Harassment everywhere

[TaranTatsuuchi]

...

I was just a scrub Arcanist who thought he was doing 'okay'. I just picked up the game and I knew the base of my class: DoTs. I entered Tam-Tara for the 2nd or 3rd time, I thought I was doing well, until the other DPS said: 'DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DOT SUMMONER????' Just like that, in full caps. I ignored it as I read Summoner. I didn' t reply. Because I had no idea what a Summoner was and I thought it was meant to one of the other party members. Then the DPS called me out again, this time with my name. It was then that I replied by telling him I wasn't a Summoner but an Arcanist. He told me that they were one and the same thing, all again in caps.
At the end of the small, but on his side heated conversation he just told me to 'git gud' and learn how to play Arcanist/Summoner.

This got me thinking. I was annoyed, but not by the fact that he called me bad or that he said I had to learn to do my job better, because I agreed. I was new to the game and had barely any experience with it. But he, he who called me out to DoT better, he must know, right? And thus I asked. I asked him how to DoT as Arcanist. But it was met with 'git gud' and 'scrub' as answers, Which did not help me in the slightest. At the end of the dungeon I almost wanted to quit the game because I thought I did everything wrong. And just because one person couldn't tell me how to do it, even though he knew. But he decided to make fun of me instead of helping me out.

So, I logged out that day. The day after I told my boyfriend what happened and he explained what that person meant: Apply all your DoTs to all enemies. Not just on one enemy at a time, which is what I did in the first place. And that made sense to me. That random player didn't take the 1-3 minutes he needed to explain such a simple thing.

In the end, that experience made me a better player, knowing how it is when someone tells you to 'git gud' but doesn't help any way beyond that. And in order to prevent that, I try my best to explain the core of a job to a new player when they ask for it, or when I see someone not catching the basics quite yet. I know it can't be learned over the course of a dungeon run, but as long as I see improvements, how small they may be, after I've given advice, I know I did something good.

That person was unquestionably harassing.
That type of person should be reported.

They were not interested in helping you improve, only talking down to you.

...
But more so than once I've been greeted by the ''You don't pay my sub'' and ''I play how I want'' sentences. Although I do agree that I don't pay their sub and I can't force them to change their playstyle to my liking.
...

That argument is rather silly...

"You don't pay my sub!"
Well, that person doesn't pay the sub of the other # members in the party either...
And there's more of them.

[AxlStream]

I mean players aren't obligated to tell you how to play your class. He pointed out something he felt was lacking but that doesn't put him under any obligation to tell you how to fix it. Like I can yell at someone to use their turn signals while driving, I won't tell em how to use them though.

[Kinazu]

That argument is rather silly...

"You don't pay my sub!"
Well, that person doesn't pay the sub of the other # members in the party either...
And there's more of them.

And I agree, it's not a good argument, or not even an arguement at all. But that doesn't mean that we can force them to play how we want, even though I sometimes think it may make a lot of dungeon runs and raids go smoother.

I mean players aren't obligated to tell you how to play your class. He pointed out something he felt was lacking but that doesn't put him under any obligation to tell you how to fix it. Like I can yell at someone to use their turn signals while driving, I won't tell em how to use them though.

True. But in that instance I asked for advice. Which was met with rudeness.
As for your example, I imagine someone who can drive legally knows how to use the signals but just refuses to use them. I, in this case, didn't know what he meant at all and was looking for an explenation. Which I suppose is a bit different.

People are by no means forced to tell you how to play a certain job, but if someone asks you to explain it after you told them they did a bad job and you just laugh at them or make fun of them; Who's doing something wrong at that point? The confused new player, or the one who knows but refuses to tell?

[RiyahArp]

What I read on the forums: Lots of toxic and harassment topics.
What I see in game: Lots of nice and friendly people.

I don't see that at all. People barely even talk in game. I can count on one hand the times I got advice or even help; I learned everything about my jobs myself through third party sites or powering through it. Most instances are silent. People assume way too much about this community in game, probably cause they havent played MMOs long to see the difference.

[HoodRat]

I can count on one hand the times I got advice or even help; I learned everything about my jobs myself through third party sites or powering through it.

I can't remember a single time where someone didn't give a rude response or flat out ignore advice or help from me when they didn't explicitly ask for it to begin with.

[LordTiberiusRex]

The amount of times I see harassment thrown around as a case, you'd think FFXIV was Tumblr.

[MeridaQ]

@kinazu you are correct in your assessment of that guy. Sure axel is right that no one is obligated to teach, but if someone acts like that and gives no helpful advice. They are harassing and them speaking in the first place had no real value to the community. I am sure that someone like your boyfriend, would have explained your class to you in time.

@riyarp sorry that has been your experience. I have run many instances where by chatting and trying to make it more entertaining for people has lead to great experiences and really enjoyable memories. I always say hi in the dungeons and complement good play. I think once people realize that I am not going to bite someone’s head off they relax and are more open to conversation. I have had bad apples, but I have helped and supported many people along the way. Randos and people on my server. I like our community and I put forth effort to make it better. I think this perspective can drastically change how everyone interacts in game.

[Cakekizyy]

I can't remember a single time where someone didn't give a rude response or flat out ignore advice or help from me when they didn't explicitly ask for it to begin with.

I go by axiom that unsolicited advice is unwelcome advice. I only help if someone asks. If they mention they are new, I will offer if it looks like they are struggling.

[HoodRat]

I go by axiom that unsolicited advice is unwelcome advice. I only help if someone asks. If they mention they are new, I will offer if it looks like they are struggling.

Last time I had someone say they were new they kept pulling every boss before I could explain mechanics. I jut pretty much keep to myself now unless people ask for something.

[Astrapls]

I can field that curiosity, Neri.

Yes, my very first post is to that thread - I can promise you I was just trying to be helpful.
(I even linked a screenshot within that first post - but I got still got called out on it).

Admittedly I was a bit crushed, because it wasn't the introduction to the forums I expected, or wanted.
I thought maybe Limit Break Radio were right, these forums aren't for every XIV player, & I'd made a mistake joining up.

But I'm here now, I'd love participate on boards here - if you folks will have me ^^

I looked at your first post and the two responses to it. Neither were hostile at all.

If you truly felt that was hostile, I have to honestly say the forums aren't for you.