Sexual harassment

[Lissandra]

i am wearing a bikini and some rubber boots on my lalafell when i am fishing, and i noticed that people /pet me waay more often in that outfit compared to when i am wearing more clothes >.>

however, i never felt actually harassed. people stopped when i did an angry emote, nobody followed me or did more than the /pet emote...

The random emote people use on me most is /pet and I'm not even a Lalafell (albeit I was originally a Lalafell). I always see it as a head pat of sorts. *shrugs*

[Penthea]

Sexual harassment in mmorpg. Lol. Just blacklist ppl and stop being spoiled snowflake.

This attitude is exactly why victims are slow to come forward.

Blacklisting doesn't always work. Some are unfortunate enough to come across those who make alts, buy extra accounts, make several skype/discord accounts, and use their manipulative ways to get personal information such as email addresses from mutual friends. It can be especially difficult to get a player to leave you alone if the majority of their abuse was done outside the game. GM's can't act on information that isn't from the game.

Though it seems that this sort of harassment is typically done by guys, girls sometimes do it too. I encountered two who did to friends of mine, one who engaged in the stalker behaviour in the above paragraph. Harassment doesn't discriminate. It could happen to anyone.

I have personally experienced harassment completely based on my gender. There have been many incidents in which players who barely acknowledged my existence did a 180 when they found out I'm female, and bombarded me with offers of help, gifts, often inappropriate compliments and very probing conversation. Others were more clever. They slowly crept into being my friend before using claims of depression as a tool to get me to pity them enough to be their girlfriend.

These attempts never worked on me long enough to trap me but that didn't mean I found them comical or easy to deal with. Most guys just dropped the act and left me alone as soon as they saw it wasn't working, but a few felt the need to get revenge on me for daring to say no which usually resulted in rumours and exclusion. It's not easy to dispel rumours when you're the newer person in a community. The pressure of feeling disliked got to me enough that I left.

As a result of this I am very guarded around players I don't know, which is very frustrating because it can give the wrong impression and I'm painfully aware of it when it does. However the flip side is my experiences lent me knowledge in how to spot the signs of predatory and anti-social behaviour, and how to deal with it. Which is very handy to have as a fc leader.

All this being said the majority of player encounters in my very long mmo career have been mundane or good experiences. But I'd be lying if I said I went more than a year without encountering or hearing about someone who preys on other people. It is sadly pretty common.

[RiyahArp]

Most often, by the time you realize you're in an abusive relationship it's far too late for that. Again, it's part of how those people operate and why it's so hard to break away from those situations.

A lot of talk like this is well meaning, but it strips agency from people. I mean, you can set up boundaries and tender trust accordingly. There are things you can do not to be vulnerable; they aren't foolproof, but nothing is. And sometimes it means being strong enough to say no when they break those boundaries. It's just...well, there are a lot of lonely and hurting people out there who jump at the chance, oblivious to their own safety. You have to be careful who you give intimacy to.

[Anatha]

There's uppity kitties and then there's the sort of thing that happened in that article.

One is harmless and easily dismissed. The other is criminal. Literally.

[Mahri]

I got a great idea.

Don't sexually harass.

Also,

This attitude is exactly why victims are slow to come forward.

Blacklisting doesn't always work. Some are unfortunate enough to come across those who make alts, buy extra accounts, make several skype/discord accounts, and use their manipulative ways to get personal information such as email addresses from mutual friends. It can be especially difficult to get a player to leave you alone if the majority of their abuse was done outside the game. GM's can't act on information that isn't from the game.

Though it seems that this sort of harassment is typically done by guys, girls sometimes do it too. I encountered two who did to friends of mine, one who engaged in the stalker behaviour in the above paragraph. Harassment doesn't discriminate. It could happen to anyone.

I have personally experienced harassment completely based on my gender. There have been many incidents in which players who barely acknowledged my existence did a 180 when they found out I'm female, and bombarded me with offers of help, gifts, often inappropriate compliments and very probing conversation. Others were more clever. They slowly crept into being my friend before using claims of depression as a tool to get me to pity them enough to be their girlfriend.

These attempts never worked on me long enough to trap me but that didn't mean I found them comical or easy to deal with. Most guys just dropped the act and left me alone as soon as they saw it wasn't working, but a few felt the need to get revenge on me for daring to say no which usually resulted in rumours and exclusion. It's not easy to dispel rumours when you're the newer person in a community. The pressure of feeling disliked got to me enough that I left.

