve tried to join multiple FC’s but they’ve always failed, I was in a pretty decent one back at start of SB and we also raided together for like 2 weeks, but we had a few people wo were underperforming and showed no signs of improving themselves, drama started some people stopped raiding and some left and eventually the leader also stopped. The majority of my time I stayed FC-less.
I have always had a hard time finding ‘decent’ (or maybe I should say fitting) people to do stuff with, most of the people I’ve seen are the ones hanging around in Limsa 24/7 taking thousands of screenshots daily post on twitter and say ‘look how cute I am’.
That’s all nice and all but I don’t really care about that stuff.

I have one friend in the game, I’ve played with her for many months, she’s actually a bit in the same boat as me also being alone all the time in the game. And It’s because of her that I still played for so many months and we still talk on Discord.

Other ‘friends’ I had always ended up in drama fests while I’m not here for any of that. Other ‘friends’ I had were those that play 24/7 now I have a full time job, 3 hour daily commute and evening school so I can’t really play 24/7 so those end up leaving you instantly even though I’m only 4+ hours every evening.
And then lastly the other ‘friends’ I had were people I met on this very forum, they all looked nice and friendly in the beginning but not so long after they stop talking and remove you out of the blue.

So one could say I’m the ‘weird’ one and the one at fault because it happens with everybody?
But then what about the communities on those other games were I have friends and people to play with?
So it got me thinking, these communities are all very different from each other and this one just doesn’t ‘fit’ with me.
Only thing I ever wanted was a handful of friends I can do in game stuff with and some others were I can talk with or both combined even. I was wrong to think I’d find that here.
At least that’s how I think about it now.
No tl;dr version, Sorry it’s so long, I actually was surprised myself too when I finished writing this but I want to give some background info and I’ve always been bad at keeping it short.
For those who read it well nice of you. For those that didn’t well nothing I guess?
I wrote this in word so I hope my editing will not go to waste when I copy paste this.

Extra note: I obviously have a sub currently, otherwise I wouldn’t been able to talk. My account was inactive actually but when there was 1 day left on the house demolisher I got an extra month and logged back in so my house wouldn’t be gone. Not sure what I want to do with that later but at the very least I’ll check out the new expansion.