Sad experiences of a newbie

[Vidu]

OP never answered the single most important question asked so far. Did you buy a level boost potion?

They didnt - no characters at 60.

[Gemina]

They didnt - no characters at 60.

And at level 53, he/she spent enough time in dungeons to likely take repeated lashings for not DPSing. Generally speaking, a healer who keeps the group up while DPSing isn't going to catch much gripe from either camp of players who dislike healers DPSing, or those who get upset when they don't. The thing is, if you go into continuous DF instances, and you're adamant about not DPSing, you put yourself on a collision course to encounter these players at one point or another. It's an inevitable truth, I'm afraid.

It doesn't excuse the rotten behavior. Of course not. And healers who or new and/or new to an instance should be given a lot of breathing room. While it remains true that healer DPS is not required to clear content; it is also the cold hard truth that if you don't want to catch flack in PUGs, you have to play at a level that doesn't give anyone anything to complain about. For a healer, this does indeed mean that you DPS during your downtime, and also not tunnel vision the tank/group to an early grave.

Hopefully the OP has a change of heart, and can find a helpful FC with members willing to run content. It can be very satisfying weaving in offensive spells while healing. A new player should be as open-minded as they expect other people to be. It just allows for more enjoyment of the game.

[Sebazy]

Going by what the OP was saying, I don't think the DPS was the problem here.

[Ilyrian]

And at level 53, he/she spent enough time in dungeons to likely take repeated lashings for not DPSing.

Really? That has not been my experience - well ever. Pre-60 I have never seen a healer be called out for not dpsing - even not being particularly great at the actual healing part is more likely than not to be tolerated given that the player is new.
If a Sprout healer can keep a tank up and the party healed that's more than enough in leveling dungeons and I would say the vast majority of the player base is just happy their DPS queue finally popped.

The OP had given no actual information about the situation other than he's had bad experiences healing in DF.
6 pages of arguing about speculation is mad - and achieves nothing.
Maybe he's not good at it. People do get mad at healers - it's noticeable when they aren't great; that comes with the gig.
Maybe he's taking more time to adjust to it and will get better - too many maybes to be having an argument on his behalf.
@OP I think you must have had some very bad luck if your first impressions of FFXIV were so negative - that it a shame. As other have said, perhaps you just need a bit more time to adjust to the style of healing - it is very different from other MMOs (as you said you've had experience before).
We all need players willing to heal so hopefully you'll stick it out and feel comfortable: when it clicks it clicks. If it clicks.

[RaijinSupreme]

Ehh.

I want to feel sorry that you had to experience that, but I’ve always felt that you have to have some tough skin to play or do anything that involves the internet.

.Listen. These people do not know you. They have no clue who you actually are or what you are capable of. A few nasty words from irrelevant people that you will most likely never run into again or will even remember your name should not keep you from doing what you love or interested in.

I understand that it can be frustrating to experience this negativity, but you have to remember that you are still new and is still warranted to make mistakes, even if the people you’re playing with doesn’t think so. The only thought, word, and opinion that matters at the end of the day is YOURS.

If you want to let the game go, then so be it, but just consider the reason why you’re leaving, and ask yourself if it’s really worth it to leave a game you’ve admitted to enjoying simply because of the words of irrelevant strangers.

Sad to see you go, and will await your return

[Rinuko]

Healer dps can be helpful and I do encourage it (ABC, Always Be Casting,) but it sounds like they took it too much to heart. I do recommend seeing where you can fit in at least dots and try to go from there, but if you can't it's not that huge of a concern. If you have access to the Novice Network, you can ask for assistance too in there, since people are willing to help. You'll get the hang of how it works on this game eventually, I'll admit healers getting room to dps is a throw off to people used to traditional "If I stop casting heals he dies."

Eh, i managed to level my healers with little to no dps. It helps yes but if people complain on low DPS i just leave the group

[Rakiria]

*shrugs* Not enough evidence to know whether it was warranted or not.

The only thing warranting hurling abuse towards a new player is them being generally rude and abusive towards the other players. In any other case you have to be patient with new players and should offer them help with any mistakes they make, as they have to learn from some place. And attacking them over their mistakes without explaining why they should do it differently doesn't count as help.

[Minako_Nightsong]

I never had any real problems in pick up groups until I started to level my white mage up in Stormblood. I had leveled two dps beforehand.

Bardam's Mettle is when it started and it continued until I hit 70. We were all still in leveling gear and many had no experience in the dungeons yet tanks would try to pull three groups at a time and dps started boss fights while tanks were still watching cutscenes. I also still messed up sometimes. (this was week 3)

I was called some of the worse things you can imagine over very silly and minor things and told more than once how my mother or myself should commit suicide for things like forgetting to use protect. I don't care if I am wiping every pull or not communicating well nobody deserves to be talked to like this even on the internet. This community was no better or worse than WoW but even there I didn't get the kind of hate I did on my whm 65-70 so I totally sympathize with the OP on this. When the time came for me to level my paladin I almost didn't bother but I ended up having none of these social problems despite making a lot more mistakes. I also noticed the healers in my groups still got jumped on for any little thing when I raised my other jobs.

As for the dpsing issue. I did very little as I leveled up and this was one thing Nobody ever complained about. I also do not care if the healer does a lot of dps in my leveling parties. I think you should start to weave that in once you are level capped and you start doing trials and 8/24 man raids. I never thought I could learn to do that but now it's second nature to do so and it really helps out.

[Gemina]

Really? That has not been my experience - well ever.

Does your experience mirror the OP's? i.e. getting to level 53 on a healer without ever using offensive spells in PUGs? If the answer is yes, then I humbly acknowledge your experience relatable to the OP's. If it is no, then your experience reflects my own. I also haven't witnessed healers being harassed in PUGs. A large part of that is because I heal most content I do, but even when I leave the role to others it still hasn't been a problem. The biggest issue I've encountered and also endured is tank harassment. Be that is it may, just because you or I haven't experienced it ourselves, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

The OP had given no actual information about the situation other than he's had bad experiences healing in DF.
6 pages of arguing about speculation is mad - and achieves nothing.
Maybe he's not good at it. People do get mad at healers - it's noticeable when they aren't great; that comes with the gig.
Maybe he's taking more time to adjust to it and will get better - too many maybes to be having an argument on his behalf.

Exactly. So take it at face value. That is all we can do. We know that the OP has a heals-only mentality and it has lead to problems when he/she enters group content. And the DF thread is all you need to know about the endless randomness within PUGs. You give too much leeway; it's not only noticeable when a healer isn't great, they are under such a microscopic view that all of their derps stand out like a sore thumb.

I wanna tell the OP that it's just bad luck as well, but I see no reason to advise that he/she continue to rely on chance rather than taking a hold of the situation on their own.

[Stabby-Chan]

Have you ever thought of the idea that perhaps it may not be all you, but the attitude and expectation of the server you are in?
What you can do is try a different server with a new character and check out the people there... Scout around a bit.
Healing isn't the easiest job out there...

If people start using abusive language towards you, report them.
You shouldn't have to deal with that in any game.

Also, you have the option to leave the map as well to get away from the abusive language.
Sure, I like to finish what I start. However, if people prove to me that they do not deserve my presence by treating me in sub-human format...
I leave and let them sweat a bit.

The 30 minutes away helps cool me down too...
Just do not let the community ruin the game for you.