As a result of this I am very guarded around players I don't know, which is very frustrating because it can give the wrong impression and I'm painfully aware of it when it does. However the flip side is my experiences lent me knowledge in how to spot the signs of predatory and anti-social behaviour, and how to deal with it. Which is very handy to have as a fc leader.

All this being said the majority of player encounters in my very long mmo career have been mundane or good experiences. But I'd be lying if I said I went more than a year without encountering or hearing about someone who preys on other people. It is sadly pretty common.

Just smash your eyeballs into this post for as long as it takes for you to get her point.

[SilverObi]

Dude is a dirtbag. Boys and girls remember internet safety tips from the 90's and don't give too much of your personal information or life to someone you don't even know what they look like. What I can't quite understand is why this guy is being spun as having actual prominence or some kind of power to wield, the xiv fan community ain't Hollywood. Someone is making you uncomfortable or worse, break it off. I know I know, easier said than done in real life but most of these interactions seemed to be online only unless I'm missing something.

And don't give out nudes to folks if there's the slightest chance you wouldn't want the risk of them being spread around. No victim-blaming here, just trying to wrap my head around how this could happen multiple times with this guy. Maybe I'm too tired to properly get how important this guy was to be able to slide into so many DMs and be allowed to wreak so much personal havoc.

edit: and I'm confused mainly on how this is something the xiv community responsible for or at risk from? Let the court of public opinion destroy this guy as he rightly deserves but leave xiv out of it I guess? He doesn't ACTUALLY represent the game.

[LadyKairi]

This may not be a dating simulator, but you are playing with REAL people. Sometimes bonds happen outside of the game. Heck, there are many couples that get married irl after meeting within the game. Just because 14 is a game, does not mean the people behind the screens are any less real. It’s just like... say... a bar. Not the best place to search for a SO, but it’s not gonna NOT happen. Sometimes people click. You can’t blame people for wanting a special someone. To not be lonely. Not my place to judge how people choose to date. If you are manipulating and abusing people, however, that is beyond not okay. Multiple people now damaged, and for what? That crap lasts. I was abused several years ago before I got sick of how my ex treated me. Strong in the fact that I won’t take him back, but the emotional and esteem issues are still there and have not improved. Even after being with someone who is an amazing partner for years.

[Jhett_Magnum]

I reviewed the article and their statements over on reddit. I mean how does this guy hold power for so long and none of the staff members knew about it. I think that they did, and the only reason we’re finding out about it now is because they got caught.

No statement released by the staff that they didn’t know about it.

The Editor in Chief has relinquished certain social media accounts to specific members of the team, of which, wont give to the rest of team.

To me this kind of bullshit isn’t to be trusted at all. They’ve been a team for a couple years now, people! I feel bad for the women hurt by this and yet these guys rather focus on rebuilding a new magazine full of corrupt individuals.

MODS NEED TO CONDUCT A FULL INVESTAGATION ON ALL THE PARTIES INVOLVED.

[Lucinda]

I’m utterly disappointed at many of the responses here. People from the outside praise FF’s community, but looking at this thread... need I say more?

If someone makes sexual comments about my character, that isn’t harassment. However, it’s plain weird and a simple block + report can do the trick. However, in a lot of cases, especially if you know the person and have trusted them, that simply is not enough. On a previous game I played, although it wasn’t sexual harassment, I’ve felt first hand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of hate and jeering. The thing is, these people know how to turn others against you, and it then turns into the plague. People who don’t even know you can jump on the bandwagon, creating an unpleasant experience.

In this case, sure. Especially so early on into a relationship, it’s probably not the best of ideas to go on Skype sending nudes for example. Nevertheless that doesn’t mean it warrants creepy behaviour. These people are manipulative, and use people as pawns. It most certainly is an issue that the community ought to be aware of.

Block and report does NOT work all the time. If a person has the means to make your life a misery, they can and they will.

Lastly may I just add that online relationships in a game are perfectly valid. I met my bf of one year and a bit on the previous game I played. We’ve met multiple times.

[AriaFairchild]

If most of the communication is done on Discord, SE can't really do a damn thing. The only thing they can do is get proper authority to involve